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Arlo Guthrie
I Ride On Old Pain
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I ride an old paint, I lead an old dan I'm goin' to Montana to throw the hoolihan They feed in the coulees, they water in the draw Their tails are all matted, their backs are all raw Chorus: Ride around little dogies, ride around them slow For the fiery and snuffy are rarin' to go Old Bill Jones had a daughter and a son One went to college, the other went wrong His wife, she got killed in a poolroom fight But still he's a-singin' from mornin' till night Chorus When I die, take my saddle from the wall Place it on my old pony, lead him out of his stall Tie my bones to my saddle and turn our faces to the West And we'll ride the prairie we love the best Chorus I ride an old paint, I lead an old dan I'm goin' to Montana to throw the hoolihan They feed in the coulees, they water in the draw Their tails are all matted, and their backs are all raw Chorus
Arlo Guthrie
Jacob's Ladder
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We are climbing Jacob's ladder We are climbing Jacob's ladder We are climbing Jacob's ladder Brothers, sisters, all Every rung goes higher and higher Every rung goes higher and higher Every rung goes higher and higher Brothers, sisters, all We are dancing Sarah's circle We are dancing Sarah's circle We are dancing Sarah's circle Sisters, brothers, all Every round a generation Every round a generation Every round a generation Sisters, brothers, all We are climbing Jacob's ladder We are climbing Jacob's ladder We are climbing Jacob's ladder Brothers, sisters, all
Arlo Guthrie
Jamaica Farewell
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Down the way where the nights are gay And the sun shines daily on the mountain top I took a trip on a sailing ship And when I reached Jamaica I made a stop [CHORUS:] But I'm sad to say, I'm on my way Won't be back for many a day My heart is down, my head is turning around I had to leave a little girl in Kingston town Sounds of laughter everywhere And the dancing girls swaying to and fro I must declare that my heart is there Though I've been from Maine to Mexico [CHORUS] Down at the market you can hear Ladies cry out while on their head they bear Ackie rice and salt fish is nice And the rum is good any time of year [CHORUS] [CHORUS]
Arlo Guthrie
John Looked Down
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[CHORUS:] Lying on the side of the road Feeling like he heard a sound Shivered with the feelin' that he knowed John looked down, John looked down John looked down the long, long road She gave John a present that was fine So fine that he had to go Went to see what it was that he knowed John looked down, John looked down John looked down the long, long road And I know it's hard But what did you expect of her? John looked down If you see the lady in your mind Even in her nothingness Standing through the darkest night And the people want to fight But first ask if it's all right John looked down, John looked down John looked down the long, long road [CHORUS] And I know it's hard But what did you expect of her? John looked down
Arlo Guthrie
Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream
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Words and music by Ed McCurdy Last night I had the strangest dream I'd ever dreamed before I dreamed the world had all agreed To put an end to war I dreamed I saw a mighty room Filled with women and men And the paper they were signing said They'd never fight again And when the paper was all signed And a million copies made They all joined hands and bowed their heads And grateful pray'rs were prayed And the people in the streets below Were dancing 'round and 'round While swords and guns and uniforms Were scattered on the ground Last night I had the strangest dream I'd never dreamed before I dreamed the world had all agreed To put an end to war.
Arlo Guthrie
Last To Leave
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Lonely sunshine, days come easy, Spend my time alone at rest, And if I were the last to leave here, Now would these roads be any less? Oh, I'm the last to leave. Now would these ribbon highway roads Be less wonderful to me? Why must I always be so slow? Many friends come and go, You know there's a lot of feelings that I've left behind, And it's a lonely world, I know, When your friends are hard to find. But take the time, my memory fails, And soak my eyes in the morning rain, Like a sailor, sailing over Jordan, On the road back home again. Oh, I'm the last to leave. Would these ribbon highway roads Be less wonderful to me? Why must I always be so slow?
Arlo Guthrie
Last Train
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I want to hop on the last train in the station Won't need to get yourself prepared When you're on that last train for glory You'll know you're reasonably there Maybe you ain't walked on any highway You've just been flyin' in the air But if you're on that last train to glory You'll know you must have paid your fare Maybe you've been lying down in the jailhouse Maybe you are hungry and poor Maybe your ticket on the last train to glory Is the stranger who is sleeping on your floor I ain't a man of constant sorrow I ain't seen trouble all day long We are only passengers on the last train to glory That will soon be long, long gone I want to hop on the last train in the station Won't need to get yourself prepared When you're on the last train to glory You'll know you're reasonably there
Arlo Guthrie
Lay Down Little Doggies
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CHORUS: LAY DOWN, LITTLE DOGGIES, LAY DOWN WE'VE BOTH GOT TO SLEEP ON THE COLD, COLD GROUND THE WINDS BLOWIN' COLDER AND THE SUN'S GOIN' DOWN LAY DOWN, LITTLE DOGGIES, LAY DOWN WE HIT THIS OLD BEEF TRAIL JUST TWO MONTHS AGO WE BLISTERED IN THE SUN AND WE FROZE IN THE SNOW IN TEN DAYS WE'RE COMIN TO A PACKING HOUSETOWN SO LAY YOURSELVES DOWN, LITTLE DOGGIES, LAY DOWN THIS DODGE CITY TRAIL SHE'S A HARD ROAD TO GO UP THE TEXAS FLATLANDS THROUGH OLD MEXICO I GOT DUST IN MY EYES AND MUD IN MY NOSE SO LAY YOURSELVES DOWN, LITTLE DOGGIES, LAY DOWN CHORUS THAT BAD HOLE OF WATER WE DRUNK AND GOT SICK CURLED UP OUT HAIR, TIED OUR TAILS BACK IN KINKS WE GOT LOST IN A BLIND CANYON, TIPPY-TOEIN' AROUND SO LAY YOURSELVES DOWN, LITTLE DOGGIES, LAY DOWN HERE NOW WE COME TO THE END OF OUR TRAIL YOUR HAIR, HIDE AND CARCASS TO THE STOCKYARDS I SELL I'LL SEE YOU IN A TIN CAN WHEN YOU GET SHIPPED AROUND SO LAY YOURSELVES DOWN, LITTLE DOGGIES, LAY DOWN CHORUS
Arlo Guthrie
Living Like A Legend
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Coming down the highway, running like a wind Gonna beat the sunset to the coast and back again Moving through the shadows, almost going blind Living like a legend before my time If the road don't kill me, baby, I'll see you in the spring Making up for lost time between us seems like everything If I can make it home alright, you know, I'll treat you fine Living like a legend before my time I know, it wasn't easy for you, baby With your man out on the road So I'll be coming home tomorrow To try to help you carry the load I'm running out of highways and bridges to burn This kind of living is taking its toll on what I've learned You know, it ain't easy leaving you behind Living like a legend before my time But someday, baby, I'll be coming home to stay Wrapped up in your warm love every night and every day Ooh, I'm going out of my mind Living like a legend before my time I know, it wasn't easy for you, baby With your man out on the road So I'll be coming home tomorrow To try to help you carry the load I'll be getting up early 'cause I know, I'm coming home I'm so tired of living this legend life alone Kick off your shoes, babe, we'll drink a little wine Forget about living like a legend before my time Forget about living like a legend Just forget about the road So, look out for me, darling On account of your man is coming home
Arlo Guthrie
Lord Grenville
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Go and tell Lord Grenville that the tide is on the turn It's time to haul the anchor up and leave the land astern We'll be gone before the dawn returns Like voices onthe wind. Go and tell Lord Grenville that our dreams have run aground There's nothing here to keep us in this shanty town None of us are caring where we're bound Like voices on the wind. And come the day you'll hear them saying "They're throwing it all away" Nothing more to say Just throwing it all away. Go and fetch the captain's log and tear the pages out We're on our way to nowhere now, can't bring the helm about None of us are left in any doubt We won't be back again. Send a message to the fleet, they'll search for us in vain We won't be there among the reaches of the Spanish Main Tell the ones we left home not to wait We won't be back again. And come the day you'll hear them saying "They're throwing it all away" Nothing more to say Just throwing it all away. Our time is just a point along a line That runs forever with no end I never thought that we would come to find Ourselves upon these rocks again. Go and tell Lord Grenville that the tide is on the turn...
Arlo Guthrie
Lovesick Blues
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By Irving Mills and Cliff Friend I got a feelin' called the blues, Since my baby said good-bye Lawd I don't know what l'll do All I do is sit and sigh That last long day she said goodbye Well Lawd, I thought I would cry She'd do me, she'd do you, She's got that kind of lovin' Lawd, I love to hear her When she calls me sweet daddy Such a beautiful dream I hate to think it's all over I lost my heart it seems I've grown so used to you somehow But I'm nobody's sugar daddy now And I'm lonesome, I got the lovesick blues I'm in love, I'm in love with a beautiful gal That's what's the matter with me I'm in love, I'm in love with a beautiful gal But she don't care about me Lawd I tried and tried to keep her satisfied But she just wouldn't stay So now that she is leavin' This is all I say...
Arlo Guthrie
Manzanillo Bay
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Words and music by Robb (Rabbitt) MacKay Some times when the sun goes down And I'm lost in some other town My thoughts may drift away To Manzanillo Bay And I can see a fisherman His day's catch Iying on the sand Underneath the palms that sway Over Manzanillo Bay CHORUS: Now I'm missing your silver moon Black sands and your blue lagoon Some day I would like to be Back next to your shining sea Drinking rum from a conch shell Caught up in your magic spell Some day I would like to go Back down to Mexico I remember your fields of cane Your warm breezes and jungle rains And watching the children play Over Manzanillo Bay And out in your market square The women sing out to sell their wares I've got fresh shrimp today From Manzanillo Bay CHORUS And under the spell of night The bay reflecting the harbor light You can hear the guitar play Over Manzanillo Bay And if you're thinking about romance And you're willing to take a chance Just pick any small cafe In Manzanillo Bay CHORUS Some times when the sun goes down And I'm lost in some other town My thoughts may drift away To Manzanillo Bay
Arlo Guthrie
Massachusetts
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Like a dream in the night As the snow settles white There's a fire burning bright In Massachusetts And there's a house upon a hill That keeps us from the chill And by the grace of God We will be in Massachusetts You can tell me about the times you spent In the Rockies and on the plains Please don't think that I'm the last to say That there ain't lots of other places In this world that still remain Beautiful and unchanged But they're just not the same The sun comes up to meet the dawn And there's a day that must go on There's another night that's gone In Massachusetts And I could spend all of my days And remain each day amazed At the way each day is phrased In Massachusetts You can tell me about the times you spent In the Rockies and on the plains Please don't think that I'm the last to say That there ain't lots of other places In this world that still remain Beautiful and unchanged But they're just not the same Now if you could only see I know you would agree There ain't nowhere else to be Like Massachusetts And there's a house upon a hill That keeps us from the chill And by the grace of God We will be in Massachusetts Come on tell me about the time you spent In the Rockies and on the plains And please don't think that I'm the last to say That there ain't lots of other places In this world that still remain Beautiful and unchanged But they're just not the same as Massachusetts
Arlo Guthrie
Miss The Mississippi And You
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I'm growing tired of the big city lights Tired of the glamor, tired of the sights In all my dreams, I am roaming once more Back to my home on the old river shore I am sad and weary far away from home Miss the Mississippi and you dear Days are dark and dreary everywhere I roam Miss the Mississippi and you Roaming the wide world over Always along and blue, so blue Nothing seems to cheer me under heaven's dome Miss the Mississippi and you Memories are bringing happy days of yore Miss the Mississippi and you dear Mocking birds are singing 'round the cabin door Miss the Mississippi and you Roaming the wide world over Always alone and blue Longing form my homeland, muddy water shore Miss the Mississippi and you
Arlo Guthrie
Mystic Journey
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Words and music by James Rider Just me and a friend roamin' around Him a magician and I was a clown Playin' the streets for a dollar a day Waitin' for the right time and a sign to lead the way Crossed over the border to a mystical land Sort of unexpected didn't quite understand On a razor's edge on a grain of sand Onward we wandered to the gates of oblivion On a roll of the dice we headed out west Where the sage and and the spice attracted us Shadows fell down like a dark groping hand Saw the teeth of the wolves and the blood of the lambs On a turn of the cards I lightened my load Throwing off fear for the weakness it holds On target and calm the vision was clear Beyond the mirage I took for granted was here On a flip of the coins we rode the coast Tryin' to make the most of every situation That we witnessed near at hand On a drifter's crusade all over the land Could it be in the stars in the passing of cars At a table in the bar in a turn of the cards In a change of your mind in the passing of time In a ribbon of rhyme just down the line Just me and a friend roamin' around Him a magician I was a clown Playin' the streets for a dollar a day Waitin' for the right time and a sign to lead the way
Arlo Guthrie
Now And Then
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Hello again the mornin' dawn has burned away The midnight mist Now and then I feel so fine And now and then I don't feel lonely Now and then and only in my mind I want to go outside today go away, I think I'll stay Now and then I talk with you And now and then you turn me on Now and then and when I don't feel blue Maybe I could tell you now that I really love you Pleased to understand that you are there, in the air Now and then you turn me on Now and then you must be gone Now and then I said Say so long, now and forever then
Arlo Guthrie
Oklahoma Hills
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Many a month has come and gone Since I've wandered from my home In those Oklahoma hills Where I was born Many a page of my life has turned Many lessons I have learned And I feel like in those hills Where I belong Way down yonder in the Indian nation Ridin' my pony on the reservation In the Oklahoma hills where I was born Way down yonder in the Indian nation A cowboy's life is my occupation In the Oklahoma Hills where I was born But as I sit here today Many mile's I am away From the place I rode my pony Through the draw Where the oak and black-jack trees Kiss the playful prairie breeze And I feel back in those hills Where I belong Now as I turn life a page To the land of the great Osage In those Oklahoma hills Where I was born Where the black oil rolls and flows And the snow white cotton grows And I feel like in those hills Where I belong
Arlo Guthrie
Patriot's Dream
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Words and music by Arlo Guthrie Living now here but for fortune Placed by fate's mysterious schemes Who'd believe that we're the ones asked To try to rekindle the patriot's dreams Arise sweet destiny, time runs short All of your patience has heard their retort Hear us now for alone we can't seem To try to rekindle the patriot's dreams Can you hear the words being whispered All along the American stream Tyrants freed the just are imprisoned Try to rekindle the patriot's dreams Ah but perhaps too much is being asked of too few You and your children with nothing to do Hear us now for alone we can't seem To try to rekindle the patriot's dreams
Arlo Guthrie
Percy's Song
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Bad news, bad news, come to me where I sleep Turn, turn, turn again Sayin' one of my friends is in trouble deep Turn, turn to the wind and the rain Tell me the trouble, tell me once to my ears Turn, turn, turn again Juliet prison for ninety-nine years Turn, turn to the wind and the rain A crash on the highway threw a car into a field Turn, turn, turn again There were four people killed and he was at the wheel Turn, turn to the wind and the rain But I knew him as well as I know my own self Turn, turn, turn again And he wouldn't harm a life that belonged to someone else Turn, turn to the wind and the rain That may be so said the judge from the side of his mouth Turn, turn, turn again But the witness who saw it, he left little doubt Turn, turn to the wind and the rain He may, he may have a sentence to server Turn, turn, turn again But ninety-nine years, he just does not deserve Turn, turn to the wind and the rain Too late, too late, for his case it is sealed Turn, turn, turn again A sentence, it is passed and it can not be repealed Turn, turn to the wind and the rain But he ain't no criminal and his crime it is none Turn, turn, turn again And what happened to him could have happened to anyone Turn, turn to the wind and the rain At that the judge jumped forward and his face it did freeze Turn, turn, turn again Sayin', ?Would you kindly leave my office now, please? Turn, turn to the wind and the rain I squinted my eyes and I stood up slow Turn, turn, turn again With no other choice except for me to go Turn, turn to the wind and the rain I walked down the hall and I heard his door slam Turn, turn, turn again I walked down the stairs but I did not understand Turn, turn to the wind and the rain And I played my guitar through the night and through the day Turn, turn, turn again But the only tune that my guitar would play Was oh how cruel, the wind and the rain
