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Hello, I’ve read a lot of posts recently about folks missing classes and feeling too anxious to come back. Don’t worry. We would much rather you come back to our classes than continue to miss. We teach because we care about you individually. We care about what’s going on in your lives. I know it’s easy to see professors as these omnipresent overlords but know that we are human and we have definitely been in your position before. Please feel better and know that you are always welcome back into class. Just shoot us an email and let us know what’s up so we can help you make up the work you missed.
| Just as an ironic heads-up, I stay up at night worrying about my students who miss class and lose contact. Oh, anxiety, you troublesome bitch!
|
It was early afternoon and I had summoned an Uber driver from my home to take me to a friends house to watch some basketball about 25-30 minutes away.
He arrives, greetings were fine, asked me how my day was, standard stuff. Not much talking between us, and honestly I don't mind. Car was clean as well!
​
About 20 minutes into our drive I notice he's sort of glancing in the rearview at me like he wants to say something, he starts kind of breathing deep breaths and says: "Sorry I have to pull over." I reply: "Ok is everything alright?." He says "Sorry having a panic attack."
I remained calm and told him, "Ok that's fine man, I have panic attacks too, I'm not going anywhere important, take your time."
Luckily he was able to pullover, we were in a residential area with a hill next to us and side walk.
He wasn't really speaking much at this point and I told him: "I know when I have these attacks I like to be alone, don't worry I'm not in a hurry, I'll be over here on the curb playing games on my phone take your time, let me know if you want to call anyone."
​
About 20-30 minutes later, I told him I could drive him the rest of the way so he could finish his trip and make money, he said to give him a few more minutes. He was able to calm down enough to drive us. We arrived fine, I tipped him told him this is my number if he needs to talk with someone with anxiety as well and went on our ways. I think fresh air and giving him space helped him instead of worrying about finishing his trip with me. Anyways just a small story I had today. Cheers | The way you responded to that situation was absolutely beautiful. |
Just one of the hellish cycles that anxiety gets me caught in. Can anyone else relate? | Meeeeeeee. I keep promising myself to switch over to green tea, which has less caffeine, but I love the taste of coffee too much. |
If I go to sleep then the next day is gonna come so much faster, but if I stay up late I can just exist and not have to deal with the world and I can just be in my little bubble. I don’t have to live, I can just exist, just be. Everything is quiet and calm and I have no responsibilities and nothing that I HAVE to do besides exist. The next day will come by so fast if I sleep and I’ll miss out on this moment of nothingness, and I’m just not ready to deal with the next day yet, I just need a few more hours of just being. | “Revenge bedtime procrastination.” A new name for an old practice. ;) |
just needed to get that out there | My mother, who knows I have anxiety, has done this.
“Call me later please.“
Frantically calling, ask what’s wrong
“Nothing, just wanted to say hi...” |
1. You're nice and easy to be around but you people please too much
2. You obsess over things that other people probably don't even notice
3. You're consumed by every mistake you make by beating yourself up over it
4. You know you're capable but you don't fully believe in yourself
And
5. In every situation the worst scenario is your biggest thought | When someone doesn't return a phone call I literally panic thinking: 1. They hate me 2. I'm fired 3. They're annoyed by me 4. All of the above. It's the absolute worst. Usually they're just busy and call right back. Totally normal. But my brain makes a thing out of it until I send a wall of text apologizing for my very existence and promise to immediately cease breathing if it would make them happy! |
I ORDERED A PIZZA. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, EVEN THO I WAS SHAKING WHILE GIVING THE PIZZA MAN MONEY I FCKING DID IT. HOLY SHIT I CANT BELIEVE IM WRITING THIS | As someone that would rather starve, CONGRATS!! |
Ahem.
**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!**
Thank you. | What I hate is when you know you're being irrational, and you know you're safe, but your brain and body just go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....
sometimes I just want to spray that part of my brain with a hose and tell it to get off my damn lawn. |
Edit: sometimes I just feel so alone, sometimes more than 1.5k people relate to me. Thank you. | Or thinking about an embarassing moment that wasn't even that bad that happened two years ago that no one remembers but you |
It's sooooo much easier going to a restaurant/café/fast food joint/whatever (for the first time) when you can check out the contents and prices of their menus beforehand, and this especially comes in handy to my socially anxious peeps. Sometimes I see a restaurant that looks promising, but I chicken out because I like to have my order locked and loaded before even setting foot at the place.
Also, this doubles as a plea to all restaurants- if you didn't alreday do it, I'M BEGGING YOU please post your menus online, whether on your website, your IG story highlights, or in an album on Facebook. | I don't understand how some people live. Like they just drive up to the thing and just fuckin....ASSUME they'll be able to find something and say it to the person in a timely manner
*what comes on it? ahh fuck it, it'll be fine* |
EDIT: I heard the quote somewhere, doesn't belong to me. :) | Somehow managed today. Shocked myself and am not sure where it came from. |
EDIT: WOW! Thank you so much guys for your kind words! I’m in the UK and have just woke up to all of this positivity. I knew reddit was an awesome place but this has just confirmed it even more. We all deserve contentment, thank you so much 💕
So after years of childhood trauma, anxiety and depression I finally got to a stage where I could afford decent therapy and had my first session today. My therapist seems really nice and her little room was the perfect environment for me to feel comfortable talking.
At the end she asked me what I wanted from therapy. As I was telling her all about me and my life, I was constantly worried about her thinking I was overreacting, judging my stories or thinking them not serious enough to require therapy and that I was just a weak person. She looked at my blankly and said ‘is it a big deal for you?’ I said, ‘yes, massively’ and she just simply replied ‘well then it’s a big deal...’, and just shrugged her shoulders and started talking about our next session.
Honestly it was like an epiphany. I realised that if something is a big deal in MY universe, then it is a big deal because it’s me that matters and someone else not thinking it’s serious does NOT invalidate that. I’m always so anxious that my problems will seem silly to someone else, but actually if they really care about helping you get through it, they won’t judge the nature of the problem but try and help you through it anyway because they know it’s a serious problem to you. Your problems are all valid and they’re all worth fixing guys, don’t ever forget that xx | Thank you so much for sharing, it was nice to read. Sending you love |
I thought it was an interesting way to look at it and wanted to share with you all. | To add to this, the work that your brain does is not figurative, it is literal. At any given moment, the physical mechanisms of your brain are using about a quarter of the resources carried to it by blood (air, water, nutrients). When thinking hard, you can use up to 50%. That's half of all your blood and resources just for the brain, and half for the rest of the whole body. If overthinking is exhausting you, it's literally because you are exhausting your resources with your brain. There's nothing imaginary about it. |
Unclench your jaw. Drop your shoulders. Take a deep breath in and hold it...and slowly let it go.
Have a wonderful Monday, beautiful! 💛 | Thank you asscrawler 😊 |
I have work in the morning and my brain is like “if you stay up til 1 then you have another half an hour to relax before going to sleep & waking up anxious for work” | 100% , then I will use sleep in the morning to escape shit. A vicious circle. |
Thanks brain. | Or worried you’ll sleep through your alarm |
Every day I have this anxiety about work, and every day I tel myself “well it’ll be over at 5pm” and then I have the evening but I go to bed very early because I’m tired of being anxious all day and then do it all over again in the morning. I feel like I’ve lost months of time like this. I don’t want to let my life disappear into just waiting for the days to be over. | This is my every day life. I'm essentially living for the end of the day so I can attempt to sleep and fail the next day. Rinse and repeat. I have no idea how to break the cycle. |
Avoiding the anxiety-provoking task feels good in the short term because your brain feels like it has avoided some kind of threat. This is one of the reasons why procrastination feels so good! However, avoiding the task just reinforces your belief that the task *is* a threatening one, so the anxiety gets more intense the next time you come to it.
Making it your first task will eliminate this vicious cycle altogether. You'll likely feel better as you'll get a sense of achievement from "beating" the anxiety-provoking thing. There is also the added bonus that it won't be nagging the back of your mind for the rest of the day!
All credit for this tip goes to u/TomClinPsy who posted it elsewhere but it was removed for some reason. Luckily I had screenshot it because it felt so profound to me. | This is so spot on for me. I have severe anxiety and I struggle with the simplest of tasks. Mopping the floor can take me a month because I’ll put it off til the next morning. Then the evening. Rinse repeat.
I can put off shopping until my cupboards are bare and sometimes go through withdrawal because I can’t do something as simple as refill a repeat prescription.
An interaction on one of my posts today had me realise that the more I ruminate over tasks, the more daunting they become.
One of the household chores I never seem to struggle with for example, has always been the dishes. Because it’s never been something I’ve put on my mental to do list. I tend to wash a couple of dishes while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil or waiting for the microwave to ping etc etc and they just get done.
But mopping the floor becomes an impossible task because I overthink it. “I can’t just mop the floor. I’ve gotta sweep first. Then I have to pick up all the stuff on the floor. Then I’ve gotta make up the bucket etc etc etc. Oh and there’s no point having a clean floor if the stove is dirty. So I have to clean that first and then the wall tiles are gonna look weird if the floor is all shiny. So I’ll have to clean those too... then the windows will need doing. Eh. There’s no time for all that now” then I’ve made it into a whole thing.
Stupid example, but that’s pretty much how I approach everything in life and I’m just sat here on my arse doing nothing with my life at 32 because making a phone call is too hard |
Basically the title. I constantly feel like I’ve done or said something wrong or offensive and somebody is mad at me after social interactions. Especially with my family and friends. Even if the interactions ended positively and with hugs goodbye and such. I don’t have a bad relationship with any of them. I don’t consider myself anti social. I’ve mentioned this to my husband and some friends and have been told it’s all in my head basically(in the nicest way possible). My husband will reassure me that I’ve done nothing wrong and no one is mad at me, but I usually have a really hard time shaking the feeling and sometimes it even lasts into the next day. It happens all the time. He and others will say even if someone is mad at me that they’ll get over it, probably before I even see them again and I shouldn’t worry about it, but for some reason I can’t shake the guilty feeling. Is this just me?
EDIT: I never expected this post to get the response that it did. I want to reply to everyone, but don’t want to be a broken record either. I’m sorry you all are suffering with this as well and I hope we all find some relief someday. It really helps me to know I’m not alone in these feelings. I hope knowing you’re not alone brings you some relief as well. And I’m nobody special, but if anyone ever needs to talk or share experiences I’m here. | All. The. Time.
I feel like I’m constantly replaying every single interaction non stop and criticizing what I said or didn’t say and assuming all the horrible things and judgments others must be thinking.
I try to shut it down whenever these thoughts start by telling myself nobody else is thinking about me or obsessing about what I said and to let it go.
Have you ever looked up a list of cognitive distortions and tried challenging your thoughts when you start to analyze an interaction and going down the rabbit hole? It’s hard but sometimes doing a reality check that my thought is actually a worse case scenario or unrealistic black and white thinking, for example, and not necessarily true just because it popped into my head can be really helpful. |
This often comes over me and I stress so much that I’ll spend so many years feeling so negative and anxious, only to waste my life doing so and not able to live my life to the full. It sounds dumb I know but I imagine being old and looking back at what should have been some of the best years of my life which were actually tainted.
EDIT: Thank you so much for all your comments/upvotes/awards. I feel a lot better knowing I’m not alone, although I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone else! We can do this guys! | I have done this. I felt I wasted my 20's playing video games, binge drinking and eating crap with nothing to show for it and feeling shitty.
