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multimodal_satire

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https://babylonbee.com/news/this-aint-it-chief-updated-to-this-aint-it-noble-indigenous-tribal-leader

'This Ain’t It, Chief' Updated To 'This Ain’t It, Noble Indigenous Tribal Leader'

https://babylonbee.com/news/announcement-the-babylon-bee-will-now-only-write-positive-articles-in-order-to-use-our-prophetic-powers-for-good

Using Our Prophetic Powers For Good: The Babylon Bee Will Now Only Write Articles About Positive Things Happening To Humanity

https://babylonbee.com/news/study-wearing-a-mask-increases-your-risk-of-being-a-big-sissy

Study Finds Connection Between Wearing A Mask And Being A Big Sissy

https://babylonbee.com/news/benny-hinn-flies-private-jet-to-dagobah-to-train-his-force-powers

Benny Hinn Travels To Dagobah To Master His Power To Knock People Over

https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-adds-cry-room-for-fussy-reporters

White House Adds Cry Room For Fussy Reporters

https://babylonbee.com/news/children-threaten-to-help

Children Threaten To Help

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-replaces-washington-monument-with-giant-can-of-goya-beans

Trump Replaces Washington Monument With Giant Can Of Goya Beans

https://babylonbee.com/news/hackers-suspected-as-biden-posts-complete-coherent-thought-on-twitter

Hack Suspected As Biden Posts Complete, Coherent Thought On Twitter

https://babylonbee.com/news/kanye-west-drops-out-of-race-after-elon-musk-offers-to-make-him-king-of-mars

Kanye West Drops Out Of Race After Elon Musk Offers Him Position As President Of Mars

https://babylonbee.com/news/more-people-voluntarily-committing-themselves-to-asylums-to-escape-insanity-of-real-world

More People Voluntarily Committing Themselves To Asylums To Escape Insanity Of Real World

https://babylonbee.com/news/rioters-throwing-bricks-molotov-cocktails-at-nations-eagles-due-to-association-with-nazi-party

Antifa Throwing Bricks, Molotov Cocktails At Nation's Eagles Due To Association With Nazi Party

https://babylonbee.com/news/walmart-requiring-all-shoppers-to-wear-pants

Walmart Now Requires All Shoppers To Wear Pants

https://babylonbee.com/news/business-owner-charged-with-hate-crime-for-cleaning-blm-graffiti-from-his-store-windows

Business Owner Charged With Hate Crime For Painting Over BLM Graffiti On His Storefront

https://babylonbee.com/news/op-ed-real-women-cant-play-trans-women-but-trans-women-are-real-women-but-fatal-system-error-shutting-down

Op-Ed: Women Can’t Play Trans Women Roles But Trans Women Are Women But [FATAL SYSTEM ERROR! SHUTTING DOWN!]

https://babylonbee.com/news/the-woke-cult-the-james-lindsay-interview

The Woke Cult: The James Lindsay Interview

https://babylonbee.com/news/dangerous-levels-of-methane-released-as-republicans-rush-to-buy-goya-beans

Global Warming Disaster: Dangerous Amounts Of Methane Released As Republicans Rush To Buy Goya Beans

https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-says-rioters-were-just-burning-down-neighborhoods-to-keep-themselves-warm

AOC Claims Rioters Are Just Burning Down Neighborhoods To Keep Themselves Warm

https://babylonbee.com/news/if-you-like-secular-things-try-these-christian-alternatives-that-are-almost-as-good

If You Like Secular Things, Try These Christian Alternatives That Are Almost As Good

https://babylonbee.com/news/gracious-loving-wife-pretends-she-hasnt-already-seen-meme

Gracious, Loving Wife Pretends She Hasn't Already Seen That Meme

https://babylonbee.com/news/thousands-of-ceos-announce-they-support-trump-in-hopes-of-triggering-a-boycott

Thousands Of CEOs Announce They Support Trump In Hopes Of Triggering A Boycott

https://babylonbee.com/news/gavin-newsom-put-on-timeout-for-playing-with-economys-onoff-switch-again