Arlo Guthrie
Power Of Love
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by T-Bone Burnett The power of love can make a blind man see Can bring a man to his knees The power of love can make a sultan grieve Can make a skeptic believe [CHORUS: The power of love is south of south And scorches out all the doubt The power of love is the name of names And burns away all the pain The power of love can make a gangster cry Can make a loser try The power of love can make a strong man weak Can make a bigot meek [CHORUS] The power of love can make a coward brave Can make a hero afraid The power of love can make a miser give Can make a dead man live [CHORUS] [CHORUS]
Arlo Guthrie
Prologue
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Words and music by Arlo Guthrie In the event of my demise Be sure to include this statement When you are bent on closing my eyes Thinking about what my life meant Alone on a hill back in '65 Things looked a lot like changing Singing our songs that we harmonized Dreaming of worlds rearranging And I don't know why I'm singing tonight Maybe it's time someone told you Just because you say you've seen the light Doesn't mean nobody sold you I can remember all of your smiles During the demonstrations Taking on what seemed like the whole world Igniting the hearts of our nations And together we sang our victory songs Though we were worlds apart Every thing then has now passed away Except for the love in my heart Sitting at home on computerized beds Tryine to come to conclusions Seeing reflections from rose-colored heads Ignoring the states of illusion Drunk in a world of material wealth No one can notice you falling Fantastic flights once good tor your health Now make you deaf to your calling And all alone the prophet groans With words as yet unseen Who'll be awake when the master returns Who will be lost in their dreams So in the event of my demise 8e sure to include this statement Only the words of love kept alive Are worthy of not being wasted
Arlo Guthrie
Ridin' Down The Canyon
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When evening chores are over at the ranch house on the plains And there's nothing left to do but lay around I saddle up my pony and go riding down the trail Just to watch the desert sun go down White faced cattle lowing, sagebrush everywhere Granite spires are standing all around I'll tell you folks it's heaven to go ridin' down the trail Just to watch the desert sun go down Ridin' down the canyon to watch the sun go down A picture that no artist 'ere could paint Cactus plants are bloomin' on the mountain side I hear a coyote calling to its mate White faced cattle lowing, sagebrush everywhere Granite spires are standing all around I'll tell you folks it's heaven to go ridin' down the trail Just to watch the desert sun go down White faced cattle lowing, sagebrush everywhere Granite spires are standing all around I'll tell you folks it's heaven to go ridin' down the trail Just to watch the desert sun go down When evening chores are over at the ranch house on the plains And there's nothing left to do but lay around I saddle up my pony and go riding down the trail Just to watch the desert sun go down White faced cattle lowing, sagebrush everywhere Granite spires are standing all around I'll tell you folks it's heaven to go ridin' down the trail Just to watch the desert sun go down
Arlo Guthrie
Sailing Down This Golden River
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Words and music by Pete Seeger Sailng down my golden river Sun and water all my own Yet I was never alone Sun and water, old life givers L'll have them where ere I roam And I was not far from home Sunlight glancing on the water Life and death are all my own Yet I was never alone Life for all my sons and daughters Golden sparkles in the foam And I was not far from home Sailing down this winding highway Travelers from near and far And I was never alone Exploring all the little byways Sighting all the distant stars And I was not far from home Sailing down my golden river Sun and water all my own Yet I was never alone Sun and water, old life givers L'll have them where ere I roam And I was not far from home Yet I was never alone And I was not far from home
Arlo Guthrie
Shenandoah
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The Missouri, she's a might riverAway you rolling river The red man's camp lies on her bordersAway, we're bound away across the wide Missouri, a white man loved an Indian maidenAway you rolling river With notions sweet his canoe was ladenAway, we're bound away across the wide Missouri Shenandoah, I love your daughterAway you rolling river I'll take her 'cross the rolling waterAway, we're bound away across the wide Missouri, the chief disdained the trader's dollarsAway you rolling river My daughter never you shall followAway, we're bound away across the wideMissouri At last there came a Yankee skipperAway you rolling river He winked his eye, and he tipped his flipper Away, we're bound away across the wideMissouriHe sold the chief that fire- water Away you rolling river and 'cross the river he stole his daughter Away, we're bound away across the wideMissouriO Shenandoah, I long to hear you Away you rolling riverAcross the wide and rolling water Away, we're bound away across the wideMissouri
Arlo Guthrie
Somebody Turned On The Light
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I've been to wild Montana I went there in a storm My boots were Texas leather My Levis wet and torn I loved it in Montana Loved it in the storm I think I'm gonna cross that river I just might be reborn New York, New York, winter, '61 Takin' me a city ride Somebody tall musta put out the lights 'Cause it got real dark outside [Chorus:] And I never saw the sun till '71 But I never gave up the fight I sure was glad when I saw the dawn Somebody, somebody turned on the light Somebody turned on the light Women, wine, and fast red cars And I couldn't seem to read the signs Somebody said, "Whose life is this?" And I said that it can't be mine [Chorus] When the world is wrong, better right yourself It'll make the dark clouds fly Nobody tall can put out the lights Just don't let the spirit die If you never see the sun till '91 Don't you ever give up the fight Sure be glad when you see the dawn Somebody, somebody turns on the light Somebody turns on the light
Arlo Guthrie
Someday
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Someday I'll be there with you When you're there, I'll be there too If you only knew I will be with you Someday we will meet again When we meet, I'll see you then If you only knew I'll be there with you It will make this farewell seem Little more than but a dream If you only knew Dreams are often true Someday I'll be there with you When you're there, I'll be there too If you only knew I'll be there with you Someday when we meet again When we meet our sorrows end If you only knew
Arlo Guthrie
Telephone
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Every morning just as soon as it's light Get out of bed and I'm feeling alright Make me some coffee and I sit down alone The rest of the day I'm on the telephone Hang up, hold on You got a dime so you come on so strong Save your money and let me be Hang up the phone and quit bothering me I got a phone in my bedroom and one in the barn A phone in my car and one in the yard A phone on my saddle for when I'm out on the range A phone in my pocket for when I'm down at the grange Hang up, hold on You got a dime so you come on so strong Save your money and let me be Hang up the phone and quit bothering me Now with devaluation all over the land The whole wide world has got more money in their hand They'll be calling me up from Peking and Nome I'm going to rip out my telephone
Arlo Guthrie
The Gal I Left Behind
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I struck the trail in seventy-nine The herd strung out behind me As I jogged along my mind went back To the gal I left behind If I ever get off the trail, boys And the Indians don't find me I'll make my way straight back again To the gal I left behind me That sweet little gal, that true little gal The gal I left behind me That sweet little gal, that pretty little gal The gal I left behind me The wind did blow and the rain did flow The hail did fall and blind me And I thought of that gal, that sweet little gal That gal I'd left behind me She wrote ahead to a place I said And I was glad to find it She says "I'm true, when you get through Ride back and you will find me" That sweet little gal, that true little gal The gal I left behind me That sweet little gal, that pretty little gal The gal I left behind me When we sold out I took the train I knew that I would find her When I got back, we had a smack And that's no gol-darned liar That sweet little gal, that true little gal The gal I left behind me That sweet little gal, that pretty little gal The gal I left behind me
Arlo Guthrie
The Motorcycle Song
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[Chorus] I don't want a pickle Just want to ride on my motorcycle And I don't want a tickle 'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorcycle And I don't want to die I just want to ride on my motorcycle It was late last night the other day I thought I'd go up and see Ray So l went up and I saw Ray There was only one thing Ray could say, was: [Chorus] Just last week I was on my bike I run into a friend named Mike Run into my friend named Mike Mike no longer has a bike. He cries: [Chorus]
Arlo Guthrie
The Motorcycle Song (In Album Arlo)
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Words and music by Arlo Guthrie Chorus: I don't want a pickle Just want to ride on my motorsickle And I don't want a tickle 'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle And I don't want to die Just want to ride on my motorcy... Cle It was late last night the other day I thought I'd go up and see Ray So l went up and I saw Ray There was only one thing Ray could say, was: Chorus This song is about the time that I was ridin' my motorcycle. Going down a mountain road, at 150 miles an hour, playin' My guitar. On one side of the mountain road there was a Mountain, and on the other side there was nothin' - there was A cliff in the air. Now, when you're going down a mountain road at I50 miles An hour you gotta be very careful, especially if you're playin' A guitar. Especially if that guitar is an acoustic guitar. Because if it's an acoustic guitar, the wind pressure is greater On the box side than on the neck side, because there's More guitar on the box side. I wasn't payin' attention.. Luckily I didn't go into the mountain - I went over the cliff. I was goin' at 150 miles an hour sideways and 500 feet down At the same time. I knew it was the end. I looked down, I said ''Wow! Some Trip". I thought it... Well I knew it was... I knew it was my last Trip, and in my last remaining seconds in world, I decided To write one last farewell song to the world. Put a new ink cartridge in my pen. Took out a piece of paper. I sat back and I thought awhile. Then I started writin': I don't want a pickle Just want to ride on my motorsickle And I don't want a tickle 'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle And I don't want to die Just want to ride on my motorcy... Cle. " I knew that, it wasn't the best song l ever wrote, but I didn't Have time to change it. I was comin' down mighty fast. But as you all know, and as fate would have it, I didn't die. I Landed on the top of a police car. And he died. I drove away On the road that he was on. I came into town at a screamin' 175 miles an hour, playin' the motorcycle song. I came into town, I jumped off my bike, the bike went around The corner by itself, went up on the stand by itself, turned Itself off. I walked over to my friend. He was standin' there eatin' Pickles. I said "Hi, what's happenin'?" He looked at me in the Eye and said "Nothin'". You gotta sing it with that kind of enthusiasm. Like you just Squashed a cop... Chorus
Arlo Guthrie
The Pause Of Mr. Claus
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This next song we're going to dedicate to a great American Organization. Tonight I'd like to dedicate this to our boys In the FBI. Well, wait a minute. It's hard to be an FBI man. I mean, first Of all, being an FBI man, you have to be over 40 years old. And the reason is that it takes at least 25 years with the Organization to be that much of a bastard. It's true. You just Can't join, you know. It needs an atmosphere where your Natural bastardness can grow and develop and take a Meaningful shape in today's complex society. But that's not why I want to dedicate the song to the FBI. I Mean, the job that they have to do is a drag. I mean, they have To follow people around, you know. That's part of their job. Follow me around. I'm out on the highway and I'm drivin' down the road and I Run out of gasoline. I pull over to the side of the road. They Gotta pull over too - make believe that they ran out, you Know. I go to get some gasoline. They have to figure out whether They should stick with the car or follow me. Suppose I don't Come back and they're stayin' with the car. Or if I fly on the airplanes, I could fly half fare because I'm 12 To 22. And they gotta pay the full fare. But the thing is that When you pay the full fare, you have to get on the airplane First, so that they know how many seats are left over for the Half fare kids. Right? And sometimes there aren't any seats Left over, and sometimes there are, but that doesn't mean that You have to go. Suppose that he gets on and fills up the last seat, so you can't Get on. Then he gets off then you can get on. What's he gonna Do? Well, it's a drag for him. But that
Arlo Guthrie
The Streets Of Laredo
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As I walked out in the streets of Laredo As I walked out in Laredo one day I spied a poor cowboy wrapped up in white linen All wrapped in white linen as cold as the clay ""I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy"" These words he did say as I proudly stepped by ""Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story I'm shot in the breast and I know I must die ""'Twas once in the saddle I used to go ridin' Once in the saddle I used to go gay First lead to drinkin', and then to card-playing I'm shot in the breast and I'm dying today ""Let six jolly cowboys come carry my coffin Let six pretty gals come to carry my pall Throw bunches of roses all over my coffin Throw roses to deaden the clods as they fall ""Oh, beat the drum slowly, and play the fife lowly And play the dead march as you carry me along Take me to the green valley and lay the earth o'er me For I'm a poor cowboy and I know I've done wrong"" We beat the drum slowly and played the fife lowly And bitterly wept as we carried him along For we all loved our comrade, so brave, young and handsome We all loved our comrade although he done wrong
Arlo Guthrie
This Land Is Your Land
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Words and music by Woody Guthrie Chorus: This land is your land, this land is my land From California, to the New York Island From the redwood forest, to the gulf stream waters This land was made for you and me As I was walking a ribbon of highway I saw above me an endless skyway I saw below me a golden valley This land was made for you and me Chorus I've roamed and rambled and I've followed my footsteps To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts And all around me a voice was sounding This land was made for you and me Chorus The sun comes shining as I was strolling The wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling The fog was lifting a voice come chanting This land was made for you and me Chorus As I was walkin' - I saw a sign there And that sign said - no tress passin' But on the other side.... It didn't say nothin! Now that side was made for you and me! Chorus In the squares of the city - In the shadow of the steeple Near the relief office - I see my people And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin' If this land's still made for you and me. Chorus (2x)
Arlo Guthrie
This Troubled Mind Of Mine
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There's gonna be some changin' 'round Babe, when you come turn me down Trifled on me for your last time When I come home at night Why you always start a fight? Now, babe I want you to know You left your motor runnin' slow I got off and got on a faster line Got me a baby that's got some dough When you gotta go, you gotta go Gonna leave you and ease This troubled mind of mine There's no need to talk to you 'Cause you know that we are through I can find a better place to spend my time Now if I stay out late You know I'm swingin' on another gate Gonna leave you and ease this Troubled mind of mine Now baby I want you to know You left your motor runnin' slow I got off and got on a faster line Got me a baby that's got some sense Gonna leave you to ease this Troubled mind of mine There's no need to talk to you 'Cause you know that we are through I can find a better place to spend my time Now if I stay out late You know I'm swingin' on another gate Gonna leave you and ease this Troubled mind of mine
Arlo Guthrie
Ukulele Lady