However I recently turned 30 and in a moment of 'now or never' I decided to devote more time to my wellbeing and improving some of my hobbies and taking up some new ones, as well as focusing on what was truly important in my life. You're never too old to make that change, the past is yesterday's problem.
Keep moving forward and try not too look back but if you do decide to look back, focus on the good times and memories and silence those inner voices telling you you wasted your time.
They won't be there when your dead so why give them the time of day now? |
That is all. | Fuck anxiety. All my homes hate anxiety. |
There’s a lot of physical symptoms such as shaking, fidgeting, heavy breathing, rapid breathing, getting extremely overheated, rapid heartbeat, stomach pain, nausea, bathroom issues, etc. I think most people just assume it’s completely internal, but man it can be exhausting. Especially when you’re in an anxiety-inducing situation that is lengthy, such as a social outing. It can really take a toll on your energy and productivity, even the next day. | I don’t know if this is normal, but some days are so anxiety ridden that I am exhausted all day. |
I have adapted really well to the social isolation and working from home thing. I have a great routine now (way more balance with work/life/health than I did pre-covid) and love having more time to spend with my pets, reading & contemplating. All the zoom meetings for work and maybe 1-2 virtual “catch ups” with friends every week are adequate for me socially.
However when I think about how I’ll have to go back to my typical 8-5 grind with a 2 hour commute on top of those hours, I feel super anxious. Anybody else in a similar boat?
Note I’m not saying I hope covid continues to thrive, I know it has had a severely negative impact on many people. I am just anxious at the thought of returning to what was my “normal life” that I hated. | It’s very strange to me how well I’ve adapted to things. Over the past couple months I’ve dropped several bad habits, some of them years old, and developed many good ones - out of necessity, mind you, but it’s been working for me. Overall, I’m in a much better headspace than I was at the start of this.
I’m very introverted and strongly dislike my line of work, so there’s that. But my general anxiety has been much more manageable and not having to deal with the pressures of day-to-day life has been undeniably positive for me. I do miss my friends, but many of them are people I go weeks or even months without meeting with even when we’re not in quarantine.
I’m in the same boat as you - while I sincerely want covid-19 to end for the sake of the greater good, I am not ready to return to my normal life. |
Confidence is 75% of the battle in life. Jobs, partners, friends, etc. it's all down to being confident. You may not actually know what you're doing but being confident will convince all those around you.
With anxiety, you will be constantly doubting yourself, thinking you can't do it. Trying to talk yourself out of daunting situations, and as such struggling to grow as a person.
It can be hard for people to understand how much of a disadvantage this puts you in. It's harder to make friends and socialise, date, work, and even things like phoning the doctor, driving, and shopping can feel like too much to handle.
Constant anxiety is so incredibly unhealthy for your psyche yet people without anxiety often can't understand this. Instead we appear a bit shy, maybe even lazy, but they don't know what it feels like to have this affliction | Not to mention it's physically exhausting too. Panic attacks, not being able to sleep because your brain won't stop the anxious thoughts, just being constantly on edge takes a toll on the body. |
I'm not going to lie. It was hell. Every step of it was panic attacks, fear, and a rollercoaster of emotions. But I did it. And now I have such a massive feeling of relief. It really made clear that the only way to deal with things is literally just to face them head on. I wasn't going to have this amazing new house or job unless I pushed myself through. Period.
If you're going through something and its hard to follow through, or hard to even start. Just try and think about the end goal, not the process. It doesnt make it easy. But it gives you just enough motivation to keep taking one more small step at a time. As Dory says, "just keep swimming". | That’s awesome. Congratulations! |
I know you probably don’t believe me, but it WILL get better and easier. I know it sounds scary when governments start to put out all of those limitations and lockdowns, but it’s for the better.
If you’re starting quarantine or are obligated to stay home just like we are, I promise you’ll get used to it. And not used to it in a negative way! There are so many things you can do at home: I baked so many cakes, I’m trying to do the splits, I’m reading all the books I never got a chance to read. Isolation is reaaally not that bad.
We have the amazing power of adaptation. Every tool you have learned to cope with your anxiety will come in super handy, and you’ll see how strong you are with them. Sometimes I imagine COVID-19 as the boss level of anxiety, and it gets me super pumped lol. It makes me want to kick its ass so much.
It’s a wild ride but if us italians are riding it out, you’ll ride it out as well!
Sending you all a giant hug. We’re in this shit together.
And please, remember this pro tip: check what is necessary to check on the news. And that means check only what YOU as a citizen need to do. Numbers will go super high, then super low, then high and low again... it’s a pain that you really don’t need in your everyday life. If it’s impossible for you to resist the urge, have a trusted loved one tell you the necessary things you need to know: if there are new limitations, if you can go to school / work , what you should do with your hands etc.
EDIT: thank you so much for the awards, I really never thought this would blow up. There are so many comments, I’ll try my best to answer to the most. But as for all the compliments, THANK YOU!! You are all really sweet. You’ve joined the fight with us, you are not alone :). | Thank you, i'm in Ohio in the US and we are starting to shut down. some people are passing this off as nothing and others are taking it seriously. Myself im trying to stay calm for my family but be prepared. Thank you again for the good post! |
Yes that’s it, relax, you deserve it. :)
Edit: every time I get a notification for my post, it reminds me to do this lol. | I can’t. I’m pooping and it’s a rough one. |
“Just breathe!” “Think positively.” “Worrying only makes you suffer twice.” Ya know, those kinds of saying.
I wish it was that easy. If I could control it, it wouldn’t be called an illness.
This morning I woke up feeling perfectly fine (which is rare), was sitting on my couch reading then all of the sudden, my heart started beating so fast for no fucking reason, and I started hyperventilating. It took like 2 hours to collect myself and I had no idea what that whole episode was about.
So don’t tell me it’s something I can control, I had a panic attack while thinking about literally nothing.
Edit: Thank you to all the healthy people that replied to this post saying: “We mean well”. I get that. But it’s not helpful at all, when we’re venting and your first reaction is defensiveness. Sometimes all we want is to be heard. I know this is irrational, but jumping in with a cure sometimes isn’t the best route.
Also, to all my GAD fellows, thanks for reading & understanding. | Yeah, I think sometimes people think I mean I'm just stressed out about something when I talk about anxiety, but I'm really talking about a long-term diagnosed mental health disorder.
They're not doing so with any malice, it's just a misunderstanding :/ |
It's about 2 degrees Celsius at night where I live right now, for context. As I arrived home late this evening I saw a homeless man sleeping under some building insulation fabric in the outdoor stairwell of my apartment building.
As soon as I got inside my nice toasty apartment I couldn't stop thinking about how the poor guy must be freezing. I couldn't help but feel such an aching sadness that so many people just would walk past, not doing anything because of their discomfort, just like the discomfort I was feeling. I decided fuck it, show this guy the care and common decency you would want if you were in a similar situation. I found a spare blanket I had, nice and fuzzy and warm, and a hot water bottle I don't use and filled it up with hot boiled water. I was shaking so hard at this point and almost chickened out.
Barely getting my key in the door to unlock my deadbolt as I was shaking so much, I forced myself to walk outside to him with the blanket and hot water bottle. I apologised for disturbing him, and simply said he must be freezing and to keep both items. He told me I was a gem, and thanked me.
Im back inside my apartment now, feeling like I'm about to faint from the adrenalin and starting to cry from the stress of the situation, but I am so proud of myself. I conquered the anxiety today in favour of my gut feeling and desire to act on my belief of kindness to all.
I feel I'm making a big deal out of literally just being a decent human, but it was a big deal for me and my anxiety so I wanted to share the success. | Proud of you |
I fucking hate them. They have no empathy and they are fucking assholes. I left them and I am on the beach rn because sea calms me down. | Straight up ghost them, they don’t deserve any access to your energy. I hope you’re doing better now, much love. |
So, I was wondering, anyone feel like this?
I think I spend more time in my one head than in the real life. I constantly fantasise and I take refuge in books and TV shows.
I'm very emphatic too, and I usually imagen how is does the characters feels.
Don’t get me wrong, I know what is real life and what isn’t. But I took comfort in imaginary worlds and usually overindulge in this feelings and worlds.
I feel like life is extremely unpleasant more of the time. When I was younger this could had been seen as "daydreaming" but I’m almost 22 years old now… and I don’t know if this is still a good thing.
Edit: Hey! I'm so so happy for all the support in the comments. I just wanted to say thank you to you all! This has been quite emotional for me, being able to see myself in others and the similar things we all live trough. Thank you all for being so amazing! | I’m 28 and am still like this. When they say “be your own best friend” I think I took it too far LOL. |
I have been like this for years but I feel it’s been worse lately because of COVID and the fact that I’ve been working from home. I always felt anxious/guilty when I would relax, hangout inside and play video games on my days off by myself. I felt like I was supposed to be doing something productive, exercising the dog, etc. But I was working a more labor intensive job before. I now have a desk call center job and have been stuck working from home since March. So on my days off, if I don’t have plans, I’m still home and feel like I should be out doing something. But some weekends I just want to do nothing, even if it’s beautiful out (I usually pray for rainy days when I’m off so I feel less guilty.) I also hate the heat so when it’s too hot, I don’t want to be outside. AND I usually get house chores done on my first day off so I can relax later but I still am anxious all day because I’m relaxing and playing video games. I feel like I waste my all my days off thinking of things I SHOULD have done and then when I go back to work, I feel like I wasted all my days off thinking of things I should be doing instead of mentally relaxing. I’ve honestly found myself either drinking or getting High more on my days off just so I can forget these feelings and relax.
*Edit to add, I’m also more introverted so making plans with friends can be exhausting but I do it and have fun every time. Recently all my weekends have been jam packed with plans so I wouldn’t feel like this but apparently it doesn’t work that way! | Totally get what you mean, I had/have the same issue with feeling like aaaah why am I not creating/doing useful stuff/exercising/bettering myself every minute of every day!
I personally think it’s super common in younger folk (don’t know if that applies to you) - we’ve grown up in an unstable economic situation, and we’re constantly reminded that our productivity and ability to make money define us and our futures. It’s an ingrained idea - and it’s obvious in the hustle/monetise your hobbies culture that’s so pervasive at the moment.
That aside, being productive is great, but there are plenty of things that are equally or more valuable than being productive. Doing things you enjoy is definitely one of them! Taking time to unwind, destress, play video games, read, browse Reddit, whatever makes you happy, is a valuable and worthwhile use of your time. Is it productive? Maybe not in the traditional sense. But I like to think that the ‘product’ is improved mental health, relaxation, happiness - maybe not as tangible as your work days, but arguably more important.
It’s an easy thing to accept, but hard to put into practice (from my experience, anyway). But I hope that you can work towards letting yourself have unproductive and fun days, as often as is possible - you’re only going to have one shot at life and you may as well enjoy it :) |
Isn't it just such a wild thought that there are people out there who just live their lives? They're not constantly worrying or feeling overwhelmed. They don't have panic attacks. They're able to do whatever they feel like doing! Like, it's so insane to me there are people who can travel the world, or even just function in their day to day lives.
I've only ever known life with anxiety. Although I guess that's better than living a "normal" life then developing severe anxiety, I just wish I could have known what it felt to be fearless at some point.