Gavin Newsom Put On Timeout For Playing With Economy's On/Off Switch Again

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-demotes-doctor-fauci-to-dentist

Trump Demotes Doctor Fauci To Dentist

https://babylonbee.com/news/heres-whats-problematic-with-each-of-the-nfls-32-team-names

Here's What's Problematic With Each Of The NFL's 32 Team Names

https://babylonbee.com/news/aoc-says-all-nyc-crime-is-probably-committed-by-a-street-rat-with-a-heart-of-gold-stealing-bread-to-feed-his-pet-monkey

AOC: 'Most Crime Is Probably Just Some Street Rat With A Heart Of Gold Stealing Apples To Feed His Pet Monkey'

https://babylonbee.com/news/op-ed-theres-no-such-thing-as-bully-culture-its-just-my-fists-free-market-response-to-your-stupid-face-dweeb

Op-Ed: There's No Such Thing As Bully Culture, It's Just My Fist's Free Market Response To Your Stupid Face, Dweeb

https://babylonbee.com/news/famed-archaeology-professor-resigns-after-several-photos-surface-of-him-in-nazi-uniforms

Famed Archaeology Professor Fired After Photos Surface Of Him Wearing Nazi Uniform

https://babylonbee.com/news/handy-new-button-lets-you-notify-someones-pastor-about-their-facebook-post

Handy New Button Lets You Notify Someone's Pastor About Their Facebook Post

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-on-right-side-of-history-surprised-to-find-he-still-went-to-hell

Man On Right Side Of History Surprised To Find He Still Went To Hell

https://babylonbee.com/news/genius-trump-puts-on-mask-causing-liberals-to-question-effectiveness-of-masks

Genius Trump Wears Mask Causing Media To Question Effectiveness Of Masks

https://babylonbee.com/news/security-footage-captures-unidentified-man-defacing-nyc-mural-to-read-orange-lives-matter

Unidentified Suspect Seen Defacing NYC Mural To Read 'Orange Lives Matter'

https://babylonbee.com/news/tiktoks-chinese-spies-stealing-all-americas-most-top-secret-dance-moves

Report: Chinese Spies Using TikTok To Steal All America's Top-Secret Dance Moves

https://babylonbee.com/news/couple-unwinds-after-stressful-day-with-graphic-murder-documentary

After Stressful Day, Couple Unwinds With Graphic Murder Documentary

https://babylonbee.com/news/dems-call-for-labels-warning-consumers-if-a-companys-ceo-voted-for-trump

Democrats Call For Labels Warning Consumers If A Company's CEO Voted For Trump

https://babylonbee.com/news/pelosi-we-have-to-knock-the-statues-down-to-find-out-if-theyre-racist

Pelosi: 'We Have To Knock The Statues Down To Find Out If They're Racist'

https://babylonbee.com/news/moved-by-black-lives-matter-being-painted-outside-trump-tower-trump-joins-the-black-panthers

Deeply Moved By 'Black Lives Matter' Mural, Trump Joins The Black Panthers

https://babylonbee.com/news/elizabeth-warren-declares-herself-warlord-of-eastern-oklahoma-autonomous-zone

Elizabeth Warren Declares Herself Warlord Of Eastern Oklahoma Autonomous Zone

https://babylonbee.com/news/podcast-birthday-party-on-mars

Podcast: Birthday Party On Mars

https://babylonbee.com/news/bible-experts-determine-goliath-died-of-covid-19

Bible Experts Determine Goliath Died Of COVID-19

https://babylonbee.com/news/omar-we-must-dismantle-the-oppressive-system-that-allowed-a-refugee-to-get-elected-to-the-highest-legislative-body-in-the-land

Omar: 'We Must Dismantle The Oppressive System That Allowed A Refugee To Get Elected To The Highest Legislative Body In The Land'

https://babylonbee.com/news/op-ed-i-dont-want-to-live-in-a-world-where-we-cant-force-nuns-to-kill-babies