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I saw the splendor of the moonlight On Honolulu Bay There's something tender in the moonlight On Honolulu Bay And all the beaches are filled with peaches Who bring their ukes along And in the glimmer of the moonlight They love to sing this song 1: If you like Ukulele Lady Ukulele Lady like a'you If you like to linger where it's shady Ukulele Lady linger too If you kiss Ukulele Lady While you promise ever to be true And she sees another Ukulele Lady foolin' 'round with you 2: Maybe she'll sigh (an awful lot) Maybe she'll cry (and maybe not) Maybe she'll find somebody else By and by To sing to when it's cool and shady Where the tricky wicky wacky woo If you like Ukulele Lady Ukulele Lady like a'you She used to sing to me by moonlight On Honolulu Bay Fond memories cling to me by moonlight Although I'm far away Some day I'm going, where eyes are glowing And lips are made to kiss To see somebody in the moonlight And hear the song I miss
Arlo Guthrie
Uncle Jeff
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Uncle Jeff played the fiddle in his Colorado home And I backed him on the banjo so he didn't play alone We've got five generations of a fiddle playin' clan And it's nice to hear a fiddle by a fiddle playin' man Here's another song for Uncle Jeff Guthrie Written on the road by the light of the moon Thinkin' 'bout fiddlin' somewhere up in Michigan I hope that I can make it back to Colorado soon Well, my daddy had a fiddle, and he laid it on his son Sayin', "Son, play the fiddle like your fiddlin' folks done." Well, it's hard to learn to fiddle When you're fiddlin' on the run But fiddlin' is fiddlin', and fiddlin' is fun
Arlo Guthrie
Under Cover Of Night
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Words and music by Arlo Guthrie Truth is you've been waiting so long You're ripe and so insane Can the tentacles of your mind stop the pain How long will you sit there wondering What's happening to your heart Can't you fell the love surround you - That's a start Chorus: I'll take to the road in a little while Under cover of night You come or you stay Whatever seems right I ain't looking for friends or lovers Ain't looking for a pot of gold Had it all when I was younger - It got old Who will leave this world of sorrow Who will die to all the fears Kowning I'll be gone tommorow - Gone for years Chorus Somewhere the sun's just rising And the road comes in to view There's a wanderer freed from dying - Could be you Who will pay the price for freedom Learn the disciplines of the road Many tried but few succeed - So I'm told
Arlo Guthrie
Unemployment Line
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Words and music by Robb (Rabbitt) MacKay Now there's a new craze a-goin' 'round It's gettin' bigger in most every town From New York City out to Hollywood Got everybody in the neighborhood CHORUS: Down in the unemployment line You got yourself a place and I got mine We been here waitin' since the clock struck nine Down in the unemployment line Now every day you've got to fight the horde Just to read what's on the bulletin board When you go back and try and claim your space Some other sucker come and stole your place CHORUS I hope the people in the government Tell us how we're gonna pay the rent How we're gonna get enough to eat No that the workin' man is obsolete If things keep goin' like they seem they do Won't be long before they're down here too And they can be a part of this here mob Workin' nine to five to find a job CHORUS
Arlo Guthrie
Utah Carroll
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Arranged and adapted by Arlo Guthrie So you ask me my kind friend Why I am sad and still And why my brow is darkened Like the clouds upon the hill Rein in your ponies closer And I'll tell you all a tale Of Utah Carroll, partner And his last ride on the trail In a grave without a headstone Without a date or name My partner lies there silent In the land from which I came Long ago we rode together We'd ridden side by side I loved him like a brother And I wept when Utah died While riding up one morning And our work was almost done The cattle quickly started On a wild and maddening run The boss's little daughter Who was riding on that side Rushed in to stop the stampede It was there my partner died Lenore upon her pony Tried to turn the cattle right But her blanket slipped beneath her And she caught and held on tight When we all saw that red blanket Each cowboy held his breath For should her pony fail her None could save the girl from death When the cattle saw the blanket Almost dragging on the ground They were maddened in a moment And they charged with deafening sound The girl soon saw her danger And she turned her pony's face And bending in her saddle Tried the blanket to replace Just then she lost her balance In the front of that wild tide Carroll's voice controlled the round up "Lie still, Lenore" he cried And then close up beside her Came Utah riding fast But little did the poor boy know The ride would be his last Full often from the saddle He had caught the trailing rope To pick her up at full speed Was now his only hope He swung low from his saddle To take her to his arm We thought that he'd succeeded That the girl was safe from harm But such a strain upon his saddle Had ne'er been put before And the cinches gave beneath him And he fell beside Lenore When the girl fell from her saddle She had dragged the blanket down It lay there close beside them Where they lay upon the ground Utah took the blanket And to Lenore he said "Lie still" and quickly running Waved the red thing o'er his head He turned the maddened cattle From Lenore, his little friend And as the mighty herd rushed toward him He turned to met his end And as the herd came on him His weapon quickly drew He was bound to die defended As all brave cowboys do The weapon flashed like lightning And it sounded loud and clear As the cattle rushed and killed him He dropped the leading steer When I broke through that wide circle To where poor Utah lay With a thousand wounds and bruises His life blood ebbed away I knelt down close beside him And I knew that all was o'er As I heard him faintly whisper "Good-bye, my sweet Lenore" Next morning at the churchyard I heard the preacher say "Don't think our kind friend Utah Was lost on that great day He was a much-loved cowboy And not afraid to die And we'll meet him at the round up On the plains beyond the sky" So you ask me my kind friend Why I am sad and still And why my brow is darkened Like the clouds upon the hill Rein in your ponies closer And I'll tell you all a tale Of Utah Carroll, partner And his last ride on the trail
Arlo Guthrie
Victor Jara
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Words by Adrian Mitchell, music by Arlo Guthrie Victor Jara of Chile Lived like a shooting star He fought for the people of Chile With his songs and his guitar His hands were gentle, his hands were strong Victor Jara was a peasant He worked from a few years old He sat upon his father's plow And watched the earth unfold His hands were gentle, his hands were strong Now when the neighbors had a wedding Or one of their children died His mother sang all night for them With Victor by her side His hands were gentle, his hands were strong He grew up to be a fighter Against the people's wrongs He listened to their grief and joy And turned them into songs His hands were gentle, his hands were strong He sang about the copper miners And those who worked the land He sang about the factory workers And they knew he was their man His hands were gentle, his hands were strong He campaigned for Allende Working night and day He sang "Take hold of your brothers hand You know the future begins today" His hands were gentle, his hands were strong Then the generals seized Chile They arrested Victor then They caged him in a stadium With five-thousand frightened men His hands were gentle, his hands were strong Victor stood in the stadium His voice was brave and strong And he sang for his fellow prisoners Till the guards cut short his song His hands were gentle, his hands were strong They broke the bones in both his hands They beat him on the head They tore him with electric shocks And then they shot him dead His hands were gentle, his hands were strong Repeat first verse
Arlo Guthrie
Wheel Of Fortune
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[CHORUS:] Rolling, wheeling like I'm feeling Everything's gonna carry on You go your way, I'm going my way We will come and so be gone Wheel of fortune, turn for me now Turn to trouble in the West Wheels of completion rolling Wait to put my mind to rest [CHORUS:] Hey, Ezekiel, you can leave now You got to go or stay so long While your wheels just keep turning Turn to rhythm right and wrong [CHORUS:] Wheel of fortune, turn for me now Turn to trouble in the West Wheels of completion rolling Wait to put my mind at rest
Arlo Guthrie
When A Soldier Makes It Home
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Halfway around the world tonight In a strange and foreign land A soldier packs his memories As he leaves Afghanistan And back home, they don't know too much There's just no way to tell I guess you had to be there For to know that war was hell And there won't be any victory parades For those that's coming back They'll fly them in at midnight And unload the body sacks And the living will be walking down A long and lonely road Because nobody seems to care these days When a soldier makes it home They'll say it wasn't easy Just another job, well done As the government in Kabul falls To the sounds of rebel guns And the faces of the comrades Being blown out of the sky Leaves you bitter with the feeling That they didn't have to die And there won't be any victory parades For those that's coming back They'll fly them in at midnight And unload the body sacks And the living will be walking down A long and lonely road Because nobody seems to care these days When a soldier makes it home Halfway around the world tonight In a strange and foreign land A soldier unpacks memories That he saved from Vietnam Back home they didn't know too much There was just no way to tell I guess you had to be there For to know that war was hell And there wasn't any big parades For those that made it back They flew them in at midnight And unloaded all the sacks And the living were left walking down A long and lonely road Because nobody seemed to care back then When a soldier made it home The night is coming quickly And the stars are on their way As I stare into the evening Looking for the words to say That I saw the lonely soldier Just a boy that's far from home And I saw that I was just like him While upon this earth I roam And there may not be any big parades If I ever make it back As I come home under cover Through a world that can't keep track Of the heroes who have fallen Let alone the ones who won't Which is why nobody seems to care When a soldier makes it home
Arlo Guthrie
When The Cactus Is In Bloom
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Words and music by Jimmy Rodgers Cattle prowl and the coyotes howl Out on the Great Divide Never done no wrong, just singin' a song As down the trail I ride Rattle snakes rattle at the prairie dogs You can hear that mournful tune 'Cause it's round-up time, a-way out west When the cactus is in bloom Yodel... CHORUS Daylight comes and the cowhands yell They call out every man Throw my saddle on my old cow horse I drink my coffee from a can The sun goes down on the cattle trail And I'm gazin' at the moon 'Cause it's round-up time, a-way out west When the cactus is in bloom Yodel . . . Now we don't have cold weather It never snows or rains This is where the sun shines best Out on the western plains Some of the boys are gone away But they will be back soon 'Cause it's round-up time, a-way out west When the cactus is in bloom Yodel... CHORUS
Arlo Guthrie
When The Ship Comes In
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Oh, the time will come up when the winds will stop And the breeze will cease to be breathin' Like the stillness in the wind before the hurricane begins The hour that the ship comes in And the sea will split and the ships will hit And the sands on the shoreline will be shakin? And the tide will pound and the wind will sound And the mornin? will be a breakin? The fishes will laugh as they swim out of the path And the seagulls, they'll be a smilin? And the rocks on the sand will proudly stand The hour that the ship comes in And the words that are used for to get the ship confused Will not be understood as they're spoken For the chains of the sea will have busted in the night And be buried on the bottom of the ocean A song will lift as the mainsail shifts And the boat drifts on to the shoreline And the sun will respect every face on the deck The hour that the ship comes in And then the sands will roll out a carpet of gold For your weary toes to be a touchin' And the ship's wise men will remind you once again That the whole wide world is watchin' Oh, the foes will rise with the sleep still in their eyes And they'll jerk from their beds and think they're dreamin' But they'll pinch themselves and squeal and they'll know that it's for real The hour that the ship comes in Then they'll raise their hands sayin', we'll meet all your demands But we'll shout from the bow, your days are numbered And like Pharaoh's tribe they'll be drowned there in the tide And like Goliath they'll be conquered
Arlo Guthrie
You And Me
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Words and music by Arlo Guthrie The sun is sinking down I'm standing 'round my window You say you're going away But I believe in love CHORUS: The power of love divine Will surely shine you'll see And guide us to where we ought to be You and me The moon is coming up And I'm still here in prayer You say you've had enough And that you just don't care CHORUS But while the stars are coming out And light shines from above You tell me in my dreams That you believe in love CHORUS The sun is coming up A rainbow on my window You say you're going away And even though you do The power of love divine Will surely shine you'll see And guide you home again to be... You and me
Arrogant Worms
A Man Has Needs
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Baby I wanna tell you all my hopes and dreams and fears But I'm watching television, could you get me another beer There's wrestling and pro football on, I hope you understand I must watch it all for I am a man And a man has needs And a man has desires Eternal fires that burn, burn, burn And a man he bleeds And a man he perspires 'Til the stains show on his shirt I missed our anniverary and the birth of our son It was beyond my control, my team was on a playoff run Oh baby, baby, baby, you mean everything to me But could you move your butt, you're blocking the TV? And a man has needs And a man has desires Eternal fires that burn, burn, burn And a man he bleeds And a man he does tire Gets sleepy and naps on the couch Oh baby, oh honey, oh darling, oh pudding, what are you doing with that suitcase? Leaving me? What do you mean we don't communicate? We're talking all the time. We're talk about-- Ooh! Monster trucks! That little Volkswagon ain't got no chance against The Cowcrusher! c'mon Cowcrusher, crush that little Volks-- you're gone. I hope she left me one of them pudding pops. They're tasty. And a man has needs And a man has desires Eternal fires that burn, burn, burn And a man he bleeds And he shops at Canadian Tire And he always keeps his coupons And a man has needs And a man has desires Eternal fires that burn, burn, burn And a man he bleeds And a man he expires And he cried when Wayne Gretzky retired
Arrogant Worms
Baby Poo
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I used to talk about politics, politics, politics, I used to talk about politics but I don't anymore. I used to talk about communism, socialism, capitalism I used to talk about all those isms but now I'm a dad And all I talk about is baby poo Baby poo, baby poo All I talk about is baby poo Baby poo, baby poo All I talk about is baby poo I used to rant about traffic problems, Fender benders, stupid signs I used to fear an accident But now I stay at home And talk about: Baby poo, baby poo All I talk about is baby poo Baby poo, baby poo All I talk about is baby poo Sometimes it's all brown and gooey Sometimes it looks like dijon mustard Sometimes it's like melted crayon Sometimes it just smells like POO I used to talk about philosophy, Kafka, Descartes, Socrates I used to think metaphysically But now I think the world evolves around: Baby poo, baby poo All I talk about is baby poo Baby poo, baby poo All I talk about is baby poo Sometimes it feels just like stucco Sometimes it feels like Jell-o pudding Sometimes it's like avocado Sometimes she just pees on me I used to be real int'resting Discussing issues of the day But now I call up my MP And tell her all about my baby poo Baby poo, baby poo All I talk about is baby poo Baby poo, baby poo All I talk about is baby poo Baby poo, baby poo All I talk about is baby poo Baby poo, baby poo All I talk about is baby poo
Arrogant Worms
Big Fat Road Manager
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Every rock band has this guy Not many people really know why He's got a cell phone and a backstage pass He's got a big gut and a big fat ass He's a big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager He plugs in guitars and microphone jacks (Big fat road manager) He makes sure the system won't feed back (Big fat road manager) He yells "check one" 'til his face turns blue (Big fat road manager) Don't you wish he could count to two? He's a big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager The contract says there's beer for free (Big fat road manager) A bottle for you and a case for me (Big fat road manager) I'll make sure you've a place to stay (Big fat road manager) Then I'll eat your deli tray He's a big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager You may wonder Why the road manager's so wide He's the one who blocks the door When the tax collecter comes by The tour hits the road, he spends his day (Big fat road manager) At an all-you-can-eat buffet (Big fat road manager) But if he can come to terms (Big fat road manager) He will manage the Arrogant Worms He's a big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Big fat road manager Is this thing on?