EDIT: I was not expecting this much of a response from everyone, I am very surprised! I am a little overwhelmed by all the comments, so I'm sorry if I don't respond to you but I am reading them! Thank you so much everyone. You are all lovely people, wishing you all the best! | Yeah, this is my boyfriend essentially. It’s fascinating to witness and I envy his carefree attitude to life. |
i almost always doubt someones intentions when they are talking to me. im always worried they think im weird or annoying, and that theyd rather be someplace else. and i almost always think when someone is being nice to me, that they are not being sincere. or when they are telling me something about themselves, they are lying to see if im "stupid enough to believe it" or something. i know its dumb and irrational. does anyone know how to let go of this doubtfulness, because im sick and tired of having nearly every conversation be like this. i just want to be able to socialise properly lol. to be honest i think this is less a social anxiety issue and more a self esteem issue but they kinda go hand in hand so | Absolutely, 100%. I have a good friend who told me last week that I didn’t realize how many people really care about and love me and that I needed to stop feeling like sharing things about my life was annoying.
I always feel like no one really wants to know what’s going on in my life or how I’m doing so I try to keep it short and go back to talking about them, and I just naturally assume that I’m a burden and that people don’t really like me. So hearing anyone say otherwise is a strange feeling, just like you said in your post. |
I've always been nervous about 'getting in trouble' - I'm not sure I can even put words to it exactly. As a kid it made sense, I had super strict parents, but it's followed me into my adult life. Like at work, I'm always anxious I'm going to get 'in trouble'.
And when I self talk that it doesn't even make sense - like who gives a fuck? Losing my job would suck but I've never lost a job and my boss says I'm doing well. And yet I find myself always looking over my shoulder and feeling guilt and anxiety building if anything is going wrong or if I slack off a bit after getting work done.
I wish I could shake the tendency but I just can't seem to. Anyone else feel this? | Yes I constantly think I’m doing a bad job even if I’m told I’m doing a good job. I imagine my boss considering firing me and it makes me anxious. I overanalyze every interaction we have. It’s so stressful! |
It feels very nice, idk if this is relatable to other people | I was feeling super anxious about a date I've had panic attacks recently about other stuff and I thought this was a likely cause for one with the fear of rejection.
But I steadied myself got through the date without incident and was rejected for a second date. I was so thrilled that I made it through the date that the rejection didn't even phase me. |
Slow responses to message, or no responses at all.
I was too busy battling my mind to make time for you.
I’m sorry.
Everyone must hate me. | also being grumpy when anxious. i feel bad about it but i cant control it. im sorry. |
Edit: Thank you guys so much for all of your nice comments, I read all of them and the support here is so inspiring! | Not all heroes wear capes...
​
Unless of course you do in which case, some heroes do, but remember what Edna Mode says, "NO CAPES". |
I barely went out with friends when I was in high school. Always heard about my friends going out to parties, but I never went to one myself. In university, I avoided going out with friends, and mostly kept to myself. At the time, I didn't realize I had anxiety. But now, when I look back, knowing that I had anxiety and depression, it makes me really sad that I missed out on socializing and parties. Even though deep down I feel like I would have felt uncomfortable at them anyways. Not sure if that makes sense or not. It's sort of feeling like I wish I could have enjoyed them even though the reality is that I probably wouldn't have enjoyed them much even if I had had the opportunity to socialize more. | That is a very common feeling. Anxiety does make us withdraw from life. |
I GOT AN OFFER!!!!!!
I went back to pessimism and expecting the worst after a few days of not hearing back, but I did today, and they offered me the job!!!!! Higher pay, almost double the PTO, amazing benefits... I’M JUST SO EXCITED!!!!
I know on my first day I’m gonna have massive anxiety and second guess everything and wish I stayed in my comfort zone but I don’t even care because this just proves to me that if I push through those nasty feelings I really can do anything!!
Thank you so so so much to everyone that gave such kind words of support and encouragement. This has been a HUGE life changing step for me and it’s amazing to be able to share it with all of y’all.
Edit: I promise I’m done bragging on myself after this but I just negotiated a (slightly, not by much but still!) higher salary as well! I’m over the moon, I can’t believe I’m me and I did this haha.
Thank y’all, the support in this sub is unbelievable and I’m so glad these posts were able to motivate people. :) every single one of y’all has it in you! | This is everything. I fucking love this post. You gave me motivation. Thank you and congratulations!!! Keep grinding. |
I FUCKING DID IT.
I have extremely bad driving anxiety and I have been stressing about this trip for months and today was the day. I drove 2 hours ON THE HIGHWAY!!!! I WENT LIKE 100 km/hr!!!!! and then 2 hours back (in the dark!!!) !!!!!!!
I bought myself a whole pizza when I got there and SMASHED IT BC I FUCKING DESERVED THAT SHIT hahahahah
It’s literally 1:45 am and I’m so fucking happy. If you’re reading this and you’re too scared to do something, DO IT. On the other side of fear is freedom. I feel like I just beat a boss level.
Good night guys, sending you all good vibes.
Edit: Thank you so much for all your lovely comments and to whoever gave me gold! I’ve posted about this issue on this sub for a while and I’m so grateful for all the support I’ve received. Wishing you all the best. 💖 | Oh my Goddd!!! Well done, I’m so happy for you!! |
Just thought someone might need this. | I needed this. Thank you! |
I'm really socially anxious and thinking about posting this is making it hard to breath and making me shake but I'm trying to get better and if you're reading this then it means I am taking a small step towards my goal and this is my first post so I'm even more anxious. I'm trying so hard from crying and deleting this post. I've probably wrote 50 different sentences and deleted them thinking it's not good enough and that people would be upset. I really don't want to but I got to try. It's been 15-20 minuets since I started to type all of this and I'm really scared on posting it. Please don't be too hard on me... I'm sorry for the mess of the post but if you're reading this it means I did it and thank you for reading. | No one is judging you. Congratulations on making a post! |
I feel like I've become a shit ton better as a person, but there are those nights that make me relive all those bad moments and I beat myself up so much that I get seriously messed up.
What I wouldn't give to go back and do it all over the right way again..That way, I might've made better friends who would've lasted through maybe?
Or maybe these experiences, they've made me better as a person? They've shaped me? I dont know at this point.
edit - didn't think so many people struggled w this. Awful stuff, but we learn from them and grow as people? take care, all of you, xx | Yes and it'll hit me like a ton of bricks. What I find to be really painful is that a lot of the time, the memories are of me making an honest mistake. I know that I did the best that I could with the resources I had in the situation I was in, but I'm still beating myself up about it. |
I've noticed here recently that my chest gets tight and I can hardly breathe when being yelled at or hearing someone raise their voice in general. Does anyone have a way to calm themselves when this happens? | I don't have any advice, but yeah, I don't like people yelling or raising their voices. I've never liked conflict, even if it wasn't directed at me. I used to cry even at 17 as my dad yelled at my addict and alcoholic older brother. If I didn't mind my dad yelling, I wouldn't still be having nightmares about arguments 5 years after moving out. People lecturing me/talking to me in a disapproving way is enough to make me cry and shut down. Something in particular comes to mind. I also had nightmares from that. I've tried explaining to people even if they aren't physically yelling at me, my reaction is no different than if they were. It's all the same to me if someone is upset with me.
I have to remind my husband to not raise his voice when we are debating/disagreeing on something unimportant. |
As the title of the post suggests, I get angry at myself for not being able to speak up when I should, say things in meetings when I should (for fear of being judged, looking stupid etc). It's like I have a real version of myself in my head that I want to be and I get annoyed at the anxious, insecure version of myself that I feel I am forced to show to the world because of my anxiety. Does anyone else have this feeling? I beat myself up daily for not feeling able to be there person I want to be particularly in a work context as often I feel I can't speak out in meetings in particular or when someone says something I disagree with. On the occasions where I do speak out I fear it comes across as aggression. It's a daily battle I feel I struggle to win. | Always. One of my biggest fears is losing someone I care about from my life. It makes me try too hard and overthink every scenario. |
I have this really annoying habit that every time I hang out with friends / have talks with people, afterwards i start obsessing over every word that came out of my mouth. "Maybe i shouldn't have said that" "Maybe i should have reacted differently"... It's so tiring and it always lasts at least the next day and makes me incredibly anxious. I just want to relax and not feel like I'm a total idiot by just interacting with others. I try to constantly fight it by telling myself i did nothing wrong, but the moment i don't fight it, i get back on the anxiety circle.
Can anyone relate?
And if anyone has any helpful tips, that'd be appreciated! | Can I relate?
Only every time I talk to someone. |
I showered. First time in 3 weeks. I scrubbed, lotioned, brushed and flossed. A milestone.
This is not a throwaway account. It's my only account. I try to hold others up. Not karma farming.
Just proud/happy I got this far. | And I WILL WIN! FUCK THIS. I AM STRONGER THAN THIS BITCH,! |
For the first time ever. I have driving anxiety, but I did it!!!!! | Good job! It's not "I just drove". It's that you had the courage to face your fears and come out on top victorious! Keep going. You got this.👍 |
I'm so happy | I'm happy for you! Keep it up👍🏻 |
so I just got my ideal job offer and I'm really happy but also finals are this week and I'm scared I will fail 1 or 4 of my classes as a result and I don't know why I can't just be happy for once and accept that maybe nice things can happen to me
I think that by always expecting the worst I make the best less likely to happen. Trying to fix it...
​
Also edit: i didnt expect this to resonate w/ so many people but ty all for the responses <3333 | Yes! Exactly!! It’s this mindset that too many good things couldn’t possibly happen around the same time. It’s exhausting and makes it impossible to appreciate anything good.
Sometimes if I have a something coming up that I really want to go well, I find myself hoping that the days before will be worse so it can balance out. |
I adopted my cat as a kitten when I was in grad school. I would not be where I am in my life without his love. Pets hold a special place for people with anxiety. He was there providing comfort when I had bad days. He gave me purpose when I felt I had none. He gave me unconditional love. I didn’t have to worry about my insecurities around him. He loved me as I was. He was with me when I hit my rock bottom. He was with me during my years long recovery cheering me on and providing support during the low times. He gave me companionship when I would isolate because the world was too much to take. He was my spirit animal. He had anxiety too and took Prozac. He was excited when I got home and would cry when I left, sometimes when I even just left the room. He loved me and I loved him and I will forever miss him and cherish the blessing he was in my life.
Edit: thank you everyone for your kind words. They do provide comfort. And thank you for the golds.
I have a great support system and a wonderful fiancé. She was with me at the vet when we had to put him to sleep. I told her my cat told me he was able to go now because he knew someone was there to take over for him in watching over me. | Sounds like he was lucky to have you in his life. I wish you peace and healing. |
Have a blessed day!❤ | Thank you for this, I think I forget far too often.
Hope you have a blessed day too! |
Personally, I don't feel like everyone is looking and judging and it's fantastic. It's going to be a struggle adjusting into normality when it's over.
Edit: Thanks for the awards :) | I have some days where I’m thankful for it. The sweating and discomfort always end up reminding me that life’s better without it though 😆
I definitely have anxiety over everything reopening. I obviously want to live life in the real world again but have a ton of anxiety over re-acclimating to all of my triggers IRL. Presenting at work, interactions that I find inexplicably embarrassing, eye contact with people on the street, getting recognized by people I know, etc. |
and it's not clear why you're nervous, it's not like a "I'm nervous about this" it's more of a "i'm just nervous" | This is actually how I know I've had anxiety since childhood. When I was a kid, I would get so excited the night before/morning of an event (sometimes as small as a trip to the park) that I would get violently physically ill. I ruined a lot of my own birthday parties this way because my parents would need to cancel because I was so sick. I would start off with physical illness, then I'd start to get really upset (now I know these were panic attacks) and cry.