Op-Ed: I Don’t Want To Live In A World Where We Can’t Force Nuns To Kill Babies

https://babylonbee.com/news/people-on-boat-drifting-left-accuse-shore-of-drifting-far-to-the-right

People On Boat Drifting Left Wondering Why Shore Is Drifting Right

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-solves-global-warming-by-running-white-house-ac-with-the-windows-open

Trump Solves Global Warming By Running White House AC With The Windows Open

https://babylonbee.com/news/unable-to-take-down-nuns-with-the-courts-obama-turns-to-vigilante-justice

Unable To Take Down Nuns With The Courts, Obama Turns To Vigilante Justice

https://babylonbee.com/news/grampa-simpson-to-be-voiced-by-joe-biden

Equality For The Elderly: Grampa Simpson Will Now Be Voiced By Joe Biden

https://babylonbee.com/news/fathers-only-spare-moment-to-play-video-games-spent-downloading-patches

Father's Only Spare Moment To Play Video Games Spent Downloading Updates

https://babylonbee.com/news/facebook-to-require-masks-in-all-profile-pictures

Facebook To Require Masks In All Profile Pictures

https://babylonbee.com/news/baptists-lose-hundreds-of-pounds-as-potlucks-canceled

Baptists Lose Hundreds Of Pounds Thanks To Canceled Potlucks

https://babylonbee.com/news/liberals-worried-that-without-cancel-culture-theyd-have-to-discuss-and-defend-their-ideas

Liberals Worried That Without Cancel Culture They'd Actually Have To Defend Their Ideas

https://babylonbee.com/news/international-manhunt-under-way-for-those-who-signed-letter-asking-for-tolerance-of-differing-viewpoints

International Manhunt Under Way For Those Who Signed Letter Supporting Tolerance Of Differing Viewpoints

https://babylonbee.com/news/governors-reinstate-lockdowns-to-combat-recovering-economy

Governors Reinstate Lockdowns To Combat Recovering Economy

https://babylonbee.com/news/church-hangs-black-lives-matter-banner-to-prevent-spread-of-coronavirus

Church Hangs 'Black Lives Matter' Banner To Prevent Spread Of Coronavirus

https://babylonbee.com/news/kanye-selects-joel-osteen-as-running-mate

Kanye Selects Joel Osteen As Running Mate

https://babylonbee.com/news/i-definitely-wouldnt-have-supported-the-holocaust-if-i-lived-in-nazi-germany-says-woman-who-supports-abortion-today

'I Definitely Wouldn't Have Supported The Holocaust If I Lived In Nazi Germany,' Says Woman Who Supports Abortion Today

https://babylonbee.com/news/hollywood-hospitals-replace-medical-doctors-with-celebrities

Nation's Hospitals To Replace Doctors With Celebrities Doling Out Medical Advice

https://babylonbee.com/news/gavin-newsom-alerted-to-illegal-activity-by-the-sound-of-childrens-laughter

Gavin Newsom Alerted To Illegal Activity By The Sound Of Children’s Laughter

https://babylonbee.com/news/christian-in-portland-the-drew-dyck-interview

Christian In Portland: The Drew Dyck Interview

https://babylonbee.com/news/in-ultimate-act-of-sacrificial-love-man-plugs-in-wifes-phone-instead-of-his-own

In Ultimate Act Of Sacrificial Love, Man Plugs In Wife's Phone Instead Of His

https://babylonbee.com/news/disney-displaying-warning-that-hamilton-contains-positive-depictions-of-founding-fathers

Disney+ Displays Warning That 'Hamilton' May Contain Positive Depictions Of Founding Fathers

https://babylonbee.com/news/atheists-launch-no-lives-matter-movement

Atheists Launch No Lives Matter Movement

https://babylonbee.com/news/rocky-balboa-statue-goes-15-rounds-against-rioters

Rocky Balboa Statue Goes 15 Rounds Against Rioters

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-broadcasts-trigger-warning-before-images-of-trump-standing-in-front-of-mount-rushmore