Arrogant Worms
Billy Themepark Shark
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I'm a shark, I'm a shark, A killer of the ocean, I'm a shark, I'm a shark, And silently I strike. I'm a shark, I'm a shark, I'm dumber than a tree, I only have three thoughts and they are: eat, swim, ... Eat. (He's a shark, he's a shark,) I was swimming in the ocean, (He's a shark, he's a shark,) I got picked up by a boat. A team of lonely fishermen sold me to a park, And now my name is Billy, I'm a Theme Park Shark. Billy, the themepark shark, Performing tricks for tourists that have payed five bucks a head. Billy, the themepark shark, He looks just like a killer, but he's too well-fed. The sight of blood once put me in a frenzy, Now it means that it's time to clean the pool... I'm a shark, I'm a shark, I'm swimming in a pool, I'm a shark, I'm a shark, I don't have to fight for food, I get three meals a day, and some extra on the weekend And I'm the only shark I know who has a dental plan. Who has a dental plan. (He's a shark, he's a shark,) And I'm a big attraction. (He's a shark, he's a shark,) They love to watch me jump, I've been the star for years and I've never been for sale, At least until the owners think they need a killer whale. Billy, the themepark shark, Jumping out football nets suspended overhead, Billy, the themepark shark, He looks just like a killer, but he's too well-fed. I'm a shark, I'm a shark, But I'm not in my natural habitat, He's fat and old and lazy, But I'm happy you're here. I really hope these activists don't free Billy, 'cause out there in the wild, I'd be dead. The sight of bloodworms put him in a feeding frenzy, Now it means that it's time to clean the pool. Billy, the themepark shark Performing tricks for tourists that have payed five bucks a head, Billy, the themepark shark, He looks just like a killer, in the wild, he'd be dead. Oh, Billy, (Billy) Billy, (Billy) The number one attraction of an aqua petting zoo. Billy, (Billy) Billy, (Billy) The poster fish of tourism Iowa!
Arrogant Worms
Bottle Of Booze
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There are many wonders in the usa The cities and the people, and Disney World, hooray! But coming back to Canada with joy the heart does ooze 'Cause when you get to the border, you buy a bottle of booze. You buy a bottle of booze You buy a bottle of booze When you get to the border, you buy a bottle of booze. You buy a bottle of booze You buy a bottle of booze When you get to the border, you buy a bottle of booze. I was traveling with a gentleman who didn't like to drink When we got to the border, I commenced to think I said, "Do me a favour" and he did not refuse When we got to the border, he bought me a bottle of booze. You buy a bottle of booze You buy a bottle of booze When you get to the border, you buy a bottle of booze. You buy a bottle of booze You buy a bottle of booze When you get to the border, you buy a bottle of booze. You may be in a comedy act, touring through the 'States You're playing hard in country bars, things aren't going great A fight breaks out at the pool table, you run before you bruise But you call the tour successful and buy a bottle of booze. You buy a bottle of booze You buy a bottle of booze When you get to the border, you buy a bottle of booze. You buy a bottle of booze You buy a bottle of booze When you get to the border, you buy a bottle of booze. Ok, the sad verse now, the sad verse: A friend of mine came to me, his face awash in tears For he could afford the spirit that gave him cheers (aww) I said, "Aw! Stop yer cryin'! I'll wash away those blues... When I was at the border, I bought ya a bottle of booze! " You buy a bottle of booze (hey!) You buy a bottle of booze (hey!) When you get to the border, you buy a bottle of booze. You buy a bottle of booze (hey!) You buy a bottle of booze (hey!) When you get to the border, you buy a bottle of booze. You buy a bottle of booze (hey!) You buy a bottle of booze (hey!) When you get to the border, you buy a bottle of booze. Hey!
Arrogant Worms
Boy Band
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You know something girl? I'm thinking about you right now. You don't want to know what I'm thinking, girl. Or... or do you? Girl, you think I'm the bomb, But I'm old enough to be dating your mom. And I did. She wasn't that bad, but you're grounded if you tell your dad That you like the way we dance, with rock-hard abs and plastic pants. You give us teddy bears, And in return we shave our chest hairs. Yeah, we're so manly. 'Cause we're singing in a boy band. The words are stupid, and the music's bland. Never see a dime for selling out to the man. Yeah, we're a boy band. We say we met in church, but we're a product to market research. We sing about sex, to little girls who shouldn't think about sex yet. It's not like they listen, it's not like they care. 'Cause when we sweat our bodies glisten. We like the color blue. (blue, blue) And we're appearing at a mall near you, right beside the food court. 'Cause we're singing in a boy band. The words are stupid, and the music's bland. No one likes us here, but we're big in Japan. Yeah, we're a boy band. Throw your hands up in the air, And wave them around like you just don't care. You just don't care, you just don't care, Now bring your hands down from the air. Doo doo doot doot doot, doo doo doot doot doot Doo doo doot doot doot, doo doo doot doot doot Doo doo doot doot doot, doo doo doot doot doot Doo doo doot doot doot, doo doo doot doot doot Doo doo doot ahh ahh ahh ahh. 'Cause we're singing in a boy band. The words are stupid and the music's bland. Another pollutant in the pop wasteland. Yeah, we're a boy band. Yeah, we're a boy band. Yeah, we're a boy band.
Arrogant Worms
Carrot Juice Is Murder
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Listen up brothers and sisters come hear my desperate tale I speak of our friends of nature trapped in the dirt like a jail Vegetables live in oppression, served on our tables each night This killing of veggies is madness, I say we take up the fight Salads are only for murderers, coleslaw's a fascist regime Don't think that they don't have feelings, just cause a radish can't scream [Chorus] I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream) Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed) Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories) How do you think that feels (bet it hurts really bad) Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime) Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go) It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell) Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade) I saw a man eating celery, so I beat him black and blue If he ever touches a sprout again, I'll bite him clean in two I'm a political prisoner, trapped in a windowless cage Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips by killing five men in a rage I told the judge when he sentenced me, "This is my finest hour, I'd kill those farmers again just to save one more cauliflower" [Chorus] How low as people do we dare to stoop, Making young broccolis bleed in the soup? Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes Let potted plants free, don't mash that potato! Oh spare the spud! Eat a cow instead! I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream) Watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stir-fry are sealed) Grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gourmet slob) How do you think that feels? (leave them out in the field) Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide) Greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves) It's time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame) Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade......) Power to the peas! Give peas a chance! all we are saying, is give peas a chance
Arrogant Worms
Celine Dion
/a/arrogant+worms/celine+dion_20009346.html
I think I've got a crush on Celine Dion The way she beats her chest when she sings a love song There's something about her makes me want to feed her And I'd love to be Mister Celine Dion She'll sing a song in English, and she'll sing en francais Both the songs will suck, but I love her anyway She's full of emotion, I'm full of devotion For Celine and I'll be hers someday Oh Celine Dion, you soft-rock my world Won't you please be mine Celine I would do anything, if you'd be my girl Oh, be my girl Celine I sent you cards and letters, but you don't respond You play hard to get, but my heart goes on and on (and on and on, etc...) I just wanna say, je aimerez And I can see your house from my van Oh Celine Dion, you soft-rock my world Won't you please be mine Celine I would do anything, if you'd be my girl Oh, be my girl Celine Celine Celine Her skin's so soft and clean Just like porcelain I wish she'd slather me With a tub of Vaseline (That was a little creepy) I'm sorry, Celine Celine Celine Celine Dion
Arrogant Worms
Christmas Blues
/a/arrogant+worms/christmas+blues_20009331.html
Christmas is here, where did the time go? Got to load up the reindeer, put on my red suit and go I use to like Christmas, but every year it gets worse Getting gift to six billion people is just too much damn work Got the Christmas blues, man this job is killing me And most of these stupid new houses don't even have chimneys I use to be jolly, now I'm depressed Had a twinkle in my eye, now I've got a bullet proof vest 'cause if the pace don't kill me, some gun totting yahoo will They keep shooting at me like I'm some sort of big fat red criminal Got the Christmas blues, I'm starting to see That I gotta be some sort of loser to get paid in milk and cookies I've grown to hate kids, especially their mail Always asking me for stuff, well guess what I don't care, oh Maybe I'm getting cranky as I get old 'cause I feel like giving them all a big lump of coal Got the Christmas blues, man, enough is enough Next year you can find some other sucker to deliver this stuff Got the Christmas blues, I tell you I'm gonna quit And find me a steady job with good benefits
Arrogant Worms
Christmas Hangover
/a/arrogant+worms/christmas+hangover_20009332.html
The holidays are over, you've gained twenty pounds The cat's choking on tinsel, pine needles stalk the ground There are no cards in the mailbox, just a stack of bills Yes, the holidays are over and you are feeling ill Have a happy Christmas hangover It's the most miserable time of the year The eggnog's made you fat, the party is over 'Cept for your wacky Uncle who is still drinking your beer Turkey's great on Christmas bur after a whole month Of turkey pie stew and pie you start to dread lunch Breakfast is much scarier 'cause all there is to eat Is fourteen Christmas cakes and a bag of cranberries Have a happy Christmas hangover It's the most miserable time of the year Your uncle's in the bathroom and granny's on the sofa And you start to wish that they'd just disappear You ate too many liquor-filled chocolates Got no money left in your pockets But at least you got lots of Ugly sweaters and bow ties and socks (And twenty-two calenders!) You're skin is pale and pasty, your energy is spent Along with all the money you need to pay the rent The children are all crying 'cause they've broken all their toys Is this misery worth one day of joy? Have a happy Christmas hangover It's the most miserable time of the year Your uncle has passed out on granny on the sofa And you start to wish that you could disappear And you start to wish that you cold disappear
Arrogant Worms
Christmas In Ignace
/a/arrogant+worms/christmas+in+ignace_20009333.html
It's Christmas in Ignace Mommy's got a rock She'll give it to Daddy It's Christmas in Ignace (It's Christmas in Ignace) It's Christmas in Ignace Daddy's got a rock He'll give it to Mommy It's Christmas in Ignace (It's Christmas in Ignace) It's a jolly time (here in Ignace) As we decorate the Christmas Rock It's a happy time And if the children are good they'll get toys to play with Like rocks It's Christmas in Ignace Bob's got a rock But he's gonna keep it It's Christmas in Ignace (It's Christmas in Ignace) It's Christmas in Ignace Jill's got a rock She gives it to Bob Now he's got two It's Christmas in Ignace (It's Christmas in Ignace) It's a jolly time As we sit and watch Rocky 1,2,3,4,5 It's a happy time Except for Malcolm His tongue is stuck to the sign that says, "Welcome to Ignace" It's Christmas in Ignace And all through the houses Not a creature is stirring Except for the rats That live here in Ignace Under the rocks That are played with by children And thrown at Malcolm Who's still stuck to the sign that says "Welcome to Ignace" It's Christmas in Ignace (It's Christmas in Ignace)
Arrogant Worms
Christmas Sucks
/a/arrogant+worms/christmas+sucks_20009335.html
One year I got a dog for Christmas And I gave it to the boy next door Then I gave him my bike and my mom's bank card 'cause that's what Christmas is for I used to give a lot at Christmas You might say I gave to much Until my family was broke and we had no place to live That's why, Christmas Sucks I went down to the mall each Christmas Had to the Santa what to bring A train, a bike, a pony and a great big pile of cash And please don't get my sister anything But the shopping mall Santa has been drinking His nose is red from years of drinking scotch He probably won't remember what's on my Christmas list This Father Christmas sucks Chorus: Christmas Sucks, Christmas Sucks Getting stuff is much for fun, you gotta look out for number one Christmas Sucks Christmas became worse as years went by It was the most dreaded time of year My parents got me clothes that just weren't cool When all I want is money to buy beer There was a girl at church who I was sweet on So in the Christmas play I was the ox I really think she liked me til I stepped on Baby Jesus Even for our savious Christmas Sucks Chorus Now that I am thirty-wight years old The only things I get are ties and socks My kids are never happy with what's under the tree Soon they'll understand Christmas Sucks Every freakin' year Christmas Sucks Christmas Sucks, Christmas Sucks, Christmas Sucks