Even as an adult I have this problem from time to time. Now I am able to calm myself down, but as a kid it was a complete nightmare. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. |
Edit: Thank you so much everyone for the lovely words and support. And thank you for the silver!!! | Good to clean helps,, started this as well,, baby steps,, Therapy is great and congrats!! |
Hello fellow anxious people. Fist of all, If you have or had a shit day, I'm sorry and I hope tomorrow will be better for you. And secondly, yes, initially this was indeed another one of those essays and let me tell you I'm emotionally drained now, still anxious though of course. But instead of deleting everything because of all the "what ifs" and posting nothing at all I thought I'd finally write my first, rather unemotional, post on reddit (yay).
Also I'm procastinating important work stuff because I woke up with a lump in my throat and a nice slice of despair about my life -again- and have now literally been doing nothing but stalking the internet and pacing up and down, feeling bad about it (reasonable, yes). I know, there's not really much to answer on here and honestly, it's just one of those days I feel like an improper human being. I think I really need a very long hug.
​
Edit: paragraphs because of the wall of text (sorry, still learning)
Edit 2: Guys I'm overwhelmed by so many of you who can relate. I truly didn't think that I'd get so many answers, upvotes and even awards from you. If I'm honest I was afraid, that my post would get overlooked. But then I woke up to all the nice messages from you and I appreciate it so much!!! Thank you! I'm going to make myself coffee and read every single one of your comments now. | You should see the notes section of my phone, its full of highly emotional essays I want to send people or post but I just can't bring myself to. |
A virtual hug for everyone just trying to make today better. Take care of yourselves.
Edit: Wow! So much love! Thanks very much. I hope everyone had a fantastic day. | thank you, i’m sending you one right back 💖💖 |
Whoever needs this reminder :) I usually do | Luckily my anxiety has kept me from going to the dentist for years and enabled horrible hygiene so if I clench it hurts.
Did I win..? |
I got a job.
I actually got a job. I did applications, I did interviews, and I didn’t have a panic meltdown ONCE. I actually impressed people. I actually got MY FIRST JOB.
It’s a data entry clerk position and I can work remotely and there’s minimal social interaction besides the people on my team.
I never thought I’d be able to do this honestly. I overthink everything constantly and worry very easily and so I never thought id be able to actually handle a job.
I even opened up a bank account today for myself.
Sure, I’m anxious about starting work and worried I’m gonna be bad at it..but that’s a problem for me later. Right now im thrilled I even did it. It can get better y’all.
Edit: thank you all for all the nice comments :) | Congrats! Well done I know how good it can feel proving to yourself you can do something! This is the first step. Keep at it! You're gonna be great |
I wanted to let you know that your anxiety is wrong about you. It pretends to know who you are, but it has no idea. In fact, you prove it wrong over and over and over again, but all it can see are the handful of times it WAS right.
Keep breathing. Keep thinking kind thoughts. Cry if you like.
I hope this helps. Whoever you are, please know you aren’t the only one experiencing this. | And the same applies to you, OP. ❤️❤️❤️ |
Every time I even dare to click the add post button I end up chickening out because I’m scared of how redditors will react if I do something wrong. Is this just me being silly? | Yeah defo. I posted a picture of me at my graduation and answered questions about what I was doing and my answers got downvotes. I just answered their questions, that's it |
I know of all the cognitive distortions so I am able to realize how irrational I am, but the anxious feelings won't disappear anyways. Any tips on how to stop that? | Yeeeeeup. This is the definition of anxiety. CBD oil does help, but of course that's just temporary. Like putting a blanket over something, so I don't have to look at it. |
I struggle hard with CBT precisely because a lot of the techniques seem to focus on helping me realize my anxiety is illogical - it's like no Shit Sherlock, I knew that. Sometimes you've just got to give yourself a little grace. Your brain is working its ass off trying to protect you in a world full of 'threats'. Life is hard for an anxious brain. | The jury is still out on if she *can* fix it and on the usefulness of CBT for me, at least for my GAD - but every now and then something she says brings comfort. Medication has been a lifesaver, therapy is more like "nice to have" - very useful for panic disorder and trich, so far pretty useless for GAD so in a way it's a net neutral. |
Edit : thank you anonymous internet friend for my first gold ❤
Edit 2 : the fact that I made more than 1k people around the world feel lil better is crazy idea to think about 🙏❤ | This was at the top of my feed when I opened reddit, thanks for the nice little boost. |
I just needed to tell anyone, I feel like I finally got my shit together for the first time in a long time.
Edit: holy sh, this thread blew up ! Didn't expect that. I can't respond to everyone but thanks a lot for your support guys ! I had a cool day at work today and some of your comments were really awesome, thanks a lot ! I'll keep on doing me-stuff and having me-time as much as I can, starting today. And thanks for the 2 medals lol | Awesome! It’s the small victories that make a big difference. |
As a young and relatively healthy individual I'm not worried about contracting the virus, but I am following all CDC and WHO recommendations to prevent transmitting it to those who are more vulnerable. With every passing day I get more and more anxious about the financial and economic crisis that is developing. New reports suggest that this can go on for 12-18 months. I have some huge life events coming up and everything is in flux. What was once solid ground is now complete turmoil. | I can relate 1000000%. I just recently moved back home to be with family and got a new job around October. Everything was great and I felt like I was thriving. Fast forward to now with all the crisis going on it’s become my terrifying reality to lose my job, my apartment and everything. Everyday I wake up it’s like something new has developed. I’m just hoping this goes away soon but it’s starting to look otherwise. |
like, some people can leave their houses without fearing they’ll die, or that people they walk past in the street will think bad things about them. some people don’t overthink everything they say and do and overanalyse what other people say and do.
i just find that so strange to think about. i can’t imagine living like that. really, i wish i could live like that.
edit: i wasn’t expecting all of these responses! i’m working through them and trying to respond to as many as possible myself, but it’s taking a while. just know i’ll probably get to your comment soon :) | all the fucking time.
lately i've been dealing with these scary anxious thoughts revolving around bed bugs and public transportation - and just watching people plonk down on the bus and train seats without even hesitation or second glance makes me think "wow, must be so nice not have a care in the world about this stupid fear" i'm actually jealous of these people living their lives so care free. |
Because, anxiety. This is my first post though, so...progress? | I haven't posted anything yet cause I'm anxious that my anxiety isn't bad enough or like the kind of anxiety I get isn't relatable enough, so I start to type things and delete it cause they sound dumb. |
Hey you. Hi. You are safe in this moment. I know you are scared. It makes sense that you would be scared. You’re not crazy and there is nothing wrong with you.
Even though you are scared, you are safe. Even though you are scared, you are loved. I love you. I don’t know you, but if people can hate indiscriminately, I can love indiscriminately. I love you. There is love all around you in little, gentle ways.
When someone smiles at you, they are sharing a small bit of love. When someone lets you pass in traffic or lets you merge, they are offering you a tiny bit of love.
Every “please” and “thank you” is love. Even when something is someone’s job - such as a store clerk wishing you a good day, or the coffee shop person chatting you up per corporate policy. They are still extending love.
Accept the little moments of love.
Accept the little moments of safety, too.
Right now, in this moment in time, you are safe.
It is okay to be afraid. I still love you. Do you love you? You must.
Hold yourself, please. Do it for me. Put your arms around yourself. Pet your face gently. Tell yourself, “I love you. You are safe. It is okay to be afraid. There is nothing wrong with you. You are human and you are feeling afraid and I am here with you.”
Do not treat yourself with contempt and do not abandon yourself for being afraid. You deserve unconditional love. Stay with yourself and be kind to yourself even though you are struggling.
Tell yourself, “I will not abandon you. I will not judge you. I will not reject you just because you are afraid.”
Keep your promise to yourself.
Tell yourself “I love you, sweetheart.”
When you are ready, share a small bit of love with others. Smile to them. Say please and thank you. Wish them well. Be kind. Let them merge in traffic. Do it without expectation for something in return.
Pick up a piece of trash because you love the park. Say, “I love you park. Let me help you feel nice. It’s okay. I got this.” (Even if you just say it in your head).
Radiate love and safety. Receive love and safety.
I love you.
Pass it on. | I have insane driving anxiety and never leave my apartment but today I felt determined. The lady at Wendy's was really nice to me and gave me extra bacon and I almost cried. Made me feel motivated to try to live life more. |
Like I enjoy chatting with people in person, over the phone I don’t mind, either. With new people I get slight anxiety but it’s not crippling in any way.
However, for some reason e-correspondence really gets me. Especially talking to people who are very pushy and demanding for quick replies. I don’t always feel like answering at the moment so I’ll put it off, but then I get very anxious knowing the reply is waiting for me, and I ignore it, and it makes me more anxious thinking the person is getting angry at me, and it’s a very vicious cycle.
The only time I don’t feel this way is when I’m either very busy working (and then I use the messages as a welcome distraction) or when I take Adderall for ADHD, because then I feel very assertive and have no fear.
I think the lock down has made things worse because now I don’t go to the gym (usual fear release) and there’s no social time to replenish my mind in preparation for online messages, since they take a lot of mental effort.
I’m curious to see if anyone else experiences this, and hopefully I won’t avoid your replies 😆
=========
Edit: Lmao this post blew up, and now I have 40+ replies to read. The irony is astounding! But I am to hear everyone else’s experiences too.
I was thinking more and part of it may be due to the fact that each online message represents another demand on our time and another decision we must make. At least that’s part of the issue. And diverts from our energy when already in an inert place.
Take care of yourselves, everyone >< Gonna go take a relaxing bath after reading the replies here | I never knew this had a name!! I 100% relate to having avoidance anxiety and never heard anyone else put how I feel into words. |
Even if you have something great to post, the anxiety just completely shuts you down. I know it shouldn't matter what strangers think, and you should be able to express your opinions. Damn it's hard sometimes. How do you get over the fear of rejection to at least make an attempt?? | Wait a minute, it sounds like you already found a way to accomplish just that by making this post! ;)
You should feel good about this, OP! |
Edit: it was my 5th time total | Congratulations! 👏👏👏👏🎊🎉🎊🎊. I've had anxiety too when taking both tests (written and driving) and got my license when I was 23. |
It takes 0.01 seconds to upvote. | I try to do this often. Sometimes, I don't know what to say, or have no personal experience that's applicable. I hope that if enough people upvote, it will reach someone who can actually help the OP |
I normally deal with a lot of social anxiety, but now that wearing a mask is “normal” I feel so much safer when going out, like I blend in instead of standing out. I know wearing a mask came from something really bad, but at least something positive did come out of it
My only worry now is what I will do when masks stop being normal again... | I feel the same way. I barely think twice about being in public or wondering if everyone is staring at me or something. I used to just keep my eyes down and make sure that I didn’t look at anyone, really. But now that (most) people are wearing masks it somehow makes me feel a bit more comfortable being around strangers. But now I’m starting to honestly feel naked without my mask on. Lol. |
Be honest. I feel like alot of us do
edit: upvote if youre a queen | lmaooooo that's one of the only reasons i like wearing a mask in public. can talk to myself and no one will see |
A place where only good news is posted, please keep this a positive thread. a place we can go for some reassurance that everything will be okay. We WILL get through this.
edit: the link for this thread will be posted in the main thread, I will keep updating so save this thread to keep checking ♥️ stay healthy and wash those hands 😊
guys for the love of god stay away from twitter, fb and all the big news outlets I know it's hard but no good will come out of it
this is a good article
https://medium.com/@brandonricharda/10-reasons-to-feel-optimistic-de-spite-coronavirus-10073eae0ec4
JUST POSITIVE NEWS ABOUT COVID-19
There is so much negativity in the news about COVID-19, we want to give you all the positive news that is happening with research, clinical trials, improvements in statistics and anything that we can be positive about that you may not have seen.