CNN Includes Trigger Warning Before Footage Of Patriotic Event At Mount Rushmore

https://babylonbee.com/news/chicago-mayor-says-murders-this-weekend-were-mostly-peaceful

Chicago Mayor Says Fourth Of July Weekend Was 'Mostly Peaceful'

https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-that-kills-3000-babies-a-day-feels-morally-superior-to-slaveowners-from-200-years-ago

Nation That Kills 3,000 Babies A Day Feels Morally Superior To Slaveowners From 200 Years Ago

https://babylonbee.com/news/op-ed-anyone-who-claims-cancel-culture-is-real-is-a-bigot-who-should-lose-his-job

Op-Ed: Anyone Who Claims Cancel Culture Is Real Is A Bigot Who Should Lose His Job

https://babylonbee.com/news/kanye-west-seizes-opportunity-to-be-most-rational-coherent-presidential-candidate

Kanye West Seizes Opportunity To Be Most Rational, Coherent Presidential Candidate

https://babylonbee.com/news/state-governor-mandates-everyone-wear-snorkels-in-case-they-fall-in-a-pool

State Governor Mandates Everyone Wear Snorkels In Case They Fall In A Pool

https://babylonbee.com/news/with-fireworks-cancelled-americans-forced-to-celebrate-by-firing-their-millions-of-guns-in-the-air

With Fireworks Canceled, Americans Celebrate By Firing Their Many, Many Guns In The Air

https://babylonbee.com/news/peter-removed-as-apostle-after-anti-gentile-statements-uncovered

Peter Removed As Apostle After Anti-Gentile Statements Uncovered

https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-proves-healthy-cognition-by-reciting-from-memory-all-the-sounds-animals-can-make

Biden Proves Healthy Cognition By Flawlessly Reciting All The Sounds Animals Can Make

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-app-kidsalive-reminds-you-to-look-up-from-your-phone-to-check-if-your-kids-are-still-alive

New App Reminds You To Look Up From Your Phone To Check If Your Kids Are Still Alive

https://babylonbee.com/news/youre-already-enough-youre-perfect-just-the-way-you-are-shouts-lifeguard-steven-furtick-to-drowning-man

'You're Already Enough! You're Perfect Just The Way You Are!' Shouts Lifeguard Steven Furtick To Drowning Man

https://babylonbee.com/news/california-unveils-lions-den-for-christians-who-sing-in-church

California Unveils Lions' Den For Christians Who Sing In Church

https://babylonbee.com/news/scholars-now-believe-king-david-wrote-the-psalms-during-his-emo-phase

Scholars Now Believe David Wrote Most Of The Psalms During His Emo Phase

https://babylonbee.com/news/podcast-the-suicide-of-thought

Podcast: The Suicide Of Thought

https://babylonbee.com/news/i-just-think-its-important-to-always-be-patient-with-your-children-says-childless-little-jerk

'I Just Think It's Important To Always Be Patient With Your Children,' Says Childless Little Jerk

https://babylonbee.com/news/americans-prepare-to-celebrate-independence-day-while-confined-to-their-homes-by-the-government

Americans Excited To Celebrate Their Liberty While Confined To Their Homes By The Government

https://babylonbee.com/news/redskins-to-change-name-to-lizard-people-so-theyll-fit-in-better-in-dc

Redskins Change Name To 'Lizard People' To Better Represent Population Of Washington, D.C.

https://babylonbee.com/news/wolverines-gender-reassignment-surgery-unsuccessful

Wolverine's Gender Reassignment Surgery Unsuccessful Yet Again

https://babylonbee.com/news/tourists-flock-from-around-country-to-view-ancient-ruins-of-chaz

Tourists Flock From Around Country To View Ancient Ruins Of CHAZ

https://babylonbee.com/news/netflix-hires-racists-to-watch-old-shows-and-removes-whatever-they-laugh-at

Netflix Hires Racists And Pulls Any Episodes They Laugh At

https://babylonbee.com/news/elca-dropping-problematic-evangelic-lutheran-church-and-america-from-denomination-name