Arrogant Worms
Christmas Turkey Blues
/a/arrogant+worms/christmas+turkey+blues_20009336.html
Hey kid, why the long face Is it 'cause Santa Clause is flying right over your place You've been a bad kid all year So quit you snivellin' sucker and wipe up them tears You don't deserve a damn thing You're not even cute and your attitude stinks It must suck to be you Nobody likes you so what can you do You think you got problems kid, you think you got strife But come each December do you fear for your life I'm your turkey so your troubles are small I'm stuffed on your table, I'm a tasty butterball I've got the christmas turkey blues If you got your necked ripped out then you'd have them too I've got the christmas turkey blues You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too You sir, you look like heck Didn't you get your Christmas bonus cheque Or maybe your woman left you Ripped your heart right out of your chest and spat on it too Is that why you're wreaking of gin You look dishevelled and there's drool on your chin You thought that this love would laugh But she said Merry Christmas baby and she booted your ass Well that's tough for you mister, too bad about your ordeal How about getting stuffed in the wintertime, see how you feel I don't get to yank no bones or make me a wish It won't be long til I'm just some scraps on a dish I've got the christmas turkey blues If your butt was stuffed and roasted then you'd have then too I've got the christmas turkey blues You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too
Arrogant Worms
Dog Named Bob
/a/arrogant+worms/dog+named+bob_20646341.html
I once had a dog named Bob And Bob's a funny name for a dog If you're gonna get a dog, don't name him Bob My neighbour's name is also Bob And every time I call my dog My neighbour Bob shows up without my dog Hey, Bob, not you, Bob I'm looking for my dog Have you seen my dog named Bob? My dog named Bob Bob the dog drank antifreeze I got a new dog named Jeez So I could yell "Oh Jeez!" just when I please And when Jehovah's Witnesses Come to my house in Saturdays I ask them if they'd like to witness Jeez Holy Jeez, they fell on their knees They beg me, "Please, can we meet Jeez, pretty please?" Oh Holy Jeez Well those Jehovah's Witnesses Called the Humane Society They took my Jeez away from me And then the Catholic diosces Made a big deal out of Jeez And now I have to pay to go see Jeez Hey, Jeez, remember me? Remember the beach and playing Frisbee with me? For the love of Jeez
Arrogant Worms
Don't Go Into Politics
/a/arrogant+worms/dont+go+into+politics_20009371.html
George Washington was the president But now he's dead (dead) Mackenzie King was Prime Minister But now he's dead (dead) So don't go into politics You'll end up dead Don't go into politics You'll end up dead Oppenheimer built the bomb But now he's dead (dead) Einstien was very very smart But not enough not to be dead (dead) So don't go into science You'll end up dead Don't go into science You'll end up dead And don't go into politics You'll end up dead Don't go into politics You'll end up dead Jimi Hendrix, Janice Joplin, Brian Jones, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, Roy Orbison, John Lennon, Bob Marley, Leonard Bernstien, Elvis Presley Well, we're not too sure about Elvis But I think you get the point Don't go into music You'll end up dead Don't go into music You'll end up dead And don't go into science You'll end up dead Don't go into politics You'll end up dead Break it down You'll be burned, you'll be fried You'll be buried alive And there's no hope thinkin' That you're gonna survive 'Cause there's the drowning and choking And cancer from smoking And smothered while sleeping And blood will start seeping So I have found, you'll end up in the ground And you'll be dead So I have found, you'll end up in the ground I wish there was an option instead But you'll be dead Dead Maybe with a bullet in your head But you'll be dead Dead Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very dead
Arrogant Worms
Drink With Me
/a/arrogant+worms/drink+with+me_20188861.html
Drink with me! Drink with me! Drink with me! Drink with me... I'm startin' to see double, and I just fell of my stool! I'm sluring all my words and I'm covered in my own drool! I threw up on my girlfriend and we got into a fight. Man oh man, what a fargin' great night! Well, I wake up the next morning and my brain is full of pain! And I swear to god, I will never drink again. But, six o'clock rolls around, and there's nothing on T. V., So I call up all my buddies, and they come drink with me! Oh Drink with me... Have a drink to you're health Then go and throw up on yourself! Drink with me! Drink with me! Drink with me! Ar! Well, after six or seven pints I figured I was hosed, So I had another five until the bar was closed. I staggered back to my place and I cracked another crate! When I woke up at sunset I was wearing what I ate. I threw up in the bathroom it's amazing what I saw! Peas and corn and bicycle parts and meat that still looked raw! I stumbled to the kitchen and I had myself a beer! Alchohol, alchohol you are a friend so dear! So! Drink with me... Drink for England drink for France! Drink until you pee your Pants! Drink with me! Drink with me! Drink with me! Ar! Woke up at six P. M. I needed liquor and a friend! So I grabbed a couple bottles and a pig out of it's pen. Drank a bottle of tequila, playing stupid drinking games, Then, wandered out into the snow and tried to pee our names. We staggered to a bar and we ordered up a pint! The waiter said he couldn't, he said "We don't serve swine! ' The pig, he punched the waiter, grabbed the drinks and oinked at him. That's no way to talk to my new best friend! Drink with me... Ninetynine bottles of beer on the wall! Me and the pig'll drink them all! Drink with me! Drink with me! Drink with me! Ar!
Arrogant Worms
Going Hunting
/a/arrogant+worms/going+hunting_20646340.html
Well me an' my buddies we got us some beer And a great big bottle of rye And boxes of ammo and guns to go with 'em And good old Charlie's glass eye Well we looked all around so we sees all of nature So calm and so serene But not for long 'cause we're gonna use guns To make furry animals scream 'Cause we're goin' huntin' We're gonna kill somethin' I don't care what it is Maybe a raccoon, maybe a gopher, Maybe the neighbour's kids! We're goin' huntin' We're gonna kill somethin' I don't care what it is Maybe a raccoon, maybe a gopher, Maybe the neighbour's kids! Well off we go, our guns are loaded And so's are we We weaves through the bushes and falls on our faces And piss on the nice trees And then we spot something moving an' a rustle We pump it full of lead And smile real wide as we hear it scream And thud as it falls down dead 'Cause we're goin' huntin' We're gonna kill somethin' I don't care what it is Maybe a raccoon, maybe a gopher, Maybe the neighbour's kids! We're goin' huntin' We're gonna kill somethin' I don't care what it is Maybe a raccoon, maybe a gopher, Maybe the neighbour's kids! Well off we go to see what we killed And watch the damn thing bleed The first thing we see is a bright orange cap And we shot down Ol' Charlie But he don't to mind, he smiled all the time He died real happy But next time he should tell us When he's goin' off to take a pee 'Cause we're goin' huntin' We're gonna kill somethin' I don't care what it is Maybe a raccoon, maybe a gopher, Maybe the neighbour's kids! We're goin' huntin' We're gonna kill somethin' I don't care what it is Maybe a raccoon, maybe a gopher, Maybe the neighbour's kids! Well the sun goes down and we head back to town And we hop in our pickup truck Strap Charlie to the hood, start up the engine Drive it home with any luck Well what do you know, we run into a pole But we're all still in one piece And we get a free ride back into town Courtesy of the police. 'Cause we're goin' huntin' We're gonna kill somethin' I don't care what it is Maybe a raccoon, maybe a gopher, Maybe the neighbour's kids! We're goin' huntin' We're gonna kill somethin' I don't care what it is Maybe a raccoon, maybe a gopher, Maybe the neighbour's kids!
Arrogant Worms
Great To Be A Nerd
/a/arrogant+worms/great+to+be+a+nerd_20009347.html
It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd The only light we ever see is from our moniter We argue about comic books and Internet connections The biggest highlight of the year is the Star Trek Convention Our town's not big enough to sign up any stars But we once met a red shirt who was phasered by a Borg (Man, he knew Mr. Sulu!) (What?) It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd We wear our Star Trek uniforms and talk like Captain Kirk We have our own heroes who we try to emulate I dream of one day being as sexy as Bill Gates We hate watching sports 'cause we're reading Carl Sagan But we'd watch the Olympics if they played Dungeons and Dragons (I'm a Hobbitt! Ha ha ha ha!) It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd We think Tolkein was a genius and Shakespeare was a turd We rarely get a date or get talked to by a girl Unless they're having trouble with their algebra homework We're emotionally bereft and we're sexually frustrated But we can download photographs of Agent Scully naked It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd We know the truth is out there but we'd have to leave our room We are the nerds in your neighbourhood Polyester's a fashion statement But there's more room on the beach for you 'Cause we're locked in our basement It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd We like to wear colours that do not appear in nature It's great to be a Poorly-dressed fashionless Star trekking roleplaying Ninety pound when wet down Pasty skinned pop drinking Underfed genius Yes, it's great to be a nerd
Arrogant Worms
Heimlich Maneuver
/a/arrogant+worms/heimlich+maneuver_20009348.html
I love you so much I need the Heimlich Maneuver The sun goes down on another day A day where I haven't found love I try to eat, but all I taste Is the flavor of a broken heart Then I saw you across the room I gasp and my breathing stops My heart's in my throat, or is it a potato? I love you so much, I need the Hiemlich manuver Your love sticks like a turkey bone in my throat She's in my thoughts and it'll need a jolt to remove her My love is consumating, while I'm asphyxiating Over her When I wake up, I'm on the floor Faint, dizzy and alone My stomach hurts, I think my ribs are cracked Not sure if I'm in a dream I turn my head, and there you are I call out and my breathing stops It's her again, crushing my esophagus I love you so much, I need the Hiemlich manuver Your love sticks like a turkey bone in my throat She's in my thoughts and it'll need a jolt to remove her Before my expiration, I need resuscitation Mouth to mouth She throws water on my face, slaps my cheek Helps me back on my stool She's a waitress here, but in the night She's a student at nursing school She comes again with a smile and the bill I pick it up and choke again She's charged me for my lunch and for the medical procedure I love you so much, I need the Hiemlich manuver Your love sticks like a turkey bone in my throat She's in my thoughts and it'll need a jolt to remove her For my lasting endurance, I'll need medical insurance For my bill For me to get some peace, I'll need a tracheotomy And an airbag
Arrogant Worms
History Is Made By Stupid People
/a/arrogant+worms/history+is+made+by+stupid+people_20518507.html
Scott became famous for freezing to death in Antartica. Columbus made history thinking some island was India. General Custer's a national hero for not knowing when to run. All these men are famous, and they're also very dumb. History is made by stupid people. Clever people wouldn't even try. If you wanna place in the history books, Then do something dumb before you die. Nobility are famous for no reason. Marie Antoinette enjoyed her cake. She cause a Revolution when she would not share. And her husband lost his head for that mistake. The Hindenberg was a giant zeppelin. Her makers made a minor oversight. Before they filled it up with explosive gas They should have fixed the no smoking light. 'Cause! History is made by stupid people. Clever people wouldn't even try. If you wanna place in the history books, Then do something dumb before you die. Tally-Ho! Tally-Ho! Our king and country's honor we will save. Tally-Ho! Tally-Ho! We're marching into history and the grave. So, if your son or daughter seem too lazy, Sitting there watching mad T. V. Just remember you should be quite grateful At least they're not making history. Ahhh! History is made by stupid people. Clever people wouldn't even try. If you wanna place in the history books, Then do something dumb before you die. Do something dumb before you die Do something dumb before you die!!