Check this out guys
https://www.justgivemepositivenews.com/
AMAZINGLY GOOD NEWS!!!!!!
A Chicago hospital that tested antibodies found 30 percent of those tested had antibodies.
https://chicagocitywire.com/stories/530092711-roseland-hospital-phlebotomist-30-of-those-tested-have-coronavirus-antibody
Magnifying this percentage to the entire USA population, that would mean the death rate for the virus is 0.015 percent, about on par with the seasonal flu.
thanks
/u/logicalcreations2406 for posting this!
some really good news regarding asymptomatic spread!
Per Wuhan Health Commission, the 300 asymptomatic carrier identified by large scale PCR testing between 15/05/2020 and 01/06/2020 have had their saliva and throat swab sample taken, and these samples have undergone isolation and incubation experiment at Chinese Academy of Science Wuhan. All samples have failed to result in incubation of live virus.
Experts believe the negative result of incubation experiments with the saliva and throat swab sample point at either minuscule viral load, or non-viable viral fragments unable to cause infection. Furthermore, samples from toothbrush, drinking cups, masks, towels and other personal effects have been taken from the 300 asymptomatic carriers, all have tested negative. On top of this, 1174 close contacts of the 300 asymptomatic carriers identified have all tested negative on PCR tests. All of these point at the conclusion that the asymptomatic carriers discovered in Wuhan are not infectious.
http://www.xinhuanet.com/politics/2020-06/09/c_1126091646.htm
COVID-19 vaccine tracker
https://www.raps.org/news-and-articles/news-articles/2020/3/covid-19-vaccine-tracker | 103 year old woman recovers! https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/coronavirus-latest-103-year-old-woman-recovers-wuhan-hubei-china-a9393991.html%3famp |
✨ college ✨ | Exactly what happens to me. I did it on school and now I do it with work... |
I go through my day and no one knows how much effort it takes me to fake socializing, to fake talking to people, most people just assume I'm a bitch at first until they get to know me because I don't speak up very much but when I do, I sound confident.. but only because I FORCE myself to.
I get most things done on my checklist. I workout, I eat healthy, I have a degree, I'm in a relationship, I pay my bills, I seem like I have my shit together. But I don't. I spend most of my time over-analzying things I've said, walking around faking everything all day, worried I can't trust anyone around me and over-analzying my relationship, calling myself a loser, telling myself I'm not good enough, having PTSD flashbacks from an abusive childhood. And it's wild that no one has any idea. And I'll never let them know. Because I'm embarrassed.
So if you see someone who seems like they have their shit together or you're jealous, or you think they just don't talk to you a lot because they don't like you.. maybe consider that they are high-functioning. I think we tend to forget that depression & anxiety don't only present as not being able to get out of bed or do anything. | Thank you for posting this. I’ve gotten very good at faking it and I’ve reached my breaking point. I’m on day 10 of Zoloft and hoping for a bit of relief soon |
I've been diagnosed with GAD and have had a few pretty bad panic attacks in my life. Last night I was driving from my old apartment to my first house I just bought with the last load of my house plants (I had about 35 in the car, it's a hobby of mine).
For some reason I'm still unsure of, I started having a panic attack. My heart rate went up, the pit of my stomach dropped, I felt woozy, broke out in cold sweat, and felt extremely anxious. Right before going onto the highway, I pulled to the side off the road with my hazards on to give myself time to come down off of this panic attack. I called my partner, who was at the house, and told him I was having a panic attack and he worked with me to help me get grounded and calm.
I ended the call after about 8 minutes and told him I would call him back when I felt good to drive again. The intensity of the attack was coming in waves at this point, but it was gradually lessening. Less than 2 minutes after the call ended, someone rammed full speed into the back of my car. My car was lurched forward with an awful crunch, plant dirt and debris flew every where, I was thrown forward but my seat belt caught me. I was OFF the road to the side with my hazards on, this guy had to have somehow swerved and not seen my car to have hit me.
I had no immediate injuries, but I was terrified. I've never heard myself scream like that. The panic attack I had almost gotten under control was now replaced with absolute mayhem of fear and pure adrenaline. The guy came out of his car and approached mine, I was already on the phone with police. He kept trying to give me his license and saying he was going to give me his insurance info. I was sobbing and telling him to wait I'm on the phone with the police. He handed me his license, so I took a picture of it while trying to describe to the location to the 911 operator. He took his license and drove off without getting his insurance. He spoke not great English and I think he was terrified and didn't know what to do.
The police came with an ambulance. They took my vitals. I had no pain in my neck, back, stomach, or any where. I told the police what happened and showed them the pic of this guy's license. They were like "WTF this guy gave you his license but not his insurance and drove off?" That is a hit and run felony. I think the guy was trying to do the right thing but got scared and fled. The police caught him in about 30 mins. Turns out a car with a lot of front damage can't get very far.
My car was totaled, the back wheel was completely torn off and the back axel was twisted beyond repair. Many of my house plant's pots had shattered immediately. I had to leave half of them in the car as it got taken to an impound lot because there wasn't enough room in my friend's car who came and picked me up. I loved this car so much, it saved my fucking life. I was beside myself seeing it being towed away, broken beyond repair, with some of my beautiful house plants still in it.
I am fully covered for by insurance so they will be paying me out for the value of my car. I will be able to go to the impound lot to get the remainder of my plants and belongings.
What just strikes me as so fucking cruel was that I had a panic attack and chose to safely move off the road to not put myself or other drivers in danger, and I still got hit and my car was totaled.
I'm so grateful to still be alive and not in tjr hospital. But I'm scared about what this means for me and my anxiety moving forward. Will I have PTSD from this? Will I be scared of driving/cars moving forward? | I do not know how you will feel and experience the after effects of this. I'm not sure if my advice will help you. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the thought of how myself, my loved ones, and my dog could be injured while I am driving them around. And then I go for a few short drives to a nearby drivethrough to help normalise it in my head again.
This part I'm not sure will help, but it helps me. Tragedies can occur at any moment whether you're in a car or not. They provide such great quality of life, I'm willing to risk the danger of driving. I'm not willing to risk the danger of not driving. I can drive people to the hospital. I can drive people to school and work, and greatly improve the quality of their life.
I remind myself that cars are designed to be struck. You could have been a walking pedestrian when that car went off the road, but you were in your car. You were in the safest place you could possibly be. Your car did a good job. I'm so thankful that your car was there for you.
Your experience sounds like a really scary one. I would be quite shaken up for a while. When you get a car again, I would make your first drive to a fun place. Maybe a nearby garden centre? And you can try to look forward to it in the meantime. |
I have really bad IBS with panic-/anxiety disorder and those two combined make it extremely difficult to travel. I don't have a car so I have to use the public transport.
90% of the time when I leave the house I get the runs. Like really bad. Almost always I have to turn back, take a shit and try again. Sometimes it doesn't work and I can't go. Not even to the grocery store for example.
I've used meds (benzos) for it for a while which usually work, but whenever I try to seek help the nr1 concern is " well you gotta get rid of those pills ". I don't care a flying fuck if I'm injecting heroine if I manage to go to work, leave the house, do normal stuff.
Not even 1% of people can fathom the struggle some people have to just go buy groceries.
I've tried to seek help with this but every single time **only** thing I hear is " stop using meds ". I've used benzos 3 times in past 3 weeks. I'm improving, no one cares. I'm working on my diet and excercise, no one cares. All I hear is " stop using meds, stop using meds ". From medical professionals, family and friends.
True, meds might make it so that without them normal things become more difficult. But my goal for now is to travel to work. Any means necessary. Okay I stop meds then what ? No one gives me the step 2.
I've been unemployed for 6 months and my nr1 goal is to get a job, manage to get there and do well.
Thanks for the rant. Peace.
Edit/update:
Had a dr's appointment today. I told her several times that my only goal is to travel to work. I said very clearly that I still need help, but I didn't care if it was in a form of benzo's, other meds or therapy.
As a result she prescribed more benzo's. And psyllium seeds. Also according to her, stomach problems and panic disorder are completely unrelated and have nothing to do with eachother... sigh. | Trust me, I understand completely. How you feel, is how I have felt in the past and even now when I feel somewhat better. Doesn't take much to send me all the way back to square one and I can't leave the house.
Honestly don't listen to anyone putting you down. You do whatever you need to do. You should also feel fucking proud of yourself for going to the job interview. |
It's like a super frustrating self-fulfilling prophecy. My heart races when I'm trying to sleep and I'm drenched in sweat and I'm trembling just because I'm afraid I will be up all night. Edit: I think I'm cured because of all of the amazing advice! 💕I hope this post helps other people too! | a friend gave me the advice to not aim for sleep, but for rest.
removes a lot of tension from me. at some point I just fall asleep. |
I’m 23 and female and this was just really reaffirming
“It’s just really nice to win one.”
- Kevin Malone 😂
EDIT** GUYS I didn’t expect to get so much love and kindness from you all!! This has quite literally made my day and in the running for my month lol. These struggles are so rough and facing it everyday is really something. But; struggling does not negate your strength. We are infinite wells of resilience because we have to be, we all deserve love and kindness and warmth every single day. ❤️❤️
For reference these are my diagnoses:
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder
Panic Disorder
Body Dysmorphia
Anorexia Nervosa
PTSD from childhood emotional/physical abuse
PTSD from being raped when I was 17
PTSD from the illness and death of my mom at the age of 12
I’ve been unemployed for 6 months and my last job was in a RAMPANT environment of sexual harassment it was disgusting.
I believe in you all. Be gentle on yourself first and always. Don’t let the world and your illness rule your life. Filter what you take in and surround yourself with. Thank you all. 😊❤️ | Good job!
I haven't grocery shopped proper in a month. |
Yes we can say "oh stop blaming your parents" but the truth is, the reason why most are struggling with anxiety is because you had guardians who didn't do a good job of making you confident about yourself. Yes you can say its "genetics" but even then, nurture can either make the condition better or worse. You are raised with these people your whole life, the people that surround you growing up effect you whether you like to admit it or not. Maybe your anxious all the time because your parents would throw temper tantrums every time you made mistakes and that manifested later on in to your adulthood, maybe your anxious because you had Authoritarian parents that didn't allow you to grow socially, maybe you are genetically prone to being more anxious and the people you were raised with only enhanced that feeling etc.
All I'm saying is, it's so underrated how much parents can affect there children growing up. It can make life alot more difficult than it should be if your not raised with the right people.
To adults who are going through anxiety, yes its tougher for us but take it one step at a time. Don't compare yourself to others because they didn't live your life. They didn't face the troubles that you did, every small step you take is progress. I have a toxic family who doesn't see any of my small achievements but to me it's big. The past affects your present but it's about how you deal with it that matters. One step at a time and soon you'll be able to overcome it. | The "stop blaming your parents" crowd don't/won't understand that it's not just "my parents were mean to me" it was that the way they parented you caused neurological pathways to be programmed in your brain. The way you act now was a coping mechanism your brain developed as a child to help you survive/keep you safe. Those formed pathways don't just go away because you age.