ELCA Dropping All Problematic Words From Name: ‘Evangelical,’ ‘Lutheran,’ ‘Church,’ And ‘America’

https://babylonbee.com/news/federal-prison-hires-top-rated-italian-bodyguard-hillena-clintonelli-to-protect-ghislaine-maxwell

FBI Hires Top-Rated Italian Bodyguard Hiluigi Clintonelli To Protect Ghislaine Maxwell

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-governors-frantically-fund-the-police-again-after-realizing-they-need-them-to-enforce-lockdowns

Sad: Democrat Leaders Struggling To Enforce Lockdowns After Getting Rid Of All The Police

https://babylonbee.com/news/really-interesting-theological-discussion-ruined-by-someone-pulling-out-a-bible-verse

Really Interesting Theological Discussion Ruined By Someone Pulling Out A Bible Verse

https://babylonbee.com/news/governor-newsom-orders-californians-to-launch-fireworks-indoors-this-year

Governor Newsom Orders Californians To Launch Fireworks Indoors This Year

https://babylonbee.com/news/frenzied-crowds-rush-stores-to-pick-up-copy-of-blazing-saddles-before-it-goes-down-memory-hole

Frenzied Crowds Rush Stores To Pick Up Copy Of 'Blazing Saddles' Before It Goes Down Memory Hole

https://babylonbee.com/news/father-who-instills-sound-doctrine-in-children-also-guarantees-theyll-see-mittens-the-cat-in-heaven

Father Who Instills Sound Doctrine In Children Also Guarantees They'll See Mittens The Cat In Heaven

https://babylonbee.com/news/powerful-lebron-james-pulls-over-to-lecture-homeless-man-on-his-white-privilege

Powerful: LeBron James Pulls Over To Lecture Homeless Man On His White Privilege

https://babylonbee.com/news/controversy-as-biden-caught-sniffing-confederate-statue

Controversy As Biden Caught Sniffing Confederate Statue

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-offers-to-give-biden-head-start-on-all-debate-responses

Trump Generously Offers To Give Biden 30-Minute Head Start On All Debate Responses

https://babylonbee.com/news/to-promote-inclusivity-hollywood-actors-pledge-never-to-take-a-role-where-they-have-to-pretend-to-be-someone-theyre-not

Hollywood Actors Pledge Never To Take A Role Where They Have To Pretend To Be Someone Else

https://babylonbee.com/news/christian-briefly-considers-placing-hope-in-god-after-supreme-court-lets-him-down-again

Christian Briefly Considers Placing Hope In God After Supreme Court Lets Him Down Again

https://babylonbee.com/news/james-harden-still-getting-fouled-despite-6-foot-social-distancing-rules

James Harden Still Getting Fouled Despite 6-Foot Social Distancing Rule

https://babylonbee.com/news/controversial-video-of-trump-and-melania-brandishing-guns-as-reporters-near-white-house

Controversial Video Shows Trump And Melania Brandishing Guns As Reporters Near White House

https://babylonbee.com/news/equality-at-last-disney-confirms-winnie-the-pooh-will-be-voiced-by-bear

Equality At Last: Disney Confirms Winnie The Pooh Will Now Be Voiced By An Actual Bear

https://babylonbee.com/news/growing-up-hinn-the-costi-hinn-interview

Growing Up Hinn: The Costi Hinn Interview

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-prepare-to-celebrate-dependence-day

Democrats Prepare To Celebrate Dependence Day

https://babylonbee.com/news/merciful-god-to-end-humanity-before-princess-bride-can-be-remade

Merciful God Vows To End Humanity Before 'The Princess Bride' Can Be Remade

https://babylonbee.com/news/ventriloquist-takes-act-to-next-level-thanks-to-covid-mask

Ventriloquist Takes Act To Next Level Thanks To COVID Mask

https://babylonbee.com/news/i-had-to-follow-precedent-says-supreme-court-justice-of-nation-where-slavery-was-once-legal

‘We Can't Just Overturn Precedent,’ Says Supreme Court Justice Of Nation Where Slavery Was Once Legal