Arrogant Worms
I Am Cow!!!!
/a/arrogant+worms/i+am+cow_20009349.html
I am cow hear me moo I weigh twice as much as you And I look good on the barbecue Yogurt, curd, cream cheese, and butter's made from liquid from my udders I am cow, I am cow, hear me moo! I am cow, eating grass methane gas comes out my ass and out my muzzle when I belch o the ozone layer is thinner from the outcome of my dinner I am cow, I am cow, I've got gas I am cow, here I stand far and wide upon this land and I am living everywhere from B.C. to Newfoundland You can squeeze my teats by hand I am cow, I am cow, I am cow I am cow, I am cow, I am cow!
Arrogant Worms
I Pulled My Groin
/a/arrogant+worms/i+pulled+my+groin_20291911.html
I pulled my groin It's the very best injury Though I'm walking daintily I pulled my groin I pulled my groin When people ask, "It hurts you where?" I say "Put your hand right there" I pulled my groin I pulled my groin I pulled my groin Though I do not enjoy walking I am really happy talking 'bout my groin I pulled my groin I pulled my groin It's the treatment that I love Because I've bought some oil to rub I pulled my groin I pulled my groin Unless we're in playoff time When I've got a lower body injury that Will have to be a game time decision I pulled my groin It hurts me when I skate But not when I master.. Hills I pulled my groin I pulled my groin
Arrogant Worms
Jesus' Brother Bob
/a/arrogant+worms/jesus+brother+bob_20009374.html
If you haven't heard of me I wouldn't be surprised I bet you know my relatives Their names will never die My mother is a saint And my brother is a god But all I am is Jesus' brother Bob Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob A nobody relative of the son of God If only I'd been born just a little sooner I'd be more than the brother of God Junior I have to pay the ferry To cross the Galilee But not my brother No not him He walks across for free I finally get to work 'Bout a quarter after nine Already he's turning water into wine Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob A nobody relative of the son of God If only I'd been born just a little sooner I'd be more than the brother of God Junior One day when I was home I heard a mighty r oar There were a thousand people Right outside the door Help us, Jesus, help us! Came the cheering from the mob But then they got a look at me Oh nuts, it's only Bob Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob A nobody relative of the son of God If only I'd been born just a little sooner I'd be more than the brother of God Junior He died upon the cross I thought that I was free Finally people would get to know Me for me (Hi Bob, Hi Judas!) This was my big chance To finally get ahead The next thing you know He's rising from the dead Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob A nobody relative of the son of God If only I'd been born just a little sooner I'd be more than the brother of God Junior Everybody! Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob A nobody relative of the son of God If only I'd been born just a little sooner I'd be more than the brother of God Junior ahhhahhhhahhh-Bob
Arrogant Worms
Kill The Dog Next Door
/a/arrogant+worms/kill+the+dog+next+door_20009321.html
I once was a happy man of sound and stable mind Then my neighbour bought a dog He put a ribbon on it's head to make it cute But it still looked like a chihuahua He had me over to watch it sit and beg It bit my knee, and made love to my leg Now it barks all the night and all of the day Whenever it's not peeing on my lawn I didn't get to sleep last night till very late The stupid dog barked and grrrr'd I got up late for work and ran to catch the bus But I slipped on a turd I was certain it wasn't one of mine That that dog had crossed over the line I wanted to exterminate it and all it's kind From my lovely little suburb I'm gonna kill the dog next door Ain't gonna bark anymore 'Cause this is Judgment Day And the little runt has got to pay No more turds on my lawn That stupid mutt will soon be gone Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill that dog I see the little monster in my garden So I grab an axe and off I go And I try my best to get it All I do is sever my big toe My neighbour comes outside to call me He says his dog and me should just be friends He puts his little pet in my forgiving hands Then it starts to bite So I strangle it with all my might Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I'm gonna kill the dog next door (kill the dog next door) Ain't gonna bark anymore 'Cause this is Judgment Day And the little runt has got to pay No more turds on my lawn (doo-doos on my lawn) That stupid mutt will soon be gone Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill that dog Now the stupid mutt's in doggy heaven I strangled it to death and now I'm free But my trouble ain't quite over My neighbour called the cops on me I end up at the police station Where I am told that I must pay A 300 dollar fine Wow, what a good value I think I'll kill my neighbour too! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I'm gonna kill the guy next door (kill the guy next door) Won't call the cops anymore I never liked him anyway 300 isn't much to pay There are turds on my lawn (doo-doos on my lawn) They must be his, his dog is gone Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill that guy!
Arrogant Worms
Login To You
/a/arrogant+worms/login+to+you_10014635.html
You double-clicked my heart You've upgraded my life You booted up my hard drive Please be my cyber-wife You've logged into my soul You've downloaded my dreams Let's go to my chat-room And I'll show you what I mean I wanna log in to you So I can prove my love is true You're the apple of my ibm, let me interface with you I wanna log in to you (Log in to you) Password incorrect My login was denied I gotta open up your motherboard Put my Pentium inside I got a 21" screen The colours'll make you dizzy My attachments are full of love for you But your modem still rings busy (Beep Beep) Www dot love You at me dot com You can unzip all my floppy files And spin my cd-Rom I wanna log in to you So I can prove my love is true I'm free of any virus And I've been debugged too I wanna log in to you So I can prove my love is true Come be my laptop dancer, I got lotsa ram for you I wanna log in to you Www dot love You at me dot com Www dot love You at me dot com Www dot love (C'mon c'mon!) You at me dot com (Everybody now!) Www dot love (Lemme hear ya!) You at me dot com (Yeah!) Www dot love You at me dot com W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w- (www dot love) (you at me dot com) I wanna log in to you (www dot love) (you at me dot com) I wanna log in to you (www dot love) (you at me dot com) I wanna wanna wanna yeah yeah (www dot love) (you at me dot com) Www dot love
Arrogant Worms
Malcolm
/a/arrogant+worms/malcolm_20009385.html
Billy solves his problems by calling up his mom Heather solves her problems with drugs and Alcohol Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law But Malcolm has his own way and it's better than them all CHORUS 'Cause Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw And he never has the same problem twice Whether it's a bill or a cheque arriving late Rancid marble cheese or a steak that's second rate Awful TV programs or a broken ELvis plate Or his fiancee who dumps him because he's gaining weight CHORUS Aaaaggghhh Aaaaggghhh Problem solved
Arrogant Worms
Me Like Hockey!
/a/arrogant+worms/me+like+hockey_20256048.html
Me work hard 5 days a week Sweeping garbage from the street Come home not want book to read Not 'nuff pictures for me see Sit right down in favourite chair Wearing only underwear Favourite night is Saturday night 'Cause me can watch hockey fights Me Like Hockey! Me not like pro basketball 'Cause me short and they all tall Baseball slow like Forrest Gump 'Cept when Robby spits on ump Wrestlemania not so great Me like to see Hulk Hogan skate TV soccer not so hot You play bad then you get shot Me Like Hockey! Swedish players must be geeks 'Cause they still got own real teeth Not like Finnish players names What's a Teemu anyways? Russians worse in history Got stupid names like Valery Me like Sergei Federov Me like him more if head were off ha! ha! ha! Me Like Hockey! Please Mr. Linseman let the players fight Friends come over put game on Argue then we lat bets down Got bag of chips and case of Bud Should last till end of first period But Yankees they win the World Cup Me think the cheat use glowy puck! Maybe if we want to win her Maybe we should play in winter Me Like Hockey!
Arrogant Worms
Mounted Animal Nature Trail
/a/arrogant+worms/mounted+animal+nature+trail_20009324.html
On the Mounted Animal Nature Trail, you'll be sure to see All Mother Nature's favourite pets, all sitting rigidly They're never hungry any more, their last meal left them stuffed Don't worry, they won't walk away if you try and pet their fluff And the dog goes... And the cow goes... And the bear goes... And the pig goes... And the crow goes caw!, I guess it was alive You can see all this On the Mounted Animal Nature Trail The Mounted Animal Nature Trail, it's great for Mom and Dad Where else can Grandma and the kids see the silence of the lambs? Don't have to walk a hundred miles ore climb the steepest hill And the only fearsome sound you'll hear is the ringing of the till And the dog goes... And the cow goes... And the bear goes... And the pig goes... And the crow goes caw!, I guess it was alive You can see all this On the Mounted Animal Nature Trail The only things that bite are the bugs (Oww..) And unlike other theme parks, the mice won't say "Hello" And if you're having troubles with your own family pet You can bring him and add him to the trail Everyone, and the dog goes... And the cow goes... And the bear goes... And the pig goes... And the crow goes caw!, I guess it was alive You can see all this On the Mounted Animal Nature Trail
Arrogant Worms
My Voice Is Changing
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Last night when I went to bed With tangled hair upon my head In every way I really was a kid It happened without warning When I woke up in the morning I can't tell you just what happened but it did I grew six inches in one day It's painful when it goes that way And now my skinny body's really achin' And my skin just exploded With an inch of oil it's loaded It's so greasy you could fry a pound of bacon My voice is changing Out of thin air And body parts that once were smooth Are growing bits of hair My voice is changing What does it mean? I guess I'll be a real man Before I turn 13 I buy two pairs of jeans a week I'm such a tall and awkward geek I fall down when I try to play a grounder At dinner every night I eat A giant heaping plate of meat Then go out with my friends for quarter pounders And weird emotions come alive My hormones are in overdrive I've turned into a girl-watching creature And all my friends their marks are shot But they don't care because they're hot For Mrs. Smith the mathematics teacher My voice is changing I hate to hear it crack I pray to God I won't inherit Dad's hairy back My voice is changing When will it end? And when will mom stop kissing me In front of all my friends? Pretty soon I bet I'll Be right into heavy metal But my parents say at least it isn't rap I'll start wearing stupid clothes And threaten that I'll pierce my nose And tell my parents all they like is crap The first girl that I ever kiss Will be the one and who could miss Our love forever written in the stars? But I don't think our love will last Unless the four years go by fast Till I can use the backseat of the car My voice is changing Out of thin air And body parts that once were smooth Are growing bits of hair My voice is changing What does it mean? I guess I'll be a real man Before I turn 13 My voice is changing I hate to hear it crack I pray to God I won't inherit Dad's hairy back My voice is changing When will it end? And when will mom stop kissing me In front of all my friends? Cha-cha-cha!
Arrogant Worms
New Car Smell
/a/arrogant+worms/new+car+smell_20287578.html
Our love is like a new car smell Sooner or later it all goes to hell Somebody farts or spills some taco bell Our love is like a new car smell Our love is like a barbeque ignition You know that button you push lights the propane emission It works for a month then the spark goes missing Our love is like a barbeque ignition Our love is like a video game That you play alot and then it gets lame Then a new one comes out that's better but the same Our love is like a video game Our love.. Our love is like a surgical procedure It's painful and invasive, your insurance won't cover And when it's done you walk funny forever Our love is like a surgical procedure Our love is like a Meatloaf song It has its moments but it's way too long Like a bat outta hell it all goes wrong Our love is like a Meatloaf song Our love is like Keanu Reeves Who's made some really bad movies That's all time you can't retrieve Our love is like Keanu Reeves Our love..
Arrogant Worms
Oh God, I'm Santa Claus
/a/arrogant+worms/oh+god+im+santa+claus_20009339.html
Open my eyes, what a beautiful day Just the type that makes me want to say hooray I'm still a little fuzzy-headed from my sleep Into my brain reality seeps Look all around me, can't believe what I see These little short people are surrounding me I've got a white beard, a suit made of red My soul becomes filled with a keen sense of dread Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Hop out of bed, kick an elf in the chest What an awful way to awake from a rest "Santa, oh, Santa," the little gnomes cheer "You shouldn't be nasty at this time of year!" "What do you mean?" I say in a rage "And what are you doing with those big burlap bags?" The elves they do roar, "Why their full of toys For you to deliver to the good girls and boys. " Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Resigned to my fate, I load up the sleigh Harness the reindeer and get under way It's nippy up here in the cool arctic sky Good thing I remembered that bottle of rye Flying over rooftops, throwing out toys Hopefully crushing those good girls and boys Like a bad dream, I pray for release Please let this hellish existence be ceased! Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Oh God, I'm Santa Claus Oh God, I'm Santa Claus From this nightmare I finally awake My brain is on fire, my hands they do shake But wait, they're not hands, they're cute little paws I'm the Easter Bunny, I'm not Santa Claus! Oh God, I'm the Easter Bunny Oh God, I 'm Easter Bunny Oh God, I'm Easter Bunny Oh God, I'm Easter Bunny
Arrogant Worms
Particle Board
/a/arrogant+worms/particle+board_20297966.html
Well my baby came at me with a 2x4 So I fought her off with sandpaper It was 60 grit, it was really rough And it made a lot of sawdust But we patched things up with love and glue We went to the church and said "I do" Our honeymoon was at a hardware store Our love's a lot like particle board Particle Board, it ain't got no grain Unless you paint it with a darkwood stain Particle Board, it doesn't take no brains to know that Our love's a lot like particle board Well I heard the train come rolling by With cattle on board, so we decided We should drop everything and hop that train And take a one-way trip to the slaughterhouse Well we stared at the cattle as they took the walk To meet the man who worked the saw We stared at the blood and the guts and the gore It looked an awful lot like particle board Particle Board, it ain't got no grain Unless you paint it with a darkwood stain Particle Board, it doesn't take no brains to know that Our love's a lot like particle board We made love on a flat bed truck She worried about getting splinters in her butt I said don't think about those problems when we rut The deck's made of particle board Ahh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Particle board, you could make a dresser Or a shelf or a hutch or an ottoman You could leave it like it is or paint it up It's still gonna be made of particle board Particle board, it's useful stuff It's stronger than glue, it's better than fluff It sounds like a simile and that's enough To say that our love's a lot like particle board Our love's a lot like particle board Our love's a lot like particle board Our love's a lot like particle board Ahh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Particle Board!