It's not JUST anxiety, it's your perception of your level of safety and your brains TRAINED way of responding to it. |
I definitely am- my performance review is tomorrow and I'm nervous for it. I have to write a self review first today (I'll do it EOD so I'll feel more prepared when they're ready to go over it with me tomorrow). They've repeatedly told me I'm doing great but my brain is still like "but you have FLAWS so WORRY regardless"
UGH. I've been running to the bathroom a lot today. | Yes that’s normal with anxiety. I have bad diarrhea when I’m anxious :/ like I’m in the bathroom every 15 minutes. I’ve started taking gravol and anti diarrhea pills if I’m very anxious. I’m anxious all the time but the diarrhea only comes if I’m severely anxious |
My teenage son has OCD and for the last year+ his brain has been telling him that I am “infected” so he often won’t stay in the same room as me, sometimes won’t talk to me, races away from me and won’t touch things that I’ve touched.
It’s incredibly challenging and hurts my heart.
For Christmas, he said I get a hug. I could see him taking deep breaths (subtly) and preparing himself. I asked how long I could hug him and he said as long as I wanted. When I hugged him, I asked him if I could give him a kiss, too, and he said yes, so I kissed his head.
It filled my heart with so much warmth and peace and happiness and I can still feel it a couple hours later.
I truly understand anxiety and I know just how difficult this was for him. It was the most selfless and loving and special gift I could have gotten.
Also, as a side note, my older son got me an extra gift for my stocking because I’m divorced and this is my first Christmas as a single woman. (I invited their father over last year to help them with the transition, but not this year). My son wanted to be sure I had something in my stocking since my ex always did that for me.
I feel so loved by my thoughtful sons. | As an adult in my early 20’s who’s been battling with Health Anxiety OCD since I was 10, this warmed my heart. It was incredibly difficult for him to fight those intrusive thoughts and lies in his head. But he was able to fight those thoughts and won. Not only did you have a good day today receiving love from him, please understand he probably had an even better day because he just made huge progress with his battle with OCD.
I am very impressed someone at such a young age was able to shut down those thoughts for once.
Godspeed. |
Cure* | Can I get it, but with added cuddles? But only when I'm not to ocdish because my ocd doesnt like touching at times |
great thanks | Thinking about my anxiety whether I’m feeling it or not atm causes it to spike so much. I feel like I have to continuously distract myself to stay more calm, but this isn’t always best either cause then I feel like I’m not experiencing my feelings or emotions like I should. |
Currently trying to tackle this issue but its my biggest challenge. | Anxiety is the disease of broken dreams
It will prevent you from going to college or doing well in school
It will prevent job interviews, meetings, etc
It will hinder you from meeting others and dating
Make the decision today: give in to the anxiety and remain in the safe zone, or challenge it and routinely put yourself outside of your comfort zone
Do one thing each day that scares you. |
After a very anxious week I feel burnt out. Now I feel just depressed, the kind of depressive state that is tolerable.
I feel no sadness and anger, I am just tired and indifferent. My brain is so tired that I have no energy to be anxious. That kinda feels good. Without paralyzing terror I can do small things, not overly passionate, but just good enough.
My baseline is so low, that I feel happy being just depressed.
_____
Edit: I think it needs to be here, ‘Objectively, depression and anxiety both suck, sometimes **the change** from months long depression to anxiety, and vice versa, **feels better**. Then you realize it is not energy or motivation but anxiety, it is not calmness it is numbness from depression. I really hope you will get better and find help, because those changes between those two are sometimes very misleading, and can be a false promise. Do not postpone the therapy or whatever you were meaning to do or start. And change that baseline of feeling good to a higher norm’. | I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. |
Either that or they hate you. | When my husband isn't home by like 30 minutes past when he usually gets off work I start thinking he's died in a horrible car accident on the way home. But I'm afraid to text or call him in case he checks his phone while driving and gets into a horrible car accident and dies.
He's come home to me pacing a rut in the living room floor too many times, and in the last couple weeks has started texting me the minute he knows he might not make it out on time. I feel like a crazy person, but I also appreciate it so so much. |
Feeling completely drained now. Am cocooning in my room now.
Wow I love this response and all the encouragement and love. Thank you all. I am trying to respond to every comment. But it gets overwelhming. It will take time but I am reading every comment. | Wow congrats on the progress you made to finally see a therapist. Bravo! I hope future sessions will be better for you. All the best to your therapy sessions. |
One of my earliest memories is from when I was about 4 years old. While I was playing in the garden I fell over and injured my hand. My knuckle was bleeding quite a lot and I still have a scar from the injury to this day. Crying, I ran inside to my mother.
After treating my wound, she spanked me as punishment for my mistake.
If my mother had decided to give me comfort and reassurance in these kinds of situations, maybe in my adulthood, when I made a mistake, my natural response would be to try to soothe myself and calm down.
Instead, when I make a mistake, my natural response is to feel anxiety or panic, and it's really difficult for me to calm down.
I'm hoping that this realisation will be the first step towards me being able to overwrite my childhood conditioning and learn how to treat myself with acceptance and understanding. | Same. My childhood was a shit-show, and now I hate myself because I dwell on every little mistake I've ever made. |
I’ve been managing my anxiety pretty well the past few months but the last week or so I’ve been feeling like I caught a bug and am constantly tired, my chest hurts, I am incredibly moody and have a short temper, have an upset stomach, etc. I called into work sick a day too because I thought I was sick with something and felt so out of it. I attended an event yesterday I’ve been extremely worried about for the past couple weeks and the second I got in the car to leave it’s like my sickness just disappeared completely and I felt on cloud 9. It was bizarre. Could this all have been due just to the anxiety? I’ve never had this happen before but I’ve been home since and feel back to normal again. | Nausea, body aches, tension headaches, and extreme fatigue. |
this semester was literal torture | I second the "this semester was literal torture" statement. |
Thank you guys for all of your responses. This makes me feel a lot better about my current situation, and I hope you all feel a bit less alone after reading through these responses. | 100% the reason I even came onto the subreddit to see if anyone else would say this. |
Whenever I’m feeling really anxious my hearing seems super sensitive and sounds/voices can be overwhelming. When I get like this I get super irritated by people talking and loud noises. Does this happen to anyone else? Sometimes it gets to the point where I want to put in headphones to drown out the noises I can’t control. | Sensory overload. It's pretty common amongst people with anxiety, adhd, and autism to name some common ones. Bonus points if you have more than one |
Does this happen to anyone else? I actually think this sub is a great tool for cathartic sharing among people with anxiety, and I know I could derive some benefit in allowing myself to post more. But there’s some silly irony in me thinking “Well what if this gets ignored? What if people think this is dumb or invalid?”. Even right now as I type this I think “Oh yeah this is so witty and meta, this will definitely get me to the top of the sub” which is so in line with every obsession I have about being special, being great, being loved, etc — and my inability to just do or enjoy the small things for what they are without some greater sense of meaning.
EDIT: Ha, this blew up, how poetic. The joy or validation I feel from the upvotes doesn’t match the negativity I would have felt if it went unnoticed, which is good to know! You all are wonderful and this is a great community. I’ve come a long way with my anxiety and I’m working on a project to help and give back to those struggling and those who have helped me, so I hope to see you all here again. ❤️❤️❤️ | Here's an upvote from me. Don't let Reddit cause you more anxiety. Even if people don't upvote your posts or comments, doesn't mean they don't matter or aren't valuable. |
So if you’re reading this and currently in the midst of an anxiety disorder, let me start by saying I know how you feel. I’ve had panic attacks where the adrenaline rushes just don’t stop, I’ve been nauseated and unable to eat or drink for days on end, I’ve felt so short of breath it was like drowning above water, had the jitters and the lump in my throat. I’ve also had all of the uncomfortable mental symptoms. I’ve dissociated for almost a full day multiple times, I’ve had racing, intrusive thoughts that lasted weeks and sometimes months at a time. And I’ve felt like I was going crazy. A lot.
But I’m here to tell you my struggle with my anxiety disorder is over. After almost a year of conscious and concerted effort, all of the worst symptoms of my anxiety are completely gone. Some of the more mild ones still appear from time to time; I’ll get fatigued or dizzy/foggy maybe once every few weeks, but this happens so infrequently (and becomes less frequent with each occurrence) that it doesn’t really bug me. I was also on medication (an SSRI since day one and a benzo for the first few months) and am in the process of tapering off .
So I wanted to write a post about how to get over each stage of your anxiety, mainly because I know I really would have appreciated this kind of guidance when I first sought help in late April of last year. If you want a summary of things you can do regardless of what stage you’re at, scroll to the bottom and check the paragraph in bold.
I don’t discuss responses to specific symptoms here, just a general approach. If you’re looking for tactics for specific symptoms, check out the list of books I left in the second section. I think the first one does a particularly good job of addressing every symptom, but you can try the third if you don’t feel it makes enough of a difference.
Before you read, I want to mention something once so I don’t have to later on. Recovery is going to be like a rollercoaster. Some days you’ll feel like you made incredible progress, and others you’ll have difficulty even doing simple tasks. It’s going to be a lot of two steps forward, one step back. Sometimes it’ll even be two steps forward, two steps back. But even those times are okay, because they serve as proof that you are capable of improving. Just know that once you start to give effort, things will start gradually getting better.
So here it is. My comprehensive guide to recovering from an anxiety disorder.
If you’re at a constant 9/10 - 10/10 anxiety and can’t calm down:
At this stage, you’re either in the middle of panic attack (which lasts up to 60 minutes) or you have GAD and are constantly anxious. I was diagnosed with GAD and Pure-O but I’ve had maaaaaany panic attacks, so I know this advice will work for both.
**1.** Stop trying to fight your anxiety symptoms. Understand that the best thing you can do for your body right now is just let it run its course. This is the basis of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which is one of the types of therapy currently used to treat anxiety disorders. To do this:
* Don’t try to stop any symptoms you are experiencing. This is infinitely easier said than done at first, but with practice you’ll be able to pick this up fairly quickly. When I was first having constant adrenaline rushes, I kept trying to consciously stop them. This was actually making things worse. The more you try to fight your symptoms, the more worried you become, which in turn causes your system to release more of the stress-causing hormones, causing your symptoms to become worse. The best thing you can do at this point is wait it out and let your body tire itself out.
* Questions, doubts, and fear will come up. When they do, remind yourself that this is a totally normal process that your body is going through, and try to rest in the anxiety. It may be difficult, but try to ease into the symptoms. This was initially what helped my adrenaline rushes decrease in severity and frequency.
* If this isn’t working and you find your symptoms are still persisting and won’t stop, ask for more. As the DARE Response (discussed later) puts it, run towards your symptoms. If you’ve ever read a book on ACT, this step is likely in there. When you ask your body to make your symptoms worse, you’ll find it can’t. The symptoms of anxiety are driven by a subconscious worry, and not something you can control. Keep running towards it until your symptoms gradually begin to ease, then move on to step 2. In case you’re interested, the clinical term for this is “arousal reappraisal.” It’s not discussed very often, but I found it to be very helpful.
**2.** Do anything you possibly can to get your mind off of the anxiety. In older forms of anxiety treatment, this kind of thing was referred to as a distraction tactic, but in The DARE Response, Barry McDonagh calls it being “engaged.” This basically means do whatever you can to focus your mind on something other than your anxiety. Regardless of what level of anxiety you’re at, this is incredibly important. **Your anxiety is most easily fueled when you focus on it, so do whatever you can to move your attention to something else.** Again, MUCH easier said than done, and your mind will fight you at every stage. But it’s an integral part of recovery. When I first started out, I found short activities the most helpful, like picking up my guitar/cajon and playing a song or two, or doing homework.
**3.** Give it time. Your system can’t sustain anxiety levels this high for an extended period of time unless you consciously fuel it. If you are properly easing into your symptoms and engaging yourself in other activities you’ll eventually calm down to the next phase of anxiety recovery.
**4.** If recommended by your physician, a benzo might help. Benzos are basically nervous system relaxants, but they’re no magic pill. When I took my first dose of valium, I didn’t feel a thing. It took a few days of constant dosing to see any effect. Benzos are fine to use in the very beginning, but I will issue a warning about them: try to use them as sparingly as possible. Benzos are not meant to be used in the long term, and if the first thing you do when feeling anxious is reach for your benzo, you’ll have real difficulty recovering in the later stages. But since at this point, you’re in a constant state of panic, they’re a great way to ease you down to the next lowest stage of anxiety, so you can start focusing on the long term.
**5.** Journal. I don’t recommend this as much beyond this stage, as I’ve found it doesn’t really help all that much. But in the beginning stages of my experience with GAD, I found journaling to be an indispensable asset to really figure out what I was going through. Just write out whatever you’re thinking or feeling. It’s a great what to get out of your head for at least a little bit.
**6.** Get up and do something to release all your pent up adrenaline. Walk around the block, take a stretch break at work. You don’t need to be doing a full workout at this point, just something to help you use the jitters and adrenaline you’re getting for something productive.
**7.** This one may seem rather minor, but it helped me a lot in the beginning: fix your posture. It’s much easier to feel short of breath when you’re in a position that doesn’t let you breath easily. If you’re lying down, lay on your back. If you’re sitting, sit up straight.
Once you’ve thoroughly calmed down from this point (this took me about three or four weeks), you can move on to the next step.
Constant 6 - 8/10 with occasional panic attacks:
If you’re at this phase, you are probably still experiencing physical manifestations of your anxiety, like jitters, nausea, jelly legs, shortness of breath, and so on. But you’re not in constant freakout mode anymore. You can make logical decisions aimed more at long term recovery because rather than being focused on your anxiety 100% of the time, you pay attention to it 80 - 90% of the time. You may be leaving the house occasionally but your symptoms are still bad enough that they keep you at home most of the time. So here’s what to do at this stage:
**1. Start reading or listening to books on what you’re going through**. The more you understand the subtleties of what’s going on in your brain and body, the better you’ll be able fix them. Read up on therapy techniques as they’ll be your quickest route to recovery. In the end, this ended up being the single most helpful thing for my recovery. When you’re knowledgeable of exactly what is at your disposal, you can try everything and see what works best for you. In fact, I found really helpful ideas in books that none of my therapists had even heard of. Like your anxiety, the list of books that will be the most helpful for you is very personalized, but here are my recommendations (all of these books are available on Audible, which is how I consumed them):
* The DARE Response. Phenomenal book written by someone who’s been through the worst parts of anxiety and paved his own path to recovery. His techniques are a combination between ACT and a little CBT. I would especially recommend this book if you’re at the higher end of the anxiety scale.
* Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. This book is considered the gold standard of CBT. It’s aimed at treating depression, but (as the author notes) it works for anxiety as well. I listened to the whole thing, then picked out the chapters I thought applied to me. It’s long, so I don’t think you need to do the first part, but there’s a lot of valuable information in this book that a lot of other books skim over.
* Rewire Your Anxious Brain. This one is 1/4 CBT, 1/4 lifestyle guidance, and half about the neuroscience behind anxiety. I like this one a lot because it gets into some of the mechanics of why we feel the way we do, and why therapy and lifestyle changes are so impactful.
* The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. This one has been mentioned on this subreddit several times before, and I really like it. It serves as a great reminder of why some things in life just aren’t worth giving a fuck about. Fair warning: Mark Manson describes OCD as “an incurable disease” in this book. He’s not a doctor or therapist and isn’t really knowledgeable on the subject, so I’d take that section with a grain of salt. But the message he drives home at the end is really good regardless.
Remember, the point of these books isn’t to give you step by step instructions on how to get better. Rather they are there to give you ideas on how to best help yourself.
**2.** Get into therapy. This is perhaps the second most important things you can do for yourself behind reading. Therapy is the first line of treatment for anxiety, and for good reason. Once you find a therapist who you work well with, you’ll notice you progress much more quickly. Some things to look out for when you screen your therapist:
* Are they nice? Kind of an obvious one but worth going over. Do you feel like they take what you’re saying seriously? Are their answers usually thoughtful and caring?
* Are they experienced? My first therapist was tremendously nice and caring, but he didn’t know much about anxiety treatment beyond the very basics, like square breathing.
* Are they accessible? Or do you have to drive two hours to see them? Are they available for weekly sessions or can you only see them once a month?
It may take a while until you find a therapist who’s right for you, but this is a person you’ll be meeting with multiple times a month for several months/years. I would advise giving your therapist at least three or four sessions before you consider switching to a new one.
**3.** Continue with all the acceptance techniques outlined in the previous section. These are things that I remind myself of even now. The more open you are towards your anxiety symptoms, the more quickly they’ll dissipate. In addition, if you can, start easing off your benzo a little bit. If you’re taking it three times a day, try to move down to two. If you’re down to two a day, try one.
**4.** Start making some lifestyle changes that are proven to help with anxiety in the long term:
* Cardiovascular exercise. It’s said that exercise is one of the most positive things to improve mood when you’re anxious, but I’d like to look at it from the opposite perspective. When you’re anxious, your body is filled with excess adrenaline that keeps building up. If you don’t dump it out somehow, the symptoms will inevitably get worse. So getting up from your desk or your bed is one of the most effective things you can do to help yourself in the long term. If you’re not super exercise savvy, my suggestion is to get out and walk, jogging occasionally. Walking is great for releasing excess energy, but you can boost the speed at which you let off adrenaline by running. You don’t need to do sprints whenever you run, but you’ll get the most out of your exercise if you really challenge yourself each time. More on this later.
* Meditation. The reason so many people say this is so good for anxiety is because it helps you better come to terms with your symptoms. It also lets you really hone in on some of the less productive thought processes you’re having so you can learn to catch and correct them. Keep in mind, the purpose of meditation is not to clear your mind and think of nothing. In fact, it’s almost the opposite. While meditating, your job is to let your body and brain work as normal and merely try to act as a conscious observer of all your thoughts and feelings. A really popular visualization technique for this is thinking of your thoughts as clouds, and you’re just watching them pass by. There is plenty of information out there on how to meditate, and it includes helpful techniques like noting, so I won’t go into it that much here. Make sure that your approach to meditation is similar to your approach to exercise: slowly ease into it by doing it for short periods at first, then working up very gradually to longer periods after every couple sessions. I suggest trying out the meditation app Calm.
* Diet. If you’re reading this, you’ve probably read the do’s and don’ts of your diet about a hundred times, but I’ll reiterate quickly here: no caffeine, no alcohol. Try your best to avoid excessive sweets and fried foods, and those are shown [1] to worsen your mood in the long term. One of the less known changes you can make to your diet is to include more natural sources of magnesium. It is speculated [2] that magnesium plays a part in anxiety regulation, though the research isn’t entirely there yet. Regardless, try to include dark leafy greens like spinach and whole grains like brown rice into your diet to hit this as a staple. You can also take a magnesium supplement (I’ll defer to the DARE Response for information about it), though again, research is shaky so this alone won’t bring change.
* Medication. This one will be completely at you/your doctor’s discretion. Some people respond well to antidepressants, some don’t. I didn’t feel like they helped me all that much, but you might. Note, the purpose of antidepressants isn’t to make you happy or to gradually cure your anxiety. Research shows [3] that antidepressants are useful for supplementing long term change in the brain. This is a REALLY important thing to note because it means that antidepressants won’t change anything on their own. Only if you give conscious effort will you be able to see positive change. Medication only makes it happen more quickly.
**5.** Give it time. Your nervous system doesn’t change overnight. It may need a week or two more before you achieve the results you want. So just keep practicing your therapy techniques and doing everything you know works and push through.
Once you’ve been at these things for a while, you’ll notice your anxiety start to decrease to the next phase.
Hovering around 4 - 6:
If you’re at this stage, congratulations! The first two stages are really hard to break out of, and if you did, it likely took a tremendous amount of effort. So give yourself a pat on the back. Once you’ve reached this stage, your anxiety likely doesn’t manifest itself physically as much. You may still get nauseated occasionally, but most of the time you’re able to eat and drink and (hopefully) sleep through the night. You’ve started reclaiming your normal life. You get out of the house relatively frequently and do things like run errands. But you’re still really anxious whenever you go out. In addition, though your physical symptoms may have eased up, your mental symptoms may still be incredibly difficult to deal with. So here’s what you should do at this stage:
**1.** Keep staying the course. It’s easy to flounder or stop, and it’s okay if you do. But remember to pick up right where you left off. Also, don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes. Everyone falters from time to time, it’s part of what makes us human. And it’s okay if things are taking longer than you expected. Take it from me that if you keep looking for ways you can improve your anxiety and practicing the techniques you know work, things will get better.
**2.** Keep pushing the envelope. Identify areas of your life that you’ve always been anxious about and challenge yourself to use therapy techniques to improve them. I used to beat myself up for being awkward ever since I was a little kid. I’d find flaws in every interaction I had with others and nitpick every little thing. Once I started working on this, I noticed not only an improvement in these kinds of situations, but also an improvement in my overall anxiety. This is part of how Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy works. You expose yourself to situations that make your anxiety flare up, and use CBT techniques to curb your conscious worry. An important note about this is **these experiences aren’t meant to be fun**. If you’ve got social anxiety and you’re challenging yourself by going to meet new people, it’ll likely be an uncomfortable experience the first few times. People around you may be having plenty of fun while you keep worrying and criticizing yourself. But you’ll slowly notice improvement, and with time, it’ll become more and more natural over time.
**3.** Along the same lines, start making your workouts more difficult. Run/bike/swim for longer, lift heavier weights. When you’re anxious, you tend to stagnate in certain areas of your life, sometimes without realizing it. The only way to get better is to keep pushing the bounds of what you do. I saw a post on this subreddit a while ago along the lines of “I’ve been lightly jogging for 25 minutes a day for the last month or two, why aren’t I seeing my anxiety improve?” And the answer in this case is because this person wasn’t pushing him/herself. If you continue to do the same things, you shouldn’t expect to see improvement.
**4.** Start identifying and cutting off some of your crutches/unhealthy habits. For a lot of us (me included), this comes in the form of googling symptoms or constantly asking for help on this subreddit. It’s okay to cave every once in a while at this stage, but you need to consciously stop yourself from constantly asking for help on the internet. One of the things this does is keep you focused on your anxiety, which is exactly what engaging yourself is meant to prevent. I stopped browsing this subreddit for almost a half year, and my condition got much better as a result. If you’re seriously concerned about something, visit your doctor/psychiatrist/therapist and ask them, but once they diagnose you, do not second guess it. I spent my entire college career going to different doctors (I think at least 10 or 11 different types, sometimes multiple doctors of each kind). I was convinced there was something wrong with me that no one could find, but the true culprit was anxiety. If you **feel** like you’re constantly sick or dying, yet doctors can’t find anything wrong, this is a clue that you have an issue with being a hypochondriac. You can go about fixing this the way you did in all areas of your therapy (I personally used the CBT method outlined in Feeling Good), but the important thing is to recognize that just because your brain is telling you something doesn’t mean it’s true.