Arrogant Worms
Proud T O Be A Banker
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I'm proud to be a banker I'm proud to be a banker I'm proud to be a banker 'Cause I get to play with other people's money I'm having a lousy day I burned my toast and spilled my coffee On my best shirt. So I had to change and then I'm late for work. So I rush into the meeting Where they are discussing what my future in the corporation is And I don't really give a damn But I don't have another job And so I lie and say I'm proud to be a banker I'm proud to be a banker I'm proud to be a banker 'Cause I get to talk to stimulating people I open up my mail Hoping that it's not a bill but it's from the bank Saying that I have only 20 hours to go To contribute to my RRSP for this tax year So I run down to the bank but there's a 20-mile lineup And I'm yelling and I'm screaming And I'm not wearing any pants ah ah ah ah ahhhhh I'm proud to be a banker I'm proud to be a banker I'm proud to be a banker 'Cause I get to screw with other people's lives I took out 40 bucks From the automatic teller. It told me That I couldn't 'cause I just had 10 But that can't be 'cause I just got paid on Friday So I go down to the bank, wait an hour in the lineup And I'm talking to the teller She says "Wait I'll get your last month's statement" She comes back in 7 hours Says I've got some interest charges and a cheque from Uncle Bill That bounced and so they'll have to charge me 40 bucks for that And for the box I never opened and I don't have overdraft protection And I think I'll die before I pay off all that I owe and I don't even Own a car I'm pleased to be a banker I'm proud to be a banker I'm pleased to be a banker 'Cause I get to play with other people's money (HE'S A BANKER) Would you please endorse this cheque? (HE'S A BANKER) Do you have any assets? (HE'S A BANKER) You should buy you shouldn't rent (HE'S A BANKER) The cheque will cost you fifty cents (IT WILL COST YOU FIFTY CENTS) (He's a banker and he says That it will cost you fifty cents He's a banker and he says That it will cost you fifty cents) (IT WILL COST YOU FIFTY CENTS)
Arrogant Worms
Proud To Be Canadian
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Our fair country Canada Is north of the USA Our maritimes are lovely And our prairies give us hay You might think you Yankees are better than us Canucks But we don't need no microchips inside our hockey pucks We know that you've got Disney World And you keep it very clean We don't have Bob Dole But we can drink when we're 19 We even watch your TV shows for hours and hours and hours We'll give you Alan Thicke but Shania Twain is ours We're proud to be Canadian We're awfully nice to strangers Our manners feel our curse It's cool in many ways to be Canadian We won't say that we are better It's just that we're less worse Your beer is not too tasty And you weather can't be beat We all fly south in the winter time To escape the snow and sleet We're pleased to say we've enjoyed all your southern charms But we get sun burnt when we exercise our right to bear our arms We're proud to be Canadian We're awfully nice to strangers Our manners feel our curse It's cool in many ways to be Canadian We won't say that we are better It's just that we're less worse Alanis Morrissette She is our latest pride and joy She used to sing about high school dances And chancing after boys But now she is fed up and about as angry as can be She's got one hand in her pocket and the other is on guard for thee We're proud to be Canadian We're awfully nice to strangers Our manners feel our curse It's cool in many ways to be Canadian We won't say that we are better It's just that we're less worse We're proud to be Canadian We're awfully nice to strangers Our manners feel our curse It's cool in many ways to be Canadian We won't say that we are better It's just that we're less worse We won't say that we are better It's just that we're less worse Tears are not enough!
Arrogant Worms
Really Scary
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It's the most frightening thing in the world It's the scariest sight I've ever seen The most chilling visual The most terrifying scene It's awful, it's crappy, it's monstrous, it's bad It's really really huge It's a fat man in a Speedo I'm walking on a beach in a tropical isle Hoping to enjoy the sand and surf When I see a mound of baby-oiled flesh Rolling and a broiling in the foam The only thing that's holding this Explosion of Caucasian is A tiny red synthetic coloured thread I try to sink it in the sand And entomb it in a castle but It always manages to break free The fat man in a Speedo I'm having nightmares I'm scared to open my eyes I try to free myself By going to the buffet But there he is He even eats in his Speedo I take up a collection at the bar the next day And everybody gives to the cause To rent a helicopter that will take this whale To Cuba and free the horizon from his bulk We have a celebration In one of his indentations And throw a bowl of jello in the air We think we've escaped and our scenery is clear But in comes a plane from Germany Thirty fat German men wearing Speedos!
Arrogant Worms
Steel Drivin' Man
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Special guest vocalist, Mike's dad: Bob McCormick (Mike's dad appears courtesy of Mike's mom) There once was a time when the country was wide. A time before cars and planes and minivans. So, to move things from one place to the other, the railroad was built. But it just didn't up and build itself. Nope, it was built by the railroad men. And among these men was a man among men among men among men among men among men, a man as tall as the sky and as wide as the land. A man who could lay track faster than anyone else could run. A man with the strength of ten men. His name was John Henry, and I'm not gonna sing about him. No, I'm gonna sing about a lesser know figure, one who doesn't deserve a song. A man as lazy as a thousand men. A man who could barely raise his own body off the ground. A man who was barely a man at all. His name was Mike McCormick. Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man Who never really gave a damn Only thing he worked on was his tan Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man He'd get up in the morning to hammer in them spikes Unless he'd been up drinking the previous night Or if his bones weren't feeling right Or if it looked like it was going to rain He had a tendency of being late for work And everyone around thought he was a jerk He'd take long breaks and say his back was hurt Then he'd have a drink to ease the pain Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man Who never really gave a damn Only thing he worked on was his tan Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man Mike's dad: Mike! Mike! Get up, Mike! Mike: What, what is it? Mike's dad: Get up, it's time to go to work. Mike: Awww, already? Mike's dad: Well, don't you want to hammer in them spikes? Mike: No. Mike's dad: Oh. His arms were like twigs and his legs were like straws His hands were like a baby's bum they were so soft He'd wheeze and moan and whine and cough Then go home and take a little nap He never got fired 'cause he was the boss' son He just hung around and bothered everyone Never drove a spike, not a single one Though now and then he'd give a tap Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man Who never really gave a damn Only thing he worked on was his tan Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man Mike's dad: Mike! Mike! MIKE! Mike: What? What is it? Mike's dad: They say they got a big machine that they say can drive in nails faster than any man alive. Mike: Sounds like a good idea. Mike's dad: No! No! No! Mike: Yeah, it'll work faster. Mike's dad: You don't understand! You see, it's gonna cost us all our jobs. You, Mike McCormick, gotta prove 'em wrong! Mike: Okay. So he took his hammer and hammered one time (Ow!) He took his hammer and hammered two times (Oh, jeez!) He took his hammer and hammered three times (Ohhh!) Then he got crushed by a meteor and died Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man Who never really gave a damn Only thing he worked on was his tan Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man Mike McCormick was a steel drivin' man (steel drivin' maaaan)
Arrogant Worms
The Ballad Of Dan
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I'm out on the range, surveying the land Thinking of the job that's to be done My life is hard but I don't mind Men like me, that's how the west was won I stand the pain and the suffering For on the trail I am the king On doors I knock and on bells I ring Always sure that I will get the sale 'Cause I am Dan the Insurance Salesman In a beat-up Chevrolet I do ride I rope them in and tie them up and bind them legally And on the dotted line I make them sign Hi-de-hey (Hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey) hey! The door swings wide and I sense my prey Ready to fall victim to my pitch I tell him all about the plan With all of its inherent benefits If you lose an arm it's a thousand bucks Lose both of them and get twice as much And if you should die, well then, bless your luck You'll just be raking in the cash 'Cause I am Dan the Insurance Salesman In a beat-up Chevrolet I do ride I rope them in and tie them up and bind them legally And on the dotted line I make them sign Hi-de-hey (Hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey) hey! The sucker signs, the deed is done It's time for me to get back on the road A lonely man out on the land Where the wind can blow so cold I ride into the setting sun With the knowledge of a job well done But I can't rest until everyone Has become properly insured 'Cause I am Dan the Insurance Salesman In a beat-up Chevrolet I do ride I rope them in and tie them up and bind them legally And on the dotted line I make them sign Hi-de-hey (Hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey, hi-de-hey) hey! Yes, I am Dan the Insurance Salesman In a beat-up Chevrolet I do ride I rope them in and tie them up and bind them legally For on the dotted line I make them sign
Arrogant Worms
The Golf Song
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Gonna go out and play some golf ya, ya Gonna go out and play some golf My golf bag's full of the latest stuff I'm gonna go out and play some golf My putter alone was a thousand bucks I'm gonna go out and suck at golf Think I better take a muligan ya, ya Think I better take a mulligan I put my ball in the pond again I think I better take a mulligan I tee it up and take a swing and then splash Can I get another mulligan? Get up get up get up get up get up A get down get down, Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry Slow down! Slow down Don't hit the tree don't hit the tree Please hit the tree There must be something wrong with my clubs All my friends hit it farther than me Ya all my friends hit it farther than me I just hope I clear the ladies tee Everyobody hits it farther than me Just 8 more strokes then I reach a par 3 That kid just hit it farther than me Get up get up get up get up get up A get down, get down Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry Slow down ball, slow down down down Don't hit the tree don't hit the tree Please hit the tree I took a day off for this Never be as good as Tiger Woods no no Never be as good as Tiger Woods My balls always goin off into the woods Never be as good as Tiger Woods I'm hookin' my arms and I'm pullin my woods (What?) Never be as good as Tiger Woods Get up get up get up get up get up A get down get down, Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry Slow down! Slow down Don't hit the tree don't hit the tree Hit the tree hit the tree I really hate this stupid game
Arrogant Worms
The Happy Happy Birthday Song
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Once a year we celebrate With stupid hats and plastic plates The fact that you were able to make Another trip around the sun And the whole clan gathers round And gifts and laughter do abound And we let out a joyful sound And sing that stupid song Happy birthday! Now you're one year older! Happy birthday! Your life still isn't over! Happy birthday! You did not accomplish much But you didn't die this year I guess that's good enough So let's drink to your fading health And hope you don't remind yourself The chance of finding fame and wealth Decrease with every year Does it feel like you're doing laps And eating food and taking naps And hoping that someday perhaps Your life will hold some cheer Happy birthday! What have you done that matters? Happy birthday! You're starting to get fatter Happy birthday! It's downhill from now on Try not to remind yourself Your best years are all gone If cryogenics were all free Then you could live like Walt Disney And live for all eternity Inside a block of ice But instead your time is set This is the only life you get And though it hasn't ended yet Sometimes you wish it might Happy birthday! You wish you had more money Happy birthday! Your life's so sad it's funny Happy birthday! How much more can you take? But your friends are hungry So just cut the stupid cake Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Happy birthday, dear...
Arrogant Worms
The Monkey Song
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If you believe in Darwin's theory I'm not saying you have to but it's an interesting theory Darwin said we all evolve from monkeys If his theory is accurate and who am I to say? Does the opposite work going the other way? If it does I wanna devolve back to a monkey I wanna be a monkey that's for sure I wanna be a monkey like Curious George I would sit around all day just eating bananas I might be naked or just wear pyjamas And make my money appearing in hilarious movies Monkey see, monkey do That would be my excuse It's not my fault, I'm just a monkey who can see I wanna be a monkey, that'd be nice I wanna be a monkey, eating other monkey's lice When they say it's so easy that a monkey could do it I'd be more than happy to prove it Then you'd know for sure if it was easy or not And if you wanna see the home of Michael Jackson I could provide some simian distraction Cuz we all know monkeys are Michael's second biggest weakness I wanna be a monkey yes I do I wanna be a monkey and fling my poo I wanna be a monkey I'd be agape if I was an ape What a thrilla to be a gorilla It would rock to be a macaque I wanna be a monkey
Arrogant Worms
The Mountie Song
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When I was a kid I wanted to grow up and be cop in a province town or county I thought it would be great if someday I could only ever be a mountie I wanted to beat up crooks and make arrests because that's part of the profession But now I sit on my horse and tell American tourists the Parliament's in session I really don't look good in red and my stupid hat flies off my head in every parade I'm young and strong and have no fear but now I'm spending my career in motorcades I want to enforce the law, I want to wear normal clothes I don't want to have to smile for diplomats' home videos I good at working real hard, I should have joined the coast guard Oh no, the RCMP Is not the life for me I used to think that a mountie had to be honest, loyal, humble, strong and thrifty But even though we don't break ranks, we get no thanks, they took us off the fifty (dollar bill) On Sussex Drive in hallowed halls we act like guards in shopping malls, it's such a pain Like someone's plotting the assassination of the Minister if Sports and Recreation, oh that's insane Sometimes I just want to puke on Sergeant Preston of the Yukon, Dudley Do- Right's such a jerk (Damn you, Snidely) And though he tries with all his heart, my horse couldn't catch a golfing cart, some days I hate to go to work I want to enforce the law, I want to wear normal clothes I don't want to have to smile for diplomats' home videos I good at working real hard, I should have joined the coast guard Oh no, the RCMP Is not the life for me I want to enforce the law, I want to wear normal clothes I don't want to have to smile for diplomats' home videos I good at working real hard, I should have joined the coast guard Oh no, the RCMP Is not the life for me Oh, no, it's not the life for me Oh, no, it's not the life for me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m- me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me
Arrogant Worms
The War Of 1812
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Come back proud canadian's, To before you had TV. No hockey night in canada, There was no CBC. In 1812 madison was mad, He was the president you know. Well he thought he'd tell the british where they ought to go. He thought he'd invade canada, He thought that he was tough. Instead we went to washington, And burned down all his stuff. And the white house burned, burned, burned. And we're the ones that did it, It burned, burned, burned. While the president ran and cried, It burned, burned, burned. And things were very historical, And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies WaWaWa In the war of 1812. Those hilbilies from kentucky, Dressed in green and red. Left home to fight in canada, But they returned home dead. It's the only war the yankies lost except for veitnam. And also the alomo and the bay of ham. The looser was america, The winner was ourselfs. So join right in and gloat about the war of 1812. And the white house burned, burned, burned. And we're the ones that did it, It burned, burned, burned. While the president ran and cried, It burned, burned, burned. And things were very historical, And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies WaWaWa In the war of 1812. In 1812 we were just sitting around, Minding our own business, Putting crops into the ground. We heard the soilders coming, And we didn't like that sound. So we took a boat to washington and burned it to the ground. Oh we fired our guns but the yankies kept on a coming, There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago. We fired once more and the yankies started running, Down the mississippi to the gulf of mexico. They ran through the snow, And they ran through the forest, They ran through the bushes where the beavers wouldn't go, They ran so fast they forgot to take they're culture, Back to america, and gulf and mexico. So if you go to washington, It's building clean and nice, Bring a pack of matches, And we'll burn the white house twice. And the white house burned, burned, burned, But the americans wont admit it. It burned, burned, burned... It burned and burned and burned It burned, burned, burned I bet that made them mad. And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies WaWaWa In the war of 1812.
Arrogant Worms
Tv Weather Guy
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My father was a lawyer, mom's at university My brother and my sister, they both have their Ph.D. My grampa was a pilot shooting Nazis from t he sky But I am the most famous, I'm a TV weather guy He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke H e always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke Thinks a meteorologist knows what falls from the sky But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy They said that I'm not qualified to be on the TV Don't know Celsius from Fahrenheit so I just say degrees I just read the temperatures and make up a bunch of lies And end up being right more than the guy on channel five He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke Thinks cloud are made from cotton that have blown up to the sky But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy On Saturdays I must be out of bed by five A.M. Put on a ton of make-up and then stare at the camera lens Greeting all the viewers with a "Hi-hi-hip-hello!" 'Cause it's the day I have to host a kiddie cartoon show He smiles at the camera then to his puppet sock He raves about the crayon drawings of the family dog Did a promo at the shopping mall and made the children cry He's a lousy clown but a good TV weather guy They said that I'm not cute enough to be an anchorman Not tough enough for sports and for the arts I was too bland But I know that some day I will reach my TV goal When I guest star on Baywatch or 90210 'Til then I'll smile at the camera and tell a little joke He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke He wonders why big storms are always named for other guys But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy He's got a steady income as a TV weather guy!
Avril Lavigne
17
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He was working at the record shop I would kiss him in the parking lot Tasting like cigarettes and soda pop Seventeen He would tell me I was beautiful Sneaking in the neighbor's swimming pool Yeah, he taught me how to break the rules Seventeen Hey, those days are long gone And when I hear this song it takes me back We were on top of the world Back when I was your girl We were living so wild and free Acting stupid for fun All we needed was love That's the way it's supposed to be Seventeen Stealing beers out of the trailer park Flicking lighters just to fight the dark My favorite place was sitting in his car Seventeen We laid a blanket on the roof top That time I knew I wouldn't make him stop The nights were cold but we kept 'em hot Seventeen Hey, those days are long gone And when I hear this song it takes me back We were on top of the world, Back when I was your girl We were living so wild and free Acting stupid for fun All we needed was love That's the way it's supposed to be We were running red lights We were going all night Didn't care about anything We were living our dream It was you and me And we were seventeen Oh, oh, oh, oh... Seventeen Seventeen I remember what it felt like Just a small town kind of life If I could only just go back in time, Seventeen We were on top of the world Back when I was your girl We were living so wild and free Acting stupid for fun All we needed was love That's the way it's supposed to be We were running red lights We were going all night Didn't care about anything We were living our dream It was you and me And we were seventeen Seventeen Seventeen Seventeen
Avril Lavigne
All The Small Things (Blink 182 Cover)
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All the small things True care, truth brings I'll take one lift Your ride, best trip Always, I know You'll be at my show Watching, waiting Commiserating Say it ain't so, I will not go Turn the lights off, carry me home Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Late night, come home Work sucks, I know She left me roses by the stairs Surprises let me know she cares Say it ain't so, I will not go Turn the lights off, carry me home Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Say it ain't so, I will not go Turn the lights off, carry me home Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill The night will go on, my little windmill Say it ain't so, I will not go (na na na na na na na na na na) Turn the lights off, carry me home (na na na na na na na na na na) Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill (na na na na na na na na na na) The night will go on, the night will go on (na na na na na na na na na na) My little windmill
Avril Lavigne
Anything But Ordinary
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Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out I laugh myself to sleep It's my lullaby Sometimes I drive so fast Just to feel the danger I want to scream It makes me feel alive Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breathe? Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please To walk within the lines Would make my life so boring I want to know that I Have been to the extreme So knock me off my feet Come on now give it to me Anything to make me feel alive Is it enough to love? Is it enough to breath? Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please I'd rather be anything but ordinary please. Let down your defenses Use no common sense If you look you will see That this world is a beautiful Accident turbulent succulent Opulent permanent, no way I want to taste it Don't want to waste it away Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out I laugh my self to sleep It's my lullaby Is it enough? Is it enough? Is it enough to breath? Somebody rip my heart out And leave me here to bleed Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please Is it enough? Is it enough to die? Somebody save my life I'd rather be anything but ordinary please I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
Avril Lavigne
Bad Reputation
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I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation You're living in the past it's a new generation A girl can do what she wants to do and that's What I'm gonna do An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation Oh no, not me An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation Never said I wanted to improve my station An' I'm only doin' good When I'm havin' fun An' I don't have to please no one An' I don't give a damn 'Bout my bad reputation Oh no, not me Oh no, not me I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation I've never been afraid of any deviation An' I don't really care if ya think I'm strange I ain't gonna change An' I'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation Oh no, not me Oh no, not me Pedal boys An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation The world's in trouble there's no communication An' everyone can say what they want to say It never gets better anyway So why should I care 'Bout a bad reputation anyway Oh no, not me Oh no, not me I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation You're living in the past It's a new generation an' I only feel good When I got no pain An' that's how I'm gonna stay An' I don't give a damn 'Bout my bad reputation Oh no, not me Oh no, not Not me, not me
Avril Lavigne
Complicated
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Uh huh, life's like this Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is 'Cause life's like this Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is Chill out, what you yellin' for? Lay back, it's all been done before And if you could only let it be You will see I like you the way you are When we're drivin' in your car And you're talking to me one on one But you've become Somebody else 'round everyone else You're watching your back like you can't relax You're tryin' to be cool You look like a fool to me Tell me Why do you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're Acting like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated And life's like this you, You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into Honesty, you promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it No, no, no You come over unannounced Dressed up like you're somethin' else Where you are ain't where it's at you see, you're making me Laugh out when you strike your pose Take off all your preppy clothes You know, you're not fooling anyone When you've become Somebody else 'round everyone else You're watchin' your back like you can't relax You're tryin' to be cool You look like a fool to me Tell me Why do you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're Acting like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated And life's like this you, You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into Honesty, you promised me, I'm never gonna find you fake it No, no, no No, no, no (No) No, no, no (No) No, no, no (No)(No) Chill out, what you yellin' for? Lay back, it's all been done before And if you could only let it be You will see Somebody else 'round everyone else You're watching your back like you can't relax You're trying to be cool, You look like a fool to me Tell me Why do you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're Acting like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated And life's like this you, You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into Honesty, you promised me, I'm never gonna find you fake it No, no Why do you have to go and make things so complicated? (Yeah, yeah) I see the way you're Acting like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated And life's like this you, You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into Honesty, you promised me I'm never gonna find you fake it No, no, no
Avril Lavigne
Contagious
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When you're not here I don't know what to do I do not think that I can wait To go over and to talk to you I do not know what I should say And I walk out in silence That's when I start to realize What you bring to my life Damn, this guy can make me cry It's so contagious I cannot get it out of my mind It's so outrageous You make me feel so high All the time They all say that you're no good for me But I'm too close to turn around I'll show them they don't know anything I think I've got you figured out So I walk out in silence That's when I start to realize What you bring to my life Damn, this guy can make me smile It's so contagious I cannot get it out of my mind It's so outrageous You make me feel so high I'll give you everything I'll treat you right If you just give me a chance I can prove I'm right It's so contagious I cannot get it out of my mind It's so outrageous You make me feel so high It's so contagious I cannot get it out of my mind It's so outrageous You make me feel so high All the time
Avril Lavigne
Despise You
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Please go away, Leave me alone. To you I have nothing to say, My voice has no tone. I'd rather be there, Because you're here. Whatever, I don't care, Because of you there was a tear. No one cares about me, No one needs me. But don't you see, I do whatever you do to me. Do you hate me, 'cause I know I hate you. That's why I want you to stay away from me, You weren't the only one that I knew. Don't try to touch my feelings. Don't try to see what's on my mind. 'cause the last thing I'd do is let you Back in my life. I despise you...
Avril Lavigne
Destiny
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Destiny Searching for my destiny Not knowing where to look Searching all over the world Pointless, without a system Where is my destiny? Where and what is my destiny? You will always know That I'm looking for it with you [Chorus:] Is it in the sky? Under the sea or on the ground? In a wood or in the deserts? On a mountain or in a valley? Together we will find our destiny Together we will search All those years, looking All those years, pointless Why do I say it was pointless Looking for it with you I will give you the reason My destiny... Is you...
Avril Lavigne
Eternity
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[Verse 1] Grains of sand slip through your hands Never seasing time Fold your hands in silent prayer Eternal peace you'll find [Chorus] Like two rivers flow To the open sea Someday we'll reunite For all eternity [Verse 2] Let the rain falling on your face Run into your eyes Can you see the rainbow now Through the stormy skies [Chorus] [x2] Like two rivers flow To the open sea Someday we'll reunite For all eternity [Verse 3] Standing in the rising tide Heaven's light shines on you, on you, on you Test the sea rising at your feet How far can you go 'Till you need God's helping hand To ride the undertoe [Chorus][x3] Like two rivers flow To the open sea Someday we'll reunite For all eternity
Avril Lavigne
Everyday Again
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Seeing you, walk right by me, Makes me think you really love me, Tell me, why is this going on? If you love me then please tell me, Is this unordinary? Is this extrordinary? Just please... Tell me... Don't go, Seeing the same places everyday, Let me go somewhere that I never been before, This is just more, Of my... [Chorus:] Everyday life, Seeing you everyday, Going to band on Mondays, With no limit anyomre, But nothing more, than my Everyday life, Partyin' on Wednesday nights, Going to my car on Friday mornings, Like an everyday story, Just go by the sound of my drummer drumming, And the sounds of the guitars slamming, Just... You should know, Sweetly walking to my locker, Open it up to find a note, Heres what he wrote: 'Girl, I know you want me, If you do, come and get me, Be at the park, by sundown, When nobody else is around, Be there if you want me. ' Signed no name, By the look in my eyes, I could tell it was him, He stared at me, with a grin, [Chorus:] This is my everyday life, Going through my pages Through the good and the bad times Why are you, sayin' to me, This ain't your everyday life girl, Your everyday life is you and me, My everyday life, Why go thorugh the pain, When the love and sorrow's just gonna drain, Now this is my everyday life.
Avril Lavigne
Fall Into You
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You say you turned it off hid your heart upon a shelf Scared of what it might cost to take it down for sombody else Cause loving her you lost too much of yourself Baby can't you see that she's not me Not me at all And I need you to know you can fall into me That my arms are wide open and will always be Right here waiting staying strong come and fall into me Don't compare her to me, believe in love I'll follow any road anywhere to get to you I'll open up my soul if that is what you need me to do Now baby it's your move all you got to do is Believe in love just believe in us And I need you to know you can fall into me That my arms are wide open and will always be Right here waiting staying strong come and fall into me Just believe in love, just believe in us Just believe in love just believe in us Baby I need you to know you can fall into me That my arms are wide open and will always be Right here waiting staying strong come and fall into me Come and fall into me Baby fall into me
Avril Lavigne
Fall To Pieces
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I looked away Then I looked back at you You tried to say Things that you can't undo If I had my way I'd never get over you Today's the day I pray that we make it through Make it through the fall Make it through it all [Chorus] And I don't want to fall to pieces I just want to sit and stare at you I don't want to talk about it And I don't want a conversation I just want to cry in front of you I don't want to talk about it 'Cause I'm in love with you You're the only one I'd be with 'til the end When I come undone You bring me back again Back under the stars Back into your arms [Chorus] And I don't want to fall to pieces I just want to sit and stare at you I don't want to talk about it And I don't want a conversation I just want to cry in front of you I don't want to talk about it 'Cause I'm in love with you Want to know who you are Want to know where to start I want to know what this means Want to know how you feel Want to know what is real I want to know everything, everything [Chorus] And I don't want to fall to pieces I just want to sit and stare at you I don't want to talk about it And I don't want a conversation I just want to cry in front of you I don't want to talk about it And I don't want to fall to pieces I just want to sit and stare at you I don't want to talk about it And I don't want a conversation I just want to cry in front of you I don't want to talk about it 'Cause I'm in love with you I'm in love with you 'Cause I'm in love with you I'm in love with you I'm in love with you