**5.** Give it time. I’ve said it before but it’s important to reiterate. Recovering from this stage might take several months, so try your best to be patient. And remember, if things aren’t the way you want them to be now, they will be soon.
I think it’s also important to discuss the idea of **cognitive fusion**, which you may have come across in your book reading, as I think understanding it will be really helpful. Google defines cognitive fusion as attaching a thought to an experience, but since that’s kind of vague, I’ll give my own definition. Cognitive fusion is when you take what your thoughts tell you as fact. In other words, you’re using your thoughts to draw irrational conclusions about the world around you. One example of this is if you’re someone who criticizes themselves too much. You might tell yourself “that conversation was so awkward, so that person must think I’m a loser.” In this case, whether or not the situation was awkward, you don’t know what the other person is thinking. I used to think this a lot until I realized people really didn’t see me that way, and all the worrying I did was for nothing. A healthy level of questioning can do lots to help you overcome your anxiety.
At this stage, I had the most trouble with mental symptoms, namely the feeling of going crazy. I thought the little floaters in my eyes were hallucinations, I always second guessed my own sanity, I thought the weird dreams or intrusive thoughts I was having were a sign of schizophrenia, and anytime I was happy, I thought it was a sign of bipolar disorder. This is another great example of cognitive fusion that took me a while to get over: I thought I was going crazy, so to me that was evidence that I really was. If you think this describes you, it might do you well to get into the habit of questioning your thoughts as well. Is it more logical that your psychiatrist, therapists, family, and friends are correct when they say you’re not crazy and are just experiencing symptoms of anxiety, or that you’re the one person out of the fifty who’s somehow figured out you’re losing it? This applies to basically every anxious situation you may encounter. Remember: **just because you think something doesn’t make it true**.
One of the things that took me a long time to realize was that my constant worry over these things was caused by the fact that I was paying so much attention to them. At this point in recovery, it’s absolutely **imperative that you keep yourself occupied, especially when you’re most anxious**. I found that doing things like cooking and cleaning were ways to keep my mind off my anxiety without having to think about it. I suggest doing the same, as they’re both productive and beneficial in the end. Eventually, your mind will calm down on its own and you’ll find your own solutions to these symptoms. I find that at this point the really important thing really is time. Once I felt like I was going crazy for the hundredth time, I realized that if every time before this one was a false alarm, this one (and all the ones after for that matter) are false alarms too. This stage took about 3 months to recover from, but once I did, I hit the next stage.
Anxiety is 1 - 3 most days, with some days feeling almost completely anxiety free:
You’re in the home stretch. This is it. You’re likely already giving yourself credit for all the hard work you’ve done, but you should still take a moment to recognize just how far you’ve come. For me, having a day where I go out and try something new with friends while anxious is something I wouldn't have been able to do even BEFORE my anxiety disorder. Certainly not anything I’d ever dreamed of while in the thick of it. Seriously, if you’ve hit this point, the light should be at the end of the tunnel. And on the days where it’s a little harder to deal with, let me reassure you: you’re almost home free.
Note: your symptoms will still be present at this point. Some of the intrusive thoughts might still come, sometimes you’ll have a bit of dissociation or an occasional almost-panic attack, but you know how to deal with these things. Your moments of panic don’t last more than a few seconds, and your symptoms don’t really illicit a response from you. At this stage:
**1.** You know what works best for you. Keep doing it. You have your techniques and you’ve clearly demonstrated they work. All that’s left is to keep doing them and reap the rewards you know will come. On the worse days when your anxiety peaks at a 3 or 4, remind yourself where you were several months ago and how you’ll never experience anxiety that bad ever again. Then gently engage yourself in something and ride the wave of anxiety until it subsides.
**2.** Slowly lose your crutches. If you discuss your anxiety with your friends, stop doing so as frequently and eventually stop altogether. If you’re still occasionally taking benzos, slowly taper off. The more of your independence you get back, the more confident you’ll feel.
**3.** Keep exploring other areas of your life where you’ve had anxiety and use what you’ve learned to stop worrying. For me, this meant things like conquering my fear of heights by going snowboarding, and confronting my discomfort with physical and emotional intimacy by going out of my way to discuss these things. The more of these long-standing anxieties you’re able to ease, the better you’ll feel overall. Plus you get the added sense of achievement for doing things that past you would’ve never been able to do.
There really isn’t much left to say at this stage. I found myself being discouraged more frequently at this point just because I knew I was so close to the finish line but not quite there. In case you need any encouragement, remind yourself of how well you’ve done so far and that there’s more to come.
Then finally…
No anxiety, with the worst days peaking at a 0.5 or 1:
That’s it. All the voices in your head telling you you’re not good enough have gone silent. All those symptoms you used to worry so much about don’t really happen anymore. You might still be a bit fatigued or foggy some days, but most of the time you’re energetic, present, and can confront new challenges with a sense of confidence you’ve never had. It’s been a few months since you’ve even given your anxiety a second thought. You know some of your symptoms might come back for a short spell every once in a while, but you’re not worried about them. You know exactly what to do when that happens, and that they’ll go away just as quickly as they came.
I don’t have any advice for this point. You know what got you here and have built up the mental fortitude to know you’ll keep on doing it.
Congratulations. You understand how amazing it is that you got to this point. Remember this feeling.
_
My therapist once gave me a great rule of thumb I think sums things up really well: whatever your anxiety is telling you to do, do the opposite. If it’s telling you not to get out of bed, do it. If it’s telling you not to go to a social event, do that. If it’s telling you you’re going to suffer from some grave illness, remind yourself that’s not true. If it’s telling you to google your symptoms or ask for help, don’t. If it’s telling you you’re losing your mind, remind yourself you’re not. Give it enough time, and eventually things will get better.
**Summary:**
**Ease into your symptoms. Remember that it’s just anxiety and can’t do anything other than make you uncomfortable. You’ve been through this a hundred times before and survived every single time.**
**Don’t fight it. When you fight your anxiety, it only gets worse. So let your anxiety do whatever it wants and just watch as a detached observer.**
**Keep yourself occupied. The more time you spend thinking about your anxiety, googling your symptoms, posting on this subreddit, writing in your journal, or just stewing in general, the worse off you’ll be. Cook, clean, dance, exercise, paint, draw, do anything you can to forcibly rip your mind off your anxiety.**
**Keep pushing the bounds of what you’re doing. Expose yourself to more anxiety. Exercise harder. Try things you’ve never tried before. Make your anxiety flare up as much as possible because you know it’ll only benefit you in the end.**
**Regularly question your thoughts. Just because you think something doesn’t make it true. You’ll find a hundred times out of a hundred the thing you’ve been dreading isn’t half as horrible as your brain has made it out to be.**
**Give it time. You’ll find once you experience the same anxiety for the same reason for the thousandth time in a row that it becomes a bit easier to stop believing what it tells you.**
Thank you for reading this. I really hope that, no matter where you’re at in life, you gained something from this. Please let me know what parts of this were the most helpful, or if there’s anything you want me to expand upon. I’ll try to respond to comments as best I can, but I work full time and don’t log into this account all that much, so I’m sorry if I don’t get to your comment as quickly as you’d like.
Sources:
1. https://www.everydayhealth.com/news/ways-food-affects-your-mood/
2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201106/magnesium-and-the-brain-the-original-chill-pill
3. Listed in Rewire Your Anxious Brain. Sorry I don’t have the citation offhand.
Books:
https://www.amazon.com/Dare-Anxiety-Stop-Panic-Attacks/dp/0956596258
https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336
https://www.amazon.com/Rewire-Your-Anxious-Brain-Neuroscience/dp/B012ZMUNIE/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1517895844&sr=1-1&keywords=rewire+your+anxious+brain
https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/B01I29Y344/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1517895860&sr=1-1&keywords=the+subtle+art+of+not+giving+a+f
https://www.amazon.com/When-Panic-Attacks-Drug-Free-Anxiety/dp/076792083X/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1518049901&sr=8-4&keywords=david+burns
https://www.amazon.ca/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841
Edit: Sorry if the formatting is a little funky.
Edit 2: Thank you guys for the overwhelmingly positive response! I've read all of your comments and am super happy ya'll found this helpful. I want to remind all of you who are currently going through bouts of anxiety that you absolutely will make it through and that you'll be a much better person for it.
Keep in mind: anxiety does not define you. An anxiety disorder is not a permanent condition. Much like any other illness or disorder, you can take gradual steps to recover. It may not come as quickly as you want and you will encounter plenty of pitfalls. But once you start counting your victories, however small, you'll realize what a **huge** difference your efforts can make.
Good luck guys :)
Edit 3: Tossed another David Burns book (author of Feeling Good), **When Panic Attacks**, up in the book list. Thanks u/PM10inPAYPAL4LULZ. Also fixed some formatting issues.
Edit 4: Thanks again for all the support everyone. I'm glad people are still managing to find this post even though it was written almost a half year ago. I tossed a book recommended by u/andrelolzi up on the list in case anyone is looking for more resources. | I wish i could upvote this 1000 times! Thank you so much! Ive never seen such a solid plan of overcoming anxiety |
You know who you are. You’re me, obsessively refreshing the worldnews and politics thread because you can’t sleep and you can’t stop thinking about it.
And then you’re thinking about Australia and the fires, or the flu going around, or how your stomach has been in knots today and you didn’t eat dinner and now taking a shower seems impossible because there’s so much happening and you need to know what’s going to happen next.
I want you to know you’re not alone, no matter what happens. I may not know you, but I am right there with you, and we can share this together. No matter what happens.
Sending you all so many hugs.
---
Dear everyone,
I am writing to let you know I am reading each and every single one of your comments. I made this post because I saw many posts talking about how scared folks are. Truth be told, I am scared too. I'm scared everyday. That's life with anxiety. Sometimes it is really small and it feels like I can just "ignore" it and put it in my back pocket, and sometimes it is really huge and like a gigantic elephant stomping around in my brain.
I recognize the tendency in myself to get caught up in negative feedback loops (including obsessively reading about horrible things and obsessing over current events) and decided I would post something somewhat different for us because sometimes, just being honest, coming to /r/anxiety can leave me feeling a bit more anxious, lol.
Whatever the case, I want to thank you all once again for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings. It is good to know we're not alone. There are so many of us out there who want to see good things come out in the world. I want to share a passage that is comforting to me when things become difficult, and hope maybe it will be of some small comfort to y'all as well.
>"The life of Man is a long march through the night, surrounded by invisible foes, tortured by weariness and pain, towards a goal that few can hope to reach, and where none may tarry long. One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish from our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent Death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to strengthen failing courage, to instil faith in hours of despair. Let us not weigh in grudging scales their merits and demerits, but let us think only of their need--of the sorrows, the difficulties, perhaps the blindnesses, that make the misery of their lives; let us remember that they are fellow-sufferers in the same darkness, actors in the same tragedy as ourselves. And so, when their day is over, when their good and their evil have become eternal by the immortality of the past, be it ours to feel that, where they suffered, where they failed, no deed of ours was the cause; but wherever a spark of the divine fire kindled in their hearts, we were ready with encouragement, with sympathy, with brave words in which high courage glowed."
- Bertrand Russell, A Free Man's Worship | Thank you. The world just seems so overwhelming and awful at the moment. But I know we can get through it, and you can too. |